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Paws Down Lil' Monsters

The worst and the best of pop in one place.
Apr 11 '14


Topic For Discussion


How can you not laugh at this woman?

For someone who so does not care about the charts, I find it very odd that she is celebrating when one of her singles reached the number one position years ago, not the music per se.

I mean, I’d expect something like “Poker Face was released five years ago” from someone who only cares about the music, not the charts, but she is actually celebrating the day it reached #1, not the day it was released. She’s celebrating the chart position it reached, not the song.

Lady Gaga’s idiosyncrasies… so revealing!

Make sure you push PLAY while you discuss Lady Gaga’s positive outlook on life below! It’s inspiring.

22 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga topic discussion debate discuss delusional delusions orly o rly madonna give it 2 me give it to me

Apr 10 '14



Madonna officially revealed through Instagram that she is collaborating with popstar Natalia Kills:


"Working the midnight shift with Natalia Kills. 2 girls on a couch……….don"t it taste like Holy Water?#artforfreedom #rebelheart #revolutionoflove” said the queen of pop.

If Natalia Kills needed anything to set off her career to superstardom, this will be it. Good for her! 




The nominees for the 2014 Billboard Awards were revealed this Wednesday, and guess who’s not getting a lot of love? Yup! Lady Gaga.

What happened to the “album of the millennium?” What happened to the singer that was going to “slay" with ARTPOP?

She got slayed by Lorde (12 nominations), Imagine Dragons (12 nominations), Katy Perry (11 nominations), Miley Cyrus (nine nominations) and so many others instead.

The Billboard Awards will be aired on ABC from 8-11 PM ET on Sunday, May 18. Hopefully, without Troy Carter and without a hit single, Lady Gaga’s people won’t be able to buy out a spot for a “performance” this year. They should know better. 


In fact, Gaga doesn’t even deserve a place in the ceremony this year at all - as reflected by the number of nominations she got. But knowing Stefani Germanotta as well as we do, she’ll take her own chair even if the event’s organizers don’t reserve a seat for her.

It’s okay. I’ll offer her my seat, then.


"Where’s Bill Werde when you need him?" cries Lady Gaga somewhere in NYC.

Angela Cheng has the latest image of what Bill’s been up to:



Besides receiving nine nominations for the 2014 Billboard Music Awards, Miley Cyrus is looking HOT on ELLE magazine donning a Madonna-esque / Gaultier look.

Now we get it:

You have got to be cool and sexy to pull this off. That explains why Lady Gaga always fails when she tries to pull off a Madonna-esque look. 


22 notes View comments Tags: billboard awards lady gaga katy perry lorde imagine dragons miley cyrus artpop flop artflop bill werde madonna rebel heart rebelheart natalia kills jean paul gaultier jpg elle

Apr 8 '14





Bill Werde, the idiot who lost his position as Billboard’s editorial director, the one who helped Lady Gaga cheat her way to the top of the charts by supporting changes in the chart’s rules and regulations (when they benefitted the failed popstar) is at it again.

This time, this idiot is endorsing a pro-suicide hate message sent by a die-hard Lady Gaga fan who is always telling people to "kill themselves" when they are not her fans. 


It’s become clear that Lady Gaga supporters do not have any problem, whatsoever, with telling people to kill themselves when they disagree with their likes or dislikes in pop culture. That includes Bill Werde, someone who, until a few months ago, was in charge of an opinion-shaper publication that is regarded as the most important music publication in American culture.

Bill Werde might not have said the words himself. But favoriting such tweet is a clear sign of endorsement and support. Mind-likeness.

If you think endorsing pro-suicide hate messages is the only thing Bill Werde has been doing since he lost his position as Billboard’s editorial director, you’re wrong. He has been using his free time investigating the veracity of several Internet personas who have been exposing Lady Gaga on different pages (including Angela Cheng and Sabrina O’Connor). 

According to Werde, he called up the schools these two writers allegedly studied, and found out that no such names have ever been enrolled in those educational institutions. Which is kind of worrying. Last time I checked, there was something called PRIVACY, and no school is allowed to reveal any kind of personal information about their students to other parties without being previously allowed, or subpoenaed (which is not the case here). So either these schools broke the law, or Bill Werde is lying. 

Either way, it’s just so funny to see that Bill Werde, besides being a horrible person, has been turned into an internet joke by Angela Cheng herself, who now, photoshops “her" face and his in funny pictures. Either she is real or not, one thing is for sure, she has a great sense of humor and she beautifully put him in his place.




13 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga little monsters bill werde billboard angela cheng sabrina oconnor sabrona o'connor idiot hater hate message luigi germanotta haters

Apr 8 '14



When your boyfriend is forced to go to a Lady Gaga concert with you, that’s what you get: a "bish, puh-lease" type of reaction caught on tape for the world to see. Forever.



Has Gaga been drinking Millie Brown’s vomit?

“Artistic Revolution…” I mean, come on! 

1- Puking three blots of ink does not count as art;  

2- Isn’t Madonna the one who’s making a revolution?

The poor thing thinks she’s keeping “art alive” because people are talking about it because of her.


The songs in ARTPOP are so bad, not even Lady Gaga wants to play them! Take a look at the setlist of her recent shows at the Roseland Ballroom:


You know you’re a HAS BEEN when your concerts (after a new album) contain more “old” songs than new ones.

And worse: you perform them the same way you did years ago!

That’s what we call: REGURGITATION!

Oh, well, when you’re NOT talented or creative, all you have left is milking your past stunts for the rest of your life in order to keep your fans satisfied.



Lady Gaga is “inspired” by Rihanna now. She hopes she’ll get as many #1 hits as RiRi with her new look.



What’s the difference between a healthy life style versus the life style of a coke head? A picture is worth a 1,000 words:

Madonna (46 and two pregnancies) and Lady Gaga (28).

Speaking of Gaga at 28:


Some big girls look healthy. Some look great (Adele, for example). Gagasimply does not. She looks bloated. She is sluggish and unhealthy.

But my point is not how out of shape she is. My point is to criticize her ridiculous, self-victimizing discourse:

This is the woman who says she sacrifices everything to be a popstar - including her appetite. "Popstars don’t eat" she said. "Eating a salad, dreaming of a cheeseburger" she said.

Clearly, the only “salad” she’s been eating is a big plate of pasta and meatballs.

At least, we know one thing for sure: Gaga is full of shit (which explains why she looks so bloated). 



Lady Gaga doesn’t seem very pleased with a fan holding a MDNA iphone case. 

We had some technical issues, so this post had to be re-uploaded. Your past comments can still be found on here.

Thanks to 
errbody who contributed to this post. Including Christian Pedraza, Miguel Angel and Poser de Madonna.

16 notes View comments Tags: artpop lady gaga flop artflop madonna

Apr 1 '14

Happy 28!

Birthday [Girl] Woman

Lady Gaga turned 28 this week looking like a good old coke head with depression and an eating disorder. If anyone disagrees, I dare Stefani to reveal her latest blood or urine tests to see if she’s clean.


There are lots of people stretching and reaching in the articles they’re writing in celebration of this milestone of hers. 

But right now you might be thinking: “milestone?” 30 is a milestone. 40 is a milestone. Full decades are milestones. But not 28. 

Well, in all honesty, in her position (a popstar with a history of substance abuse), NOT dying at 27 (like so many music legends) should be considered milestone. Oh, well! Lady Gaga missed another chance to be included in a team of legends (Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Amy Winehouse, they all died at 27).

Mmm… come to think of it, it’s actually quite good that Gaga didn’t die at 27. After all, she doesn’t come close to the brilliance and talent of those people. So, yay! That is a real reason to celebrate not dying at 27, Gaga! 

Anyway, if anyone out there thinks Lady Gaga deserves any special attention for her accomplishments in her 28 years of existence, think again. Here are a few examples (A.K.A. FACTS) of how Lady Gaga isn’t special AT ALL in comparison with other popstars in the same position she is right now:

  • Lady Gaga (28 years old): three #1 hits.
  • Katy Perry (29 years old): nine #1 hits (she had eight #1 hits when she was 28).
  • Rihanna (26 years old): 12 (twelve) #1 hits.
  • And just for fun (because we know how it kills little monsters the fact that Madonna has always been better than Gaga), the queen of pop (at 28), at a time when there was no individual CD-track downloads to put a song in the charts, had six #1 hits.

In other words, when Madonna was the same age Gaga is now, she had already had twice as many #1 hits as Lady Gaga - and she didn’t even have Youtube views or individual downloadable songs to push her to the top of the charts at that time!

  • Adele, at 21, has sold more records than Lady Gaga’s entire discography together with just one album. 

So, I’m very sorry, Billboard - or any other publication that wants to embellish their articles on Lady Gaga’s birthday with her “accomplishments” - but there’s nothing special about her accomplishments when everybody and their cousin have accomplished more than her

  • And just in case you were wondering, Ke$ha (who’s 27 years old), also has more #1 hits than Lady Gaga as of today. 

And if these facts aren’t the most embarrassing things about the singer whose fan-base says is “the new queen of pop,” there’s only one thing to top it off: Lady Gaga (herself) and her stage performances

For those who don’t know, Lady Gaga rented the last few days of operation of the historic Roseland Ballroom in New York to perform a few shows.

The place is going down, marking the decay of THEATER (in value and interest) in this day and age.

In my opinion, it could not have been more appropriate than having such a cheap and shitty act like Lady Gaga closing down its doors. It’s very symbolic!

The value and quality of the entertainment business is so low right now, that historic ballrooms and theaters are being forced to close down their doors. Gaga is the perfect example of that. Just watch the following video. It’s cringeworthy, but self-explanatory.

12 notes View comments Tags: birthday happy birthday lady gaga katy perry madonna rihanna adele kesha sexxx dreams roseland ballroom roseland

Mar 25 '14

Fucking Bangerz

Miley Won My Heart

Bangerz Tour


If you follow me on Twitter you know that last night I saw Miley Cyrus’s Bangerz Tour, and if there’s anything I have to say about it, it’s that I am now, officially, a Miley Cyrus fan.


[Getting ready for Miley].

I haven’t witnessed a performer with that kind of energy since Madonna. And, no, I am not comparing the two singers as individuals, I am comparing the whole experience from my perspective.

If you follow me on twitter, you know I go to a lot of concerts, and they are not only pop music. But in that realm, I have seen Gaga live, her shows don’t have that kind of energy. I’ve seen Robyn live, her shows don’t have that energy (and she puts on a highly energetic show). Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Beyonce, even P!nk… you can watch them on stage, they are great, but they don’t have the kind of energy I am talking about, and it has nothing to do with the stunts they pull on stage. 

Miley simply blew out my mind with a highly entertaining show. And if there’s another point I can compare her to Madonna, is that she has a very good and self-deprecating sense of humor. Just like Madonna, Miley’s show is full of IRONY - I guess that’s what their naysayers fail to see in them.

The same way Madonna’s Virgin and Who’s That Girl tours came filled with self-deprecating, ironic jokes and commentary, Miley filled a nearly two-hour show with the irony (sometimes, the sarcasm) you would expect from a 21-year old girl partying in the USA. Oh, in the middle of it all, there was great pop music too, in case you were wondering.

The arena went completely nuts when Miley’s cute face started rolling her eyes in all directions in a huge LED screen that puts Lady Gaga’s styrofoam castle to shame. When virtual Miley opened her mouth to let the flesh and bones one come down sliding her own tongue to the beat of “SMS (Bangerz)”, the place went down in deafening screams.


The whole arena was adorned with big colorful balloons. Miley wanted to throw a party, and a real big one she did throw. There was a giant woman, a little person, men in animal outfits, flying hot dogs, cheerleaders, a twerk team, and people like myself and my friends:


[Having fun outside the venue].

There was less twerking and pussy-slapping than I thought I would see (comparing to videos from other cities). But just when you thought all those visual assaults and great video projections were all Miley Cyrus had to offer, she appeared near the crowd on the opposite side of the main stage for an acoustic session that proved she can be as great in a small, intimate session as she is in a big scale production. 

At the end of the day, Miley has more musical talent than most popstars today. And the fact that she doesn’t try hard to convince us that she is “great” amidst all the criticism she gets tells me that she knows it damn well too.

If Miley Cyrus is going to a city near you with the Bangerz Tour, make sure you grab the chance to see it. You might as well be witnessing the birth of our next biggest global superstar - and that’s what I think I did.


[I had so much fun during the concert, I lost my Chanel pin somewhere].

Pros and Cons

Pros: Her opening act started the show on time. At 7.00 PM sharp, pop duo Icona Pop (which I had seen before on their own tour) played their first notes. By 8.10 PM Miley was on stage. She was done by 10.00 PM, which means the party goes on forever after the show. Cons: the acoustics at the show I attended sucked, but that could have been just a local problem. 

8 notes View comments Tags: miley cyrus bangerz bangerz tour fucking bangerz chanel review

Mar 25 '14


G.U.Y. - Gaga’s Unsuccessful Years

By Chris Tanasoff and PDLM

Remember when Lady Gaga said “[art] is so easily accessible on the Internet it’s treated like McDonald’s, it’s treated like trash…I’m not a French fry, I’m foie gras”?

Well, that’s what her latest video is all about. Lady Gaga is so delusional and pretentious that she actually believes what she does is real “art,” while what her contemporaries do is junk food. With that logic, I’m no surprised Lady Gaga had an “artist” throw up on her earlier this month on stage.  

Gaga’s latest video opens with businessmen fighting over money while a fallen phoenix (Lady Gaga) lies on the ground - hurt, used up, trashed. This represents Gaga’s ever-self-victimising rhetoric, which now, argues that she had been exploited and taken advantage of by the people in the music business.

The problem with this rhetoric is that it is contradictory within Gaga’s own past discourse. She’s always said she was in control of her career, of her artistic choices. But now that she is underselling, now that she can’t have a #1 hit, she’s blaming other people for mishandling her career.  As of now, Lady Gaga argues that the music business left her dried-out. 

Who is she talking about? The same people that launched her career? Akon? Laurieann Gibson? Troy Carter? Jennifer O’Neil? Perez Hilton? People that had to fight to get paid for their overtime work for her? People that dedicated their time to build her career? People who invested their own money on her as a start-up, then wanted to cash out? Yup, those same people that made her a star but yes, of course, for her, they simply took advantage of her. The “artiste.” 


We then see Lady Gaga crawl to her feet and walk to Hearst Castle as the song “ARTPOP” plays with the saying “a hybrid can withstand these things.” Wait! I thought this video was for another song, not “ARTPOP.” Mmm… Gaga uses this video to promote not one, not two, but THREE failed songs off of her latest failed album. That doesn’t sound very artistic. “3-for-1” is the kind of thing you see at a discount store. Oh, yeah, that’s right. We are talking about Lady Gaga. It makes sense now.

Back to the “hybrid” topic, it seems Lady Gaga actually believes she’s a “hybrid” within pop music. I think she truly believes she’s a hybrid of classical training and pop artistry in one. She actually believes that she’s the ONLY one that has artistic merit in her work. It’s painful to watch. Specially when, at the end, the outcome of her work is always middle of the road, generic, and common place. 

As Lady Gaga stumbles towards Hearst Castle, we get a first hand look at just how poorly the “short film” was directed and produced. The camera work is sloppy, and as the soundtrack goes from “ARTPOP” to “Venus,” there’s no segue. The transition is not smooth - and it’s not like she did it on purpose. It was just badly directed. Welcome to Mariah Carey land - where their delusional heads are so far up their asses, they think they can direct their videos without any actual technical knowledge. But I guess Lady Gaga “directed” this video on her own, the same way she “designed” that bubble dress. 

Once within the Hearst Castle property, Gaga is taken in, bathed, and baptised by its “creative” occupants. They’re probably representing that sub-class of “artists” she calls the “haus.” Her baptism and rebirth happen in the property’s pool. This scene looks like it was thrown together in 5 mins. The arrangement was awful, the timing was off and the opulence of the magnificent pool takes away from anything grand Gaga was trying to achieve herself. But when you’re a try-hard like Gaga, anything grand takes away the attention from you. Even a big pool. 


After Gaga is “reborn,” we then get our first look at Gaga’s series of pretentious “shades.” Be careful! She’s trying to throw shade at everyone! Including the the cast of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills (who participate in this mess, I mean, video). Let’s take a look at the wives’s cameo: 


Notice something strange about that picture? The RHOBH are awkwardly holding those instruments,  there is no precision, or expertise in the way they “play” them. Gaga’s goal is to take a jab at people who become “famous” for no reason. They have no musical talent, they can’t play instruments, they can’t sing, but they are famous anyway. The real housewives are there to represent the stars with no real talent or musical ability having undeserved fame.

This is very rich coming from a woman who became famous mainly because of her wardrobe, and surely NOT because of the generic, contemporary pop music she makes. It gets even better when you think of how hard Lady Gaga is trying to pass as a “multi-instrumentalist” when all she does is hit a high hat while her drummer does the work for her, and plays “air guitar” in her shows when no one can hear the sounds of the instruments she’s playing for real. But Gaga’s head is way too far up her own dirty ass for her to realize that the joke is on her!

But when you steal ideas from the Teletubbies, you know there;s not a lot going on in your head:


Finally, the actual single G.U.Y (Gaga’s Unsuccessful Years) starts to play accompanied by a series of basic dance moves. “Basic” seems to be the very best adjective to describe this video, and in all honesty, Gaga’s entire career. Here we see visual references reminiscent of “Bad Romance,” “Poker Face,” and some other older Gaga looks, all from the period of time she used to be famous and had hit songs. Gaga is trying to say that she’s back. Back in the game with her previous quality of work (!!!). 

Someone, please, tell Lady Gaga that her demise would be less embarrassing if she didn’t desperately try to recoup some of the “old magic.” She’s been around for only 5-6 years. It’s too early to copy her past work. Let Debbie Harry do it. Let Boy George do it. They were big in the 80s, they are still around. It makes sense they would rely in their heyday for a paycheck now. But Gaga? Already? Oh, well, who am I kidding? Gaga was already relying on her past work 3 years within her rise to fame - and that didn’t work either. 


Lady Gaga’s obsession with the charts and her underlying feelings towards Katy Perry are clearly expressed in this video too (besides her unfortunate comments following her sad and desperate performance at SXSW).

Take a look at the scene where Lady “mother of originality” Gaga is in the pool. The surroundings are Mediterranean-style (as is Heasrt Caslte and the styling of the video’s dancers). But suddenly, a very Egyptian boat is rowed passed mother monster. 

Whether that was intentional or not, it is a very fitting visual. Gaga stuck in the middle (repeating herself), as an Egyptian boat rides along. Where to? Probably the top of the charts, where Katy Perry is right now. 




Then Lady Gaga depicts Michael Jackson, Jesus and Gandi rising from their graves to take their “DNA” in order to have their clones made. Very sci-fi, very born this way-ish. It’s also very fitting. After all, these guys have qualities Lady Gaga is very fond of:

Michael Jackson was an accused pedophile (just like Lady Gaga’s best friend Terry Richardson and collaborator R. kelly). But that’s not the only quality Michael Jackson had that attracts Lady Gaga. She sees herself in him. After all, from the 80s until the day he died, Michael Jackson lived as a caricature of himself. The man died trying to repeat the formula that made him an uber star - and who is the female popstar that’s become a sad caricature of herself in just 3 years?

As for Jesus, well, he sacrificed himself for the rest of us, sinners, right? That was so Gaga of him! Victimizing himself for others! #copycat

Then there’s Gandhi. Oh, Mahatma Gandhi! He was a very peaceful man. He advocated for peaceful resistance, through peaceful protests. I guess Gaga identifies herself with him too. Especially when she doesn’t have to get her hands dirty when fighting other celebrities - she always sends her lap dog Tara Savelo, DJ White Shadow, and old fart Perry meek do the dirty work for her instead. 

Needless to say, despite Gandhi’s historic accomplishments (no one can take away from him), he was a notorious racist. But when you go around dressed up as a slave owner while your white friends put on blackface, being a racist is not a problem at all.


The video ends with Gaga’s new super race of artistic people now dressed as “executives.” They are then released from the castle and take over the world one office at a time. Then the credits role for FOUR MINUTES.

That’s right. Lady “I do everything myself” Gaga has credits that run for four minutes! That means that 30% of Gaga’s new video is just for the credits.

Never mind the other 70% of pure generic, pop formula regurgitation.


24 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga flop guy gagas unsuccessful years g u y girl under you review racist blackface slave owner the real housewives andy cohen mahatma gandhi gandhi jesus jesus christ michael jackson little monsters

Mar 16 '14

#FlopWatch2014 [UK]

UK Official Charts Reveals Best Selling Albums of 2013

But Where the F… is Lady Gaga?

Lady Gaga is nowhere to be seen among the top 40 best selling albums in the UK in 2013.

Katy Perry's “Prism” is there. Rihanna's “Unapologectic” is there. Ellie Goulding's “Halcyon” also makes it to the top 40. Even fucking Celine Dion's new album “Loved Me Back to Life”  appears on that list!

P!nk's “The Truth About Love”? Check. Taylor Swift's “Red”? Check (and she didn't even need to sell it for 0,99 cents to overshadow Lady Gaga)!


Little monsters were saying… “queen of WHAT" again?

As you can see, I highlighted what I consider to be Lady Gaga’s direct contemporary female competition in the music business worldwide. But there is one other name that deserves to be mentioned: One Direction.

One Direction’s “Midnight Memories" appears on that list not in any position, it is the best selling album of 2013 in the UK. The interesting thing is that it came out on the last week of November. It literally was in the market for just one month! Lady Gaga’s artFLOP was released in the first week of November and it didn’t even make it to the top 40!

I think it’s important to expose Lady Gaga’s failure, because it is an empirical evidence that hype only gets you to a certain point.

Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP received more promotion in the UK than all those other female musicians on the list. She performed a one-hour concert at the iTunes Festival, playing exclusively the songs of her new album. She also performed them at the G-A-Y Club. She also performed at the Jingle Bell Ball in London’s O2 Arena. Not to mention her performances on national TV on popular shows like the X-Factor, the Graham Norton’s show, Alan Carr’s Chatty Man, and others.

In other words, if her album flopped, it wasn’t due to lack of promotion. But you know Lady Gaga, she’s always blaming someone else for her failures.

When you see these facts, you kind of understand why Lady Gaga’s stunts have become more and more desperate these days [Read: Lady Gaga’s gets vomited upon in concert…]

Problems Selling Concert Tickets

When it comes to touring, Lady Gaga is also being beaten by her female competitors. Let’s take a look at Australia, for example.

There, Katy Perry has just added a 24th concert date, while Lady Gaga is struggling to sell out tickets for four (4) concerts.

In England, Katy Perry has already been booked for 12 concerts, while Gaga’s stuck with four (4). Needless to say, these English Lady Gaga dates have been downgraded from big stadiums to arenas. 

You know something is not right when Billboard and Live Nation publish an article to ensure fans that Lady Gaga’s tour is a success (despite evidence that it isn’t, at least, not in comparison with the other tours around). 

If I were a little monster, I would be insulted by the way these publications assume I can’t do math and flat out lie about “success.” Case in point:

Live Nation and Billboard said Lady Gaga’s concert tour tickets have already made US $26 million in the US (they said 80% of the tickets are sold out). 

Interesting, because if you cross multiply these numbers to find out how much Lady Gaga would be making with the sales of her concert tickets if they were 100% sold out, you’d realize she is not as successful as they want you to believe she is. Go ahead, do the math:


If that’s enough reason for Billboard readers to feel insulted by it, let me remind you that they also said tried to clean up Lady Gaga’s reputation by saying that those 22 canceled shows in 2013 were “a loss.” But when you use your brain and compute the numbers revealed by Billboard, you realize something else. 


After all, according to them, Lady Gaga had sold nearly 200,000 tickets for those 22 canceled shows. Do the math again:

200,000 tickets / 22 shows = 9,090 tickets sold per show (average).

The problem here, is that the average capacity for the venues Lady Gaga was supposed to play is 19,278 people


In other words, Lady Gaga had sold roughly 50% of the tickets available for those shows. 

When you see these numbers, you  can even understand why Lady Gaga would suddenly have to cancel those shows due to an “injury.” The timing was perfect.

She can’t sell albums, she can’t sell out arenas… wait! Wasn’t she supposed to be the queen of something?


34 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga artpop artflop flop katy perry prism rihanna celine dion ellie goulding pink taylor swift one direction midnight memories emeli sande cancel cancelled billboard flopwatch2014 official charts uk australia england

Mar 15 '14


Call it anything you want, but art

In this day and age, everyone calls themselves an “artist.” From Instagram users who use their phone’s camera to snap pictures of cities, to people who call their natural, physiological features a work of art, to people like Lady Gaga. Anyone is an “artist” in their minds. 

Maybe these people had awesome parents who truly believed that their kids’s pre-school work deserved to be displayed at the Louvre instead of their refrigerators. Who knows?

All I know is this:

Defecating is not art. It’s a natural, physiological secretion that all human beings do.

Urinating is not art.  It’s a natural, physiological, fluid discharge that all human beings do.

Vomiting is not art. It’s a natural, physiological ability to voluntarily or involuntary expulse the contents of one’s stomach through their mouth, and sometimes, nose. 

No matter how many times a culturally void celebrity tells you it is art, it just isn’t.

People usually defecate, urinate, vomit, in their privacy. Why? Because these physiological features are common, we all share these same “abilities.” Doing it in public doesn’t make it “art.”


But people like Lady Gaga think it is. Believe it or not, there are people who, for some reason, believe that their shit is special (pun intended). There are people who think that drinking artificially colored fluids than randomly throwing up on a canvas is art. There are people who think that giving themselves a paint-enema before randomly defecating on a canvas is art. Come on! Even Lady Gaga believes her generic, contemporary music is art (talk about a big pile of shit)! 

But we get it, Lady Gaga. When everybody else is selling more albums than you, selling more concert tickets than you, and the only way you get to have your songs played on the radio is through payola, we can understand the level of desperation.

What we don’t understand, though, is why you would do it. It’s not like your cheap, desperate stunts for publicity have been working. In fact, Gaga’s sales have progressively decreased as the desperation levels of her stunts rose. So there are only three options here: Lady Gaga is just too stupid, Lady Gaga is a complete delusional moron, or both.


At this point, if my stunts haven’t worked, I would tone down and pay more attention to my music. Instead of relying my musical career on peripheral aspects like outfits and shock value, I’d just make better music. If I wasn’t capable of doing it (which clearly is Lady Gaga’s case), Id’ hire people to do it for me. It’s okay, Rihanna and Beyonce do it all the time, and they’re just fine. In fact, they’ll go down in history with more world records than Lady Gaga. They’ve already gotten more accolades than mother monster today, and the thing is, I cannot say for sure what the future holds for a singer whose last #1 single happened three years ago. But it does not look promising. Especially when she has already reached the point that the only way she makes headlines is when someone else is vomiting upon her.

But then you remember: Lady Gaga’s ego is bigger than everything else. She’d rather be dead than admit she is a crappy, generic songwriter. She will go around saying she’s a classically trained pianist, despite her often flawed renditions of “her own” music. She’ll say she’s one of the best songwriters in the music business today, but she’ll have five, six, sometimes seven songwriters working on her songs, that at the end, turn out to be like “Applause.” She’ll go around saying she’s a performance artist, but then she’ll go on stage and have a meltdown, cry endless love for her fans, then bitch about how low her record sales were in an interview. 

What is even more sad about Lady Gaga’s delusional psyche, is that she truly thinks she does performance art because she let a no-name “artist” throw up on her the other night during a show. She fails to see that it could be anyone, or anything, under that girl. Katy Perry, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, a cheap half-off canvas bought at Michael’s. Being vomited upon does not make you an artist. In fact, vomiting paint does not make you an artist. But you won’t find these people (Katy Perry, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus) getting desperate: their latest studio albums debuted with higher sales than Lady Gaga’s latest studio album. Their latest/current tour numbers show that they are being more successful than Gaga’s tour as well. 


But I guess Lady Gaga was born this way, and you know, you just can’t fight your natural aptitudes. She was born to leech off of other people, she can’t be any different: 

At first, Gaga attached her image to Madonna and Michael Jackson to sell records. Then she attached herself to big fashion names to sell records. Then, she attached herself to the gay community to sell records. Recently, she attached herself to contemporary artists to sell records. She can’t help it, she was born this way.

Speaking of that, a few days ago, Madonna revealed she was in the studio recording a new album. #RebelHeart was the statement made by Madonna herself, indicating her creative mood in the studio while creating new music. The always reductive singer Lady Gaga then changed her Twitter headline to “creative rebellion.”


Once a leech, always a leech. Once reductive, always reductive. She can’t help it, she was born this way.

Using of the little media coverage her desperate performance at the SXSW Festival got (despite the vomit and all), a couple of new songs “mysteriously leaked" earlier today. Perfect timing, after all, Lady Gaga already started informally promoting Artpop’s Second Act.

One of these songs is “Brooklyn Nights.” Let’s just hope this is an old demo from one of her earlier albums, because, Jesus, it is awful!

25 notes View comments Tags: flopwatch flop watch lady gaga sxsw doritos vomit little monsters madonna katy perry laughingstock beyonce rihanna adele taylor swift desperation desperate sad gif art performance art artist ridiculous reductive leech brooklyn nights

Mar 12 '14
Thought of the day: That awkward moment when you realize you’re not foie gras, not a French fry, but a fucking bag of Doritos. #artFLOP
Lady Gaga’s Foundation Used Only $5,000 in Grants in 2012
The shit has finally hit the fan and now everybody knows how Lady Gaga’s charity foundation spends its money: on everything else first, except charity!
As it’s been revealed, Lady Gaga’s Born To Steal This Way Foundation took in $2.6 million last year, but they used only $5,000 in grants. They spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on other expenses like a good PR, lawyers, and travel expenses.Yes, folks, her fans have been donating their parents’ money so Lady Gaga can use it more for good publicity, rather than doing good for real!Let’s break it down for you:
$300,000 in strategic consulting
$62,836 on stage productions
$50,000 on social media
$50,000 on event coordination
$406,552 on legal fees
$150,000 on philanthropic consulting
$60,000 on research
$58,768 on publicity fees
$77,923 on travel expenses
$72,000 on salaries
$808,661 on “other”
$5,000 on grants to organizations or individuals
Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation also spent $348,000 in her Born Brave Bus (which traveled with her previous tour giving out unsold tickets).
In other words: most of the money used beneficiaries Lady Gaga’s public image. It had nothing to do with charity per se. It’s a shame!Total expenses reached: $1.85 million.
Total used in grants: $5,000.
We knew Lady Gaga was dirty and shady, but these numbers go way beyond what we could have imagined! She is way worse than we ever thought!

The shadiness never stops!
Gaga will be performing at the SXSW Festival in a Doritos-sponsored event. They paid her $2 million dollars for her appearance, saying that it would all go to her Born this Way Foundation.Now we know how that money will be spent: on her PR, on driving out her unsold tickets on that Born Brave bus, covering expenses of her mother’s trips, and everything else. The change money will be used on some grant to some organization.

Thought of the day:

That awkward moment when you realize you’re not foie gras, not a French fry, but a fucking bag of Doritos.


Lady Gaga’s Foundation Used Only $5,000 in Grants in 2012

The shit has finally hit the fan and now everybody knows how Lady Gaga’s charity foundation spends its money: on everything else first, except charity!

As it’s been revealed, Lady Gaga’s Born To Steal This Way Foundation took in $2.6 million last year, but they used only $5,000 in grants. They spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on other expenses like a good PR, lawyers, and travel expenses.

Yes, folks, her fans have been donating their parents’ money so Lady Gaga can use it more for good publicity, rather than doing good for real!

Let’s break it down for you:

  1. $300,000 in strategic consulting
  2. $62,836 on stage productions
  3. $50,000 on social media
  4. $50,000 on event coordination
  5. $406,552 on legal fees
  6. $150,000 on philanthropic consulting
  7. $60,000 on research
  8. $58,768 on publicity fees
  9. $77,923 on travel expenses
  10. $72,000 on salaries
  11. $808,661 on “other”
  12. $5,000 on grants to organizations or individuals

Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation also spent $348,000 in her Born Brave Bus (which traveled with her previous tour giving out unsold tickets).

In other words: most of the money used beneficiaries Lady Gaga’s public image. It had nothing to do with charity per se. It’s a shame!

Total expenses reached: $1.85 million.

Total used in grants: $5,000.

We knew Lady Gaga was dirty and shady, but these numbers go way beyond what we could have imagined! She is way worse than we ever thought!

The shadiness never stops!

Gaga will be performing at the SXSW Festival in a Doritos-sponsored event. They paid her $2 million dollars for her appearance, saying that it would all go to her Born this Way Foundation.

Now we know how that money will be spent: on her PR, on driving out her unsold tickets on that Born Brave bus, covering expenses of her mother’s trips, and everything else. The change money will be used on some grant to some organization.

44 notes View comments Tags: thoughtoftheday artflop lady gaga flop doritos instagram btwf btwfoundation born this way foundation scam shady sxsw2014 sxsw

Mar 3 '14

Academy Awards

And the Oscar for Best Adapted [Screenplay] Madonna goes to…

Lady Gaga: Oscars Most Unwelcome

As you may know, Lady Gaga decided to attend the 86th Academy Awards ceremony last night. But the best thing about it is: no one fucking cared!

You may ask yourselves: what was she doing there?

Last time I checked, they haven’t created the Academy award for best adapted Madonna category yet, so… what was Lady Gaga doing there exactly?

Oh, yeah, of course! She is in desperate need of some publicity right now:

Her tour isn’t selling out, and her latest album did not produce any hit! So what’s left for a woman in her position to do than to put on her Versace gown and walk down the red carpet of any award show?

Good for us: the reception Lady Gaga had at the Oscar’s only reinforce the notion that no one cares about her anymore. Even morning shows passed on the opportunity to interview her!

According to Lainey GossipMichael Strahan completely dissed Lady gaga and passed on the opportunity to interview her at the red carpet.

Our balcony sits right on top of the Live! With Kelly & Michael corner. Almost every major star stopped to be interviewed by Michael on the red carpet. Charlize Theron, Kerry Washington, Lupita – big, big names. So Gaga saunters down the carpet, towards Michael Strahan, and they make eye contact, and she lifts her hand to wave…and he turns his back. Which means he turned down the opportunity to interview her. Didn’t even try. Didn’t even care. Not interested.

A minute later, Bill Murray comes along. Michael wants Bill Murray. Well, of course he wants Bill Murray. But the point is, you’d think he would have gone for Gaga too. But if morning television is even passing on Gaga, what does that say about Gaga? Seriously, nobody f-cking cared. And it couldn’t have been more obvious, the disconnect between how much she thinks they care and how little they did. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Lady Gaga is now calling up the producers of  Live! With Kelly & Michael trying to line-up an appearance on their show to prove to everyone that she is welcome and loved by them. You know, cause God forbid anyone thinking she isn’t loved by anyone on this Earth…

Considering that the red carpet is where celebrities go to be seen and judged by the way they look, don’t you think Lady Gaga looked a little bit too bloated and uncomfortable? 


The poor thing… 

If you think we are being unfair, let me bring you this clip from VH1’s Gossip Table, where they said the same exact thing:

Nobody cared about Lady Gaga at the Oscar’s, even though she arrived a little late just to make sure she got all the attention on the red carpet:


On the other hand, here’s how Madonna looked last night (wearing 1,000 carats of diamonds):


It seems Madonna’s Oscar’s after party has become the biggest bash in town! She is slowly killing Elton John’s party! Take a look at their guest lists and figure out where the has-beens and try-hards go, and where the real stars go:

Elton John’s party: Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Steven Tyler, Ozzy, Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, Kim Kardashian and sisters Khloe and Kourtney…

Madonna’s party: Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Miley Cyrus, Tom Ford, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi, John Travolta and Kelly Preston, Sean Penn and Charlize Theron, Anne Hathaway, Prince…

No wonder why real A-listers go to Madonna’s bash!

And speaking of the Oscar’s, I cannot talk about the ceremony and Madonna, and not mention her iconic Dietrich-esque performance at the Academy Awards in 1991 (I like it better than her performance of You Must Love Me in 1997):

"A girl can get awfully awful in the spotlight," said Madonna during her performance. Clearly, she’s a woman ahead of her time! She was probably talking about Lady Gaga back then! You know… if there’s a girl who is always awfully awful in the spotlight, that’s her!

26 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga oscar oscars Oscar's academy awards try hard flopwatch2014 flop flop watch Madonna ellen degeneres brad pitt angelina jolie

Feb 21 '14


Billboard Magazine LIES, While Lady Gaga Struggles To Sell Tickets

And we thought Billboard would try to recover their damaged reputation when they fired Bill Werde, and hired Angela Cheng Janice Min instead. Oh well, we were wrong! They are still publishing lies on Lady Gaga’s behalf.

Today, Billboard Bizz published a story on the additional tickets being offered to Lady Gaga’s “SOLD OUT” shows at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC:


"Lady Gaga’s sold-out Roseland Ballroom Residency" they said, "sold out within minutes" they added.Yeah, cute. In what motherfucking planet?

Right now, none of those shows are “sold out.” And you can check it out for yourselves:

As of right now (Friday, February 21, 2014, around 5.30 pm Eastern time), you can buy tickets for FIVE (of the seven) Lady Gaga shows at the Roseland ballroom on Ticketmaster (the primary ticket seller for the concerts).

The other two shows? They aren’t sold out either. They are on hold. You can expect those tickets to be put for sale anytime soon. Go to Ticketmaster and check it for yourselves! Here’s what comes up:


What makes it even worse and more embarrassing, is that the Roseland Ballroom is a small venue! For a regular concert, the Roseland Ballroom can accommodate 3,200 people standing, 2,500 for a dance party, between 1,300 and 1,500 in theatre style. 

Yes, that’s right! Lady Gaga can’t even sell out small venues like the Roseland Ballroom even after several weeks with the tickets in the market.

What is even more embarrassing is how her fans still believe in her ever-pathetic, never-ending "I love my fans, not their money" rhetoric. That Billboard article says that fans can purchase these additional tickets for $400 to gain access to a “VIP soundcheck.”

Yes, $400 dollars so you can enter the venue earlier to watch her rehearse/do a soundcheck. What kind of “love” is this? Surely, not love for her fans, but for her bank account. An interesting paradox can be found in Madonna.

The Queen of Pop is often described as a “bitch,” but she never charged her fans to gain access to her soundcheck/rehearsals, or to pay to meet her (which Gaga does, despite her “I love my fans, not their money” discourse). God! Madonna didn’t even charge her fans to be inside the Golden Triangle (the closest area to her stage)!

I was chosen to be in Madonna’s Golden Triangle five times - and I didn’t need to spend a dime for those passes! Now, ask me what happened to the Madonna fans who arrived at the venues she was playing way before concert time (while Madonna was still doing her soundcheck)? They got in for FREE! Using their FREE Golden Triangle passes! The complete opposite of Lady “I-love-my-fans” Gaga, who is now charging $400 a ticket so her fans can see her do a soundcheck.

Little monsters are not only culturally void, but they are real fools!

And just because not only Madonna is endlessly better, more talented, and more interesting than Lady Gaga, but being a Madonna fan is more rewarding than being a Lady Gaga fan, below there are some videos of Madonna interacting with her fans during the soundcheck for her shows from different places around the world.

PS.: no one had to pay $400 to gain access to neither the Golden Triangle, nor the soundcheck. Take that Lady Gaga and little monsters!

London - ”Are you sending those outfits to Lady Gaga?”

Amsterdam - Singing “Deeper and Deeper,” “Physical Attraction” and “Give it 2 Me” with her fans:

Washington DC - Having a “business talk” with the crowd:

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Performing “Give Me All Your Luvin’”:

15 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga roseland roseland ballroom billboard lies lie flop flopwatch2014 flop watch flop watch 2014 artflop artpop citi mdna mdna tour golden triangle madonna free soundcheck little monsters little monster fool fools rehearsal

Feb 20 '14

Dark Horse

Watch Katy Perry’s new video here!

Katy Perry Patra just released the video for her #1 hit Dark Horse!

The song has already been #1 for FOUR weeks in the US without a video, and this new release will ensure it will spend a few more days around the top of the charts.

Dark Horse is Katy Perry’s NINTH #1 hit, cementing her position (alongside her personal friend, Rihanna) as one of the most prolific hit-makers in the current scene. 

Katy is kitsch‬ and she knows it - that’s the best thing about her videos. We are glad she has found the success she has by embracing herself truthfully. 

You know, unlike Katy Perry, there’s a very sad and desperate popstar who tries very hard to be taken seriously - her delusions of grandeur are equivalent to Mariah Carey’s!

Fortunately, that sad and desperate popstar has achieved only A THIRD of Katy Perry’s success with her songs (despite having released more albums than her). Her name? 

Lady Gaga, of course!

Well, if you’re thinking it was unnecessary for me to mention her name, well, I felt like I needed to, in case you had already forgotten she exists (like the rest of the world already has).

Enjoy Katy Perry’s new video!

And remember: tickets for her PRISMATIC TOUR are on sale!


Speaking of tickets, we already have our tickets to Miley Cyrus show in our hands!


And while we are on the subject of tours, guess what? That sad and desperate popstar announced her Australian dates for the ARTFLOP Ball tour this week. 

Australia is one of the only places her previous tour (the Flop This Way Ball) wasn’t a complete commercial failure. But the big question is: how will tickets sell?!

Let’s take a look at some important facts:

Lady Gaga’s latest studio album, the one supporting her new tour, was a complete and utter failure in Australia. 


The album supporting Gaga’s tour is currently on the iTunes chart, sitting at number 75 (it never reached #1 there). However, on the official Australian Album charts (ARIA), ARTFLOP doesn’t even rank among the toil 50. In case you were wondering, Katy Perry’s PRISM is still in the Australian charts. ARTFLOP is the one that’s been out for quite some time now. 

In fact, ARTPOP has performed so poorly in Australia that it appears Lady Gaga has cancelled her Australian promo tour!

She announced a visit to Australia to January, a competition for her fans to meet her was also held (similar to what she did with Japan). Winners were announced - but where is Lady Gaga? It’s almost March now!


It seems these poor fans will only get to meet her once her official tour gets there. Bye-bye promo tour!

Gaga surely loves her fans, but she loves her bank account even more. That’s why she decided to cancel a visit to the country(they’re not buying her music, after all). Maybe in the future, if Aussie fans buy tickets to her concert, she’ll go down under. But by then, they might be in jail for vandalism. Who knows?

At least Lady Gaga announced that the prices for her new tour will be more affordable! Oh, wait… 


So tell me, how well do you think her tour will go this time around?

If Australians didn’t buy her album for $9.99, what made them think they will pay around $170.00 for a ticket to see her stumble around and vomit on stage while her vocals keep coming out? The most surprising thing for me is how much her Meet ‘N Greet costs. Something that was FREE in the last tour is now $1500!

In comparison, Miley Cyrus Meet N’ Greet costs $900. Rihanna’s was $800. Justin Beiber’s was $500. All of them have been much more successful than Lady Gaga with their latest musical releases.

By the way, she has only four dates (so far) for her Australian shows. They are:

Wed 20 Aug - Perth Arena, WA
Sat 23 Aug - Rod Laver Arena, VIC
Tue 26 Aug - Brisbane Entertainment Centre, QLD
Sat 30 Aug - Allphones Arena, NSW

Do you think she’ll be able to add other 10 shows (she played 14 concerts there the previous time)?


Canceling promo tours, scheduling less shows, exploiting fans with expensive “meet n’ greet” tickets… You know your career is in big trouble when a market you previously flourished in no longer supports you. 

Australia broke Lady Gaga’s first number 1 single, and now she can’t even top those same charts. 


By Chris Tanasoff and PDLM.

6 notes View comments Tags: video premiere video premiere katy perry dark horse katy patra mariah carey lady gaga flop artflop artpop little monsters prism prismatic prismatic tour bangerz bangerz tour miley cyrus aria australia madonna justify my love gif maya rudolph

Feb 18 '14


Le Figaro, one of the most respected and well-known newspapers in France also talked about Lady Gaga’s severe decline, her concert tour downgrade, and the artFLOP failure:

[thanks Amanda for the submission]

imageUnder the title "From the Stade de France to the Zenith, the article exposes the decline of Lady Gaga’s fame and popularity, having played to 70,000 people two years ago at France’s biggest stadium, to booking only two nights at a small arena this year (the Zenith’s maximum capacity is 6,000 people). The article says: 

Have Lady Gaga’s delusions of grandeur stopped? The American diva’s tour artrave will come to the Zenith in Paris on October 30 and 31. A venue that can accommodate about 6’000 people. Two years ago, she gathered 70,617 spectators at the Stade de France, the largest space dedicated to such events in France. A disappointment that generates several questions about the popularity of the artist.

In the career of international stars like Lady Gaga, their first visit to France usually happen in venues the size of Zenith Paris and the Palais Omnisport de Bercy (17,000 seats), then, they move on the Saint-Denis complex. The logic is that the musicians who have tasted the Dionysian arenas are then taken to perform in bigger stages, as is the case of Eminem and Bruce Springsteen. But rather than climb up these steps one by one, the Poker Face singer is tumbling down the stairs.

Live Nation, the tour promoter, has surely seen its ambitions down the toilet after the commercial failure of the ARTPOP album, released on November 11. The record label accumulated a loss of US $25 million in a promotional campaign too expensive for the album’s poor sales: the record has sold 1.5 million copies, against 8,000,000 for the previous, “Born This Way.” A decline of public interest that goes along the little critical acclaim its artistic content has received.

Bercy also too ambitious

Choosing to perform at the Zenith can be seen as a strategic move by the tour promoters. Instead of having the Stade de France half empty (like it happened to Prince and Paul McCartney), it’s better to sell out the Zenith twice, leaving some fans outside, unable to buy tickets. In terms of public image, this avoids any damage. Lady Gaga can always argue that she chose to play in small arenas to be closer to her fans. In financial terms, the maneuver is, however, not as profitable. Despite the decrease in revenues from the ticket sales, she still needs to pay off the logistical expenses, the overhead resulting from spending two days in the same city as an artist.

If “Mother Monster” continues to see her downgrade at this rate, what can we expect for her next tour? Lady Gaga may have to consider a benefit acoustic concert in small rooms like the Bataclan or the Trianon. Disturbing.

At least her little monsters can learn something from this experience:  do not bite more than you can chew, kids!

The lack of interest in Lady Gaga can also be felt in the USA (where she cannot sell out concerts either).

Last night, the queen of flops made an appearance on the Jimmy Fallon show (which was well publicized before hand). That was her first TV appearance in 2014. One would think she would have caused a frantic reaction in the media (especially on Twitter, since she has over 40 million followers).

Oh, well, that did not happen! Instead, Will Smith’s appearance (on the same show) became a worldwide Twitter trend [click to enlarge]:


Do I smell another flop?

Lady Gaga will be back on Jimmy Fallon tonight to perform her latest single, G.U.Y. (you know you’re seriously desperate when you need to make two consecutive appearances on the same show). So make sure you do not watch it tonight. Change the channel to any other station - do not torture yourselves, folks!

Anyway, the desperate singer has already filmed the video for her next flop and everything. Looks “great.” Very “artistic.” I’m sure little monsters will love it. Take a look:

I heard Lady Gaga chose to film the video at the Hearst Castle, because the it is supposed to be a continuation to “Telephone.” The architecture is said to be similar. Too bad neither I, nor the rest of the world is interested anymore.

But let’s look at the bright side, so few people bought her album #artFLOP, barely anyone has heard how bad this G.U.Y song is. She still has a chance of making it a hit! Get ready for half a dozen TV performances on American TV. Any bets?

23 notes View comments Tags: flopwatch2014 flop artflop lady gaga mother monster le figaro artpop will smith jimmy fallon guy g.u.y. girl under you hearst castle flop watch flop watch 2014

Feb 14 '14
#HappyValentinesDay everybody! But please be careful. Put a rubber on your willy if you’re banging your valentine today. We don’t need more Lady Gagas or little monsters in this world. Thank you.

#HappyValentinesDay everybody! But please be careful. Put a rubber on your willy if you’re banging your valentine today. We don’t need more Lady Gagas or little monsters in this world. Thank you.

21 notes View comments Tags: happyvalentinesday