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Paws Down Lil' Monsters

The worst and the best of pop in one place.
Jun 24 '14

LAUGHING STOCK

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CLAIMS OF “SOLD OUT” SHOWS ARE FUNNIER THAN LADY GAGA’S LOOKS

We understand the uncontrollable laughter that Lady Gaga’s looks can cause in a human being. But now, even her tour official numbers - and the claims that it’s been “sold out” - are a laughing matter!

Why?

Because the evidence of her decline is numeric. It’s a fact. It’s not an opinion. And she’s only been around for about six years.

At the same stage of her career, Madonna was having several #1 hits, several of them became classic pop tunes, and her tours were increasing in number and size. Needless to say, at this stage, Lady Gaga is going the opposite way.

I don’t even need to compare Gaga’s tour numbers to Madonna’s to show how inferior the Madonna-wannabe is. We can compare Gaga’s current tour numbers to her own past US tour dates to prove her decline.

Let alone selling only 258,000 copies of her latest album in the US (a steep decline from the previous album). Gaga’s decline is undeniable on the road as well:

Here is a side by side comparison between Gaga’s current tour and her last completed US tour (using 2008/2009 numbers):

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Something is wrong with this current “sold out” tour. You see, Gaga’s been playing in the same cities, the venues have mostly been the same. The numbers are way different: either in attendance, or in revenue, and I don’t know what’s more embarrassing.

Sometimes, the discrepancy between the number of people in the audience go as high as around 2,000 people (compared to the previous tour). Sometimes, the number of people is virtually equal, but then, the current revenue is way below than before.

In other words: Lady Gaga is selling less albums, selling less singles, and selling less concert tickets, even though they’re cheaper than before.

[Scroll down for more]

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REDUCTIVE

When we say Madonna could not have used a better word to define the comparisons between her work and Lady Gaga’s (she said it was “Reductive”), we are not exaggerating.  Here’s another evidence of Gaga’s reductiveness:

On top: Madonna’s Instagram post of an original painting by Tamara de Lempicka that she owns. She bought it with her Like A Virgin money back in the 80s. At the bottom, Lady Gaga’s Instagram post of a Van Gogh postcard book.

Is anyone surprised Lady Gaga’s post (weeks after Madonna’s) is of a book of reproductions? Copies of the real deal?

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And just because…

Thanks to Mallala Silva and Lady-Desperate for the contribution.

20 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga asia artrave artpop tour numbers monster ball flop comparison vinvent van gogh van gogh tamara de lempicka Madonna reductive original copy

Jun 19 '14

ARTGRAVE ARTFLOP BALL FOR DUMMIES

MAJOR FLOP

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Official numbers for Lady Gaga’s tour are out and all they do is prove that the Madonna-wannabe is far from being the Queen of Pop:

You can sum up Lady Gaga’s artGRAVE artFLOP Ball’s first 14 shows and they barely surpass Madonna’s TWO shows at Yankee Stadium with the MDNA Tour.

It’s embarrassing! Why does she even try? Why do her fans even try to argue Madonna fans? I just don’t understand. Maybe they are all masochistic, who knows?

The embarassment is of enormous proportions. You see, if we travel back in time and get numbers from Madonna’s old tours, she still kicks Lady Gaga’s ass:

Take Madonna’s previous tour’s performances in NYC, for example. New York, Gaga’s home town. Madonna performed FOUR (4) shows at the Garden with the Sticky & Sweet Tour. Total amount of people there? 61,586. That means average 15,396.5 people per show. That’s more than 1,000 people (and a half) than Lady Gaga’s only show in her hometown. And it’s not like “we are living in the past,” because Madonna’s latest tour in NYC was even bigger (as seen above, at Yankee Stadium). As for Gaga, it gets even more embarrassing! 

Madonna’s concerts at the Garden were all with assigned floor seats, Lady Gaga’s (only show) was general admission. As we all know, assigned seats means less people in the crowd, since the chairs take more space, you need to delimit aisles between seats, group them in sections, etc. In other words: you lose a lot of space with assigned seats, the same area holds less people than general admission.

Still, Madonna’s S&S shows at the Garden averaged 15,396.5 people per show. Lady Gaga had only 14,326 there. “Sold out” they say. Except that that means Gaga had 1,070.5 less people than Madonna, in the same venue, with more space for the crowd in the general admission floor. 

Lady Gaga fans are so desperate for validation, that they are, now, using the past to argue (and worst: they are using wrong information):

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For those who don’t know, in four albums (3 full records + one EP), Lady Gaga has published TWO songs written by herself (“Speechless” and “You and I”). Madonna’s first album alone came with FIVE songs completely written by the Queen of Pop.  There’s no comparison.

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33 notes View comments Tags: artpop artrave lady gaga madonna mdna tour mdna Sticky and sweet tour s&s artgrave grave artflop flop billboard numbers

Jun 16 '14

COPYCAT ALERT

GAGA DOES AQUAAEROBIKA

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Madonna, Nina Hagen, The Psychic Twins… Lady Gaga’s list of victims keeps getting longer and longer. Her latest victim?

Russian performance artist Sasha Frolova, who has a project uniting art-performance and electronic music named “Aquaaerobika.”

According to Aquaaerobika's description, Frolova presents herself in the show in an "animated style image of silicone blonde, universal superwoman from the future with ultra-abilities. The plot of the show is endless computer game in which the main character travels through parallel worlds of future and talks about her feelings, dreams, love and hope of finding it all. Electro-pop, 8bit, disco-house and avant-garde sometimes quite abstract texts are mixed with a vivid spectacular performance based on images of postmodernism."

Sounds familiar?

Well, folks, that’s how unoriginal Lady Gaga is. Even Lady Gaga’s dancers’s outfits are a rip-off:

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Stefani Germanotta’s pathetic fans are quick on the trigger of the lame excuses gun. They’re now saying “she’s inspired by raves.” 

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"Of course she would wear rave inspired clothing."

Except that she’s NOT just wearing “rave inspired clothing.” She’s wearing AQUAAEROBIKA's rave inspired clothing. It's very specific. It’s very direct. It’s very obvious. And it’s undeniable.

Besides, what happened to the "I’m inspired by no one" statement that Gaga made about not taking visual inspirations from anyone?

Down the toilet - just like her career.

But the best part is when her fans insist she doesn’t copy, or get inspired by anyone:

"lady gaga designs her own clothes and then gets somebody to make them for her, this is haute couture it means its a one off, theres not a replica and its not available to any1 else" (sic). yeah, we can see that.

The funniest part of it all is that Aquaaerobika's performances are way better and less amateurish than Gaga's (and she's the one who's had years of practice in front of huge crowds):

Note: Aquaaerobika’s project reminds me of performance artist Pandemonia, which we mentioned back in March 16, 2012 (click here).

Extra:

That WTF moment that only Lady Gaga delivers:

23 notes View comments Tags: aquaaerobika lady gaga copycat reductive ripoff rip off unoriginal wtf Sasha Frolova

Jun 13 '14

THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING

MADONNA TOPS MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMEN LIST

Did anyone think it would ever be different?

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According to a new analysis of online information database Wikipedia, Madonna has beaten the likes of Queen Elizabeth and Mary Mother of Jesus to be crowned the most influential female figure in history.

Not even the head of the Commonwealth nations and the Mother of Christ, could match the Queen of pop, reports EVOKE.

Here’s how the top 10 most influential women list goes:

1. Madonna

2. Queen Elizabeth II

3. Mary Mother of Jesus

4. Queen Victoria

5. Agatha Christie

6. Mariah Carey

7. Britney Spears

8. Margaret Thatcher

9. Martina Navratilova

10. Elizabeth the 1st

But you know she’s that influential when, during the 2014 FIFA World Cup opening ceremony in Brazil, instead of a soccer ball take the center stage, it is Madonna’s Confessions On A Dance Floor-esque ball that steals the show: 

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[Scroll down to leave your comments]

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Speaking on influence, Katy Perry's 2010 album, Teenage Dream, still takes a higher position on the Billboard charts than Lady Gaga's less-than-a-year old artFLOP. In fact, Gaga’s album was completely off of the top 200 until this week, when it barely re-entered the chart:

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Speaking of Katy Perry, she has just surpassed Lady Gaga on Billboard’s “dance” chart as well. Soon, there won’t be anything left for Lady Gaga fans to boast about.

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[Scroll down to leave your comments]

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INFLUENCE

You can still feel Madonna’s influence through Lady Gaga’s work and looks.

Here’s an image of Madonna from last month, and this is Lady Gaga this week:

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Bitch is still trying to look like royalty. But all I think of when I look at her is:

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[Scroll down to leave your comments]

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THE SILENCE OF BILLBOARD

MARIAH CAREY FLOPS EVEN HARDER

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As you know, Mariah Carey’s comeback album was an utterly ugly failure. Last week, she debuted her long-waited album with disastrous 58,000 copies sold.

This week, the elusive and flopping chanteuse sold less than 15,000 copies of the album - and this is its second week!

The exact numbers, however, we don’t know, as Billboard doesn’t want to reveal them. But this means Mariah Carey’s second week sales drop is between 75% and 85%. She might as well have surpassed Lady Gaga and Madonna with the biggest second week sales drop.

The difference is that Madonna (and even Lady Gaga) had sold “a lot” of albums in their first weeks (mainly because of pre-orders), when they suffered a steep decline on sales in their second weeks. But Mariah Carey’s new album already had low sales in its first week, so this sharp decline on sales is even more embarrassing.

31 notes View comments Tags: Madonna influential most influential wikipedia fifa world cup fifa world cup 2014 brazil Confessions on a Dance Floor confessions tour katy perry lady gaga teenage dream artpop artflop artrave mariah carey flop embarrassing influence most wanted dance dance charts

Jun 5 '14

I’LL “STAN” BY YOU…

MARIAH CAREY FLOPS

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Mariah Carey’s new album (its name is unimportant and irrelevant) flopped harder than Lady Gaga’s #artFLOP. It sold only 58,000 copies in its first week according to Nielsen SoundScan. 

Carey has been postponing this album for a long time. She kept trying out different “first” singles over the years, one after the other, but every time they failed to become “hits,” she would postpone the full length album.

Well, now that it is finally out, no one wants to buy it. She moved only 58,000 copies after an intense promotional campaign that included TV, radio and printed press. That’s a lot worse than Lady Gaga’s 258,000 copies off of artFLOP.

Did I mention Mariah Carey was a judge on American idol? Not even that helped! Not even Billboard understood how Mariah Carey would debut with such low numbers after a big promotional campaign:

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[Love this guy up there].

I think Lady Gaga and Mariah Carey should collaborate. They should ask a professional songwriter to write a song named “Sorry.” Or maybe, just cover the Beatles’ “Help.”

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You do not fuck with the queen, mother fuckers. These bitches don’t learn. Just take a good look at history:

Cyndi Lauper, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey… they all have publicly dissed Madonna for no reason. Where are they now? 

#karma

One thing is for sure: some albums sell more than others, that’s normal. That’s life.

What is not normal, is a singer like Mariah Carey, who lies about being "the most successful female singer of all times," and who promoted her latest album traditionally on TV and radio, to sell ONLY 58,000 copies in its first week. That is a MAJOR DECLINE.

Another MAJOR DECLINE that is not normal, is a popstar like Gaga, whose fans claim her to be the new Madonna, to drop from debuting an album with sales over 1 million copies to 258,000 (in only 5 years of existence). 

Madonna's next album is said to be released by surprise, on iTunes, just like Beyonce did. So you can expect another decline in sales. I do. But in this case, I’d accept it gladly, because Madonna will be taking a risk. She’s not trying out singles and postponing her album when they flop (like Mariah has been doing for years).

Why do I expect a decline? Because Madonna’s demographics are older - they buy CDs - physical CDs. They also buy digital music on iTunes, but her core demographics, her main fans, still go to stores and buy CDs.  Releasing a digital surprise album will not achieve as much success as Beyonce did (in the US). And we are all prepared for that.

Sales decline derived from a specific promotional campaign is one thing, sales decline derived from the general public uninterested in your work is another.

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SOMETHINGS NEVER CHANGE

While album sales fluctuate, there are things in this world that always remain the same. One of them is the fact that Lady Gaga is reductive and unoriginal.

Spot the difference:

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Remember SHADOWS AND FOG? A film directed by Woody Allen and starred by Mia FarrowJohn MalkovichJohn CusackMadonna and a bunch of other artists?

Lady Gaga must have watched it while recovering from her “bronchitis:”

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[Thanks Bibian Harrison for pointing that out].

16 notes View comments Tags: mariah carey lady gaga lambs the silence of the lambs little monster madonna UnapologeticBitch unapologetic bitch shadows and fog woody allen mia farrow john malkovich john cusack karma

Jun 4 '14

I know, I’ve been away for a while, but I have been traveling a lot. So, to make things up to you, here are a few funny Gaga moments and jokes:

1) Remembering when the so-very-intelligent and artistic Lady Gaga said her seashells adorned look with voluminous hair was inspired by “Venus de Milo." Yes, Venus de Milo. Not the Venus from the "Birth of Venus" by Botticelli. I guess she thinks they were stylistically represented the same way.

Video of her knowledgeable statement here.

2) A conclusion that Gaga is, after all, the personification of VENUS DE MORON.

3) Lady Gaga is preparing a new album as we speak. Get ready for shARTPOop #2 , guys!

PS: there are so many puns here, I don’t think her fan-base will get it.

Rumor has it that she recorded a duet with Britney Spears and will release it the same week Madonna releases her new single. Obsessed, I’d say.

4) Lady Gaga was seen at a fast-food chain all by herself.

She was contemplating her future. The poor thing! Her night wasn’t going as well as she had planned. But, at least, she left the place with a new job application!

5) A representation of what Lady Gaga really thinks of the gays.

10 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga artrave artpop gif funny artflop flop joke jokes venus venus de milo venus de moron the birth of venus botticelli art

May 29 '14

EXCUSES, EXCUSES…

LADY GAGA FANS STILL IN DENIAL

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Despite all the empirical evidence that Lady Gaga’s tour is a bonafide flop, her fans are doing the best they can to convince themselves that she is the “Queen of Pop.”

So in honor of their pathological state of denial, we have compiled a few of the many facts about Lady Gaga’s slow death on the road, and some of the lamest excuses her fans have created for Miss Germanotta’s failures:

1) Less than 24 hours before the debut of Lady Gaga’s world tour, we reported that there were tickets available for almost very section in the arena on its opening night! Worrisome and embarrassing:

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[Click on image to go to the article we wrote about it].

2) Then, there was that disastrous Detroit show - where the local press did not hide the fact that Gaga was dull and the arena had plenty of empty seats (click here to remember).

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3) Then, there were those images - captured by her own fans - showing a far from “sold out” crowd during her shows:

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4) Then, there were the videos - all showing how empty her shows have been:

5) Then, NBC NEWS revealed that Gaga’s ticket sales are low:
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6) Then, the Calgary Herald called Lady Gaga’s show: 

A joyless and desperate attempt to hold on. And to catch up. Unfocussed, horribly paced, haphazardly staged, an obscene neon-coloured visual mess, the Show was a disappointment on almost every level.

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And when you think Lady Gaga fans could not be more pathetic, they deny all these FACTS (captured in pictures, videos, and numbers), and spread the lamest excuse ever as to why her shows are, ahem, seem" to be empty:

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According to little monsters, or as I like to call them, little morons, Lady Gaga’s floor seems to be empty because there is a “yellow line for crowd control and security.

This is very funny, considering that every other successful female musician (the ones with real sold out shows, like Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry) have people filling up every inch of an arena all the way to their soundboards: the front, the sides, and sometimes, even the back.

Don’t believe me? Check this picture of a Miley Cyrus concert, where you can see that there are people filling up every space around her soundboard:

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Well, now, little monsters want you to believe that there isn’t anybody near Lady Gaga’s soundboard because of “security issues.” Weak! They’d better come up with another excuse, because the “yellow line” one won’t work, and here’s why:

The problem isn’t just the soundboard area. The problem is that it is empty even around the stage’s runways!

Check out these pictures - you can see that it’s empty inside and outside her “artFLOP zone” too:

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And just in case you need more evidence that Lady Gaga is having a hard time selling tickets, check these other pictures: they are all from different angles. You can see a huge empty spot along the very same platforms Lady Gaga performs most of her songs:

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If these are not enough to show you how lame and pathetic the excuses Gaga fans come up with, let’s take a look at her tour’s official stage design, revealed by Lady Gaga herself a few months ago.

Below, you can see that even Lady Gaga (and her team of designers) designed this stage expecting her audience to take over all the floor space available (including underneath its transparent platforms). As we know damn well, that’s not happening:

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It turns out, Lady Gaga is having such a hard time selling tickets (on Ticketmaster and on StubHub), that she doesn’t even have enough people around her stage- much less around her soundboard!

As several media outlets have pointed out this week, her 15 minutes of fame are up. She is desperately trying to hold on to a star status she no longer has.

Mark my words: Lady Gaga will be either canceling or downgrading more shows very soon.

51 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga flop madonna unapologetic bitch UnapologeticBitch artrave artpop artflop excuses lame excuses excuses for dummies for dummies

May 28 '14

MEGAPOST WEDNESDAY:

LET THE CANCELING SEASON BEGIN

Lady Gaga just canceled two shows, which she said will be rescheduled. But I wonder if by “reschedule" she meant "I’ll be back on my next tour.

You know, because this bitch is so delusional, she thinks she has “rescheduled” the Flop This Wall Ball shows she canceled back in 2011 to 2014 as the artFLOP Ball.

Isn’t that funny?

First, StubHub’s director told NBC News they couldn’t move Lady Gaga tickets in Seattle (see below).

Then, Lady Gaga “got sick” and “canceled” that same show (along with the one in Vancouver).

Lady Gaga surely knows the right moment to “get sick,” don’t you think?

LADY GAGA’S TOUR IS A FAILURE

It seems like shit has hit the fan for Lady Gaga (pun intended), and the media is finally exposing her flopping tour

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There’s no denial anymore, folks. It’s a fact:

NBC News interviewed StubHub's president who confirmed that Lady Gaga tickets aren’t even on the top 10 best sellers. "Is Lady Gaga’s 15 minutes of fame over?" they asked.

Under the headline "They’re Not Going Gaga over Lady Gaga! Tour Ticket Sales Slump," NBC News stated that:

If demand for tickets is any indication, there may not be enough little monsters out there to save the singer’s tour.

Tickets for Gaga’s current tour have surprisingly not broken into the top-10 list of StubHub’s most popular events, the president of the eBay-owned ticket broker said on Wednesday.

"One Direction is still in the top 10 for concerts on StubHub but Lady Gaga is not, and that’s a little bit surprising this year. Even though she’s touring and generally doing a lot of concerts she’s not in our top 10 this year," Chris Tsakalakis said in a "Squawk Box" interview on CNBC.

This is not a surprise to us at all. But I am glad people are talking about it.

Make sure you visit all the pages that are talking about Gaga’s failure, if you could leave comments on them, make sure you do that too. The more traffic (readers and clicks) these articles get, the more likely it is they will continue writing about it. Here are some websites that have talked about it: NBC News and Breaking News USA.

It’s up to us to show them that we want the truth to be printed.

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CONCERT REVIEW:

LADY GAGA LACKS SHOW-MANSHIP

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That’s what the Calgary Herald had to say about Lady Gaga’s flopping tour. And that was not all:

Kudos to journalist Mike Bell who was not afraid to tell it like is:

A testament to how far she’s fallen off the pop culture and pop music radar in the past two years. It’s as if she’s used up her Warholian allotted 15 minutes of fame in record time. (…) Gaga’s Show Sunday night at the Saddledome,  seemed like a joyless and desperate attempt to hold on. And to catch up. (…) Unfocussed, horribly paced, haphazardly staged, an obscene neon-coloured visual mess, the Show was a disappointment on almost every level. 

She took the stage — a semi-interesting, Seussian, marshmallow-like concoction that weakly echoed Katy Perry’s Candyland set. (…) It wasn’t a Show-stopper, nor a Show-starter, merely a number unconnected to anything, let alone the audience of (insert eyeroll) Little Monsters.

The rest of the evening featured the same, songs such as G.U.Y., Venus, the watered-down Madonna track Paparazzi (ironic subject for someone whose entire career has been fed by that, yet also someone who wouldn’t even allow photogs into her show), a terrible take on Poker Face, Do What U Want, Sexxx Dreams, Mary Jane Holland and Bad Romance, which were accompanied by dancers either prancing Glee-like or holding balloons, a light show that was bright and nothing more, an endless stream of confetti, and a band that was so nondescript as to be unnecessary.

Mike Bell was not kidding, and he was competent enough to even mention Lady Gaga’s opening acts, including talentless nobody Lady Starlight:

 (…) someone who is utterly unremarkable at what she does and whose 40-plus minutes onstage seemed as if they were meant to fill time and reward a friend, not get an audience going or invested in an evening.

To summarize, he finished with: "It wasn’t worthy of a club. And less worthy of a Show. Which is what we were promised and what everyone expected."

We could not have said it better.

Read their full review on here.

18 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga madonna nbc news nbc flop artflop artrave concert stubhub ticketmaster failure lady starlight calgary calgary herald review concert review mike bell rocco rocco ritchie rocco ciccone Madonna time magazine time magazine

May 28 '14

ASK ROCCO:

TIME MAGAZINE

From TIME magazine:

Madonna is way more popular than Lady Gaga!

Every April, TIME publishes a list of the 100 most influential people in the world, drawing on a year’s worth of headlines and the editorial judgment of editors from across the magazine. It’s an unapologetically subjective undertaking; there are no batting averages or on-base percentages when it comes to a slippery subject like influence.

Here are the 100 most obsessed-over people on the web:

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Madonna is at #3, behind Barack Obama and George W. Bush. She’s ahead of any other woman, including Beyonce (#4) and has-been Janet Jackson.

As for Lady Gaga, oh well, the singer, who released a studio album at the end of last year and is amidst a tour in the US appears way far from the top, at #36.

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If you have any doubts about who the one and only Queen is, just ask Rocco:

Speaking of Madonna, I tried to buy her V MAGAZINE today, but I could not find it anywhere. It’s sold out around here.

I left the stores looking like this:

11 notes View comments Tags: Madonna time magazine time lady gaga obsessed famous popular beyonce janet jackson katy perry v magazine britney spears

May 28 '14

CONCERT REVIEW

MORRISSEY

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This Memorial Day weekend I went all the way to ghost town Beaumont, Texas (no offense), to attend the first of three Morrissey concerts I’m scheduled to see this year.

I was ready to endure an hour and a half of boredom, but I was gladly surprised and moved.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Morrissey is one of the most talented lyricists out there, but I was ready to see a boring show - as some of his biggest fans were describing this tour. And I couldn’t disagree more. There was nothing boring about it.

I got to Beaumont the night before the concert. It was a lovely little town, but very weird: there was nobody in there! It literally looked like a ghost town. Very few cars on the streets and even fewer people on the sidewalks. In the downtown area, near the theater Morrissey was playing, several empty buildings. It was an odd choice, considering that Houston isn’t very far away. But the venue Morrissey was playing - the Julie Rogers Theater - was beautiful.

Morrissey started the show with one of my favorite songs of his catalog, Speedway. His voice was strong and powerful last night, and sometimes it brought tears to my eyes.

His setlist included some Smiths’ songs: Hand in Glove, the beautiful Asleep, and Meat is Murder (accompanied by a video of animals being slaughtered for human consumption).

Morrissey also played four new songs from his upcoming studio album (the first one in five years): the title track World Peace is None of Your Business, Istanbul, Earth is the Loneliest Planet and The Bullfighter Dies.

Classics like How Soon Is Now and Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before did not make the cut this time. But considering how Morrissey changes his setlist along the way, I wouldn’t be surprised if he added these songs in future shows.

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Morrissey was charming and on point, like a true music legend. AT one point, he passed his microphone to a few fans in front of the stage to hear what they had to say, which was cool.

As usual, stage invaders were present in that show (this has been going on in his concerts since the 80s):

I have a love-hate relationship with Morrissey. I think he’s too arrogant at times, and I think he is too extremist. However, no one can deny his talents, and his concert was everything you expect from a true artist - which you don’t see a lot these days. If you have the chance to see him on the road, go ahead and do it! You never know when these legends will retire!

But if you have no idea of who Morrissey is, you can start by checking out Miley Cyrus’ cover of one of his songs (with The Smiths) on Youtube. The singer has been covering one of my favorite songs of all time: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, which is, yet again, another reason to love Miley. 

9 notes View comments Tags: concert review concert review morrissey the smiths beaumont texas beaumont texas TX miley cyrus cover

May 21 '14

WINNERS AND LOSERS

Give me an E!

Give me an M!

Give me a P!

Give me a T and a Y!

What does that spell?

EMPTY!

Another day, another far from sold out show by Lady Gaga. Make sure you spread these videos everywhere - do not let this go by unnoticed. Gaga is flopping harder and faster than ever and part of the main stream media is turning their blind eye to it.

What lame excuses will little monsters give for this one?

Oh, wait, there is no excuse for it. So they are just trying to cover it up:

please take down these videos now please and the others u have from this postion of recording . they are representing the show as being empty. plus gaga hate sites suh as put your paws down are using these videos to show that the show isnt doing well. u are obviously a fan of gaga but take them down so the haters dont c how little people was on the floor of the show

Bwahahaha!

SAINT CHER

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Last week I went to see Cher live, and despite not being a big fan, I enjoyed the show very much. 

I confess the only album of hers I ever owned was BELIEVE (1998). But the reasons I decided to go to her show were: a) she is a legend; b) I don’t think she will be doing this again, and c) Cyndi Lauper was the opening act (so that sealed the deal).

Anyways, I am glad I saw Cher’s show. If this truly is her last tour (she’s had a farewell tour in the past), now, I get to say I saw her in concert.

So what is there to see at a Cher concert?

CAMPINESS! Cher is extremely campy (what a shocker!). In fact, she crosses the line and turns into tacky. But that is not a problem for her either. After all, she’s Cher. And you don’t get to be Cher if you’re not tasteless. That’s part of the package. You have to deal with it.

Her staging and backdrop videos are good. They were well put together  (unlike her previous two tours). She’s even a vampire in one of them!

Her monologue started a little bit to self-aggrandizing. Cher seems to believe she’s bigger and more important than she actually is. But soon, her monologue took a turn into some sort of stand-up comedy show. Her story about Dr. Pepper was hilarious! Maybe you have to be there to get her sense of humor, and I think I got it.

One problem about her show is that there are far too many interludes. I know… some people will say "She’s 68, give her a break!" But it’s not like she’s dancing or singing live the entire time. But, like I said, her backdrop videos were fine, so that wasn’t a big problem. In fact, take this as just an observation.

Most of her songs were sung over (or under) heavy pre-recorded backtrack. But the couple of ballads she sang completely live were very good. My favorite performances were of classic IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME and BELIEVE. The finale was pretty awesome too: 

Cher came back on stage dressed up like… Mmmm… Madonna? No, not that one - the other Madonna! Well, it seemed like it.  

Anyway, for this last song, Cher hopped onto this platform that brought her around the entire arena, flying over everyone’s heads. It was simple, but it worked really well:

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Another thing I loved was the name of the tour: Dressed To Kill, or simply, D2K. Come on! That is an awesome name for a show! 

In other words, if Cher is coming to a city near you, you should go see her live. Just remember: you don’t get to see a legend everyday. Plus, she was very entertaining and funny.

AND THE WINNER IS…

KATY PERRY!

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Not only did she produce two #1 singles off of her latest record and is traveling the world with a highly successful tour, she is being now introduced, by Madonna, to a world of high class editorials and artistic expression - which we had not seen in her work before.

Good going Madge! You’re choosing your pupils wisely. Katy Perry is a hard working girl who will roll up her sleeves and do the work herself other than riding on other people’s coattails.

I just hope there is a musical collaboration between these two other than this fabulous photoshoot:

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Thanks to Zook for the contribution.

228 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga artrave artflop artpop flop empty empty show video youtube katy perry madonna v magazine vmagazine steven klein cher d2k dressed to kill review live concert review

May 18 '14

MEGAPOST

FLOP THIS WAY - SECOND ACT

GAGA FLOPS IN DETROIT

Lady Gaga’s current tour continues flopping along the way, as reported by several newspapers from Detroit, including the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press.

According to the DN: 

Lady Gaga’s Artrave concert Saturday night at Joe Louis Arena was like a stalled engine that just wouldn’t turn over. It barely even coughed or sputtered, and after an hour and 50 minutes, it flat out died, junk for the scrap heap.

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They went further:

It’s hard to even say what went wrong, but what went right would be a much shorter conversation. The show simply had no spark, and it never got off the ground. It was Gaga’s “Artpop” alright — the kind of pop that occurs when you poke a hole in a balloon.

The Detroit Free Press, however, makes a comparison with the last time Lady Gaga was in town:

She’d last played this venue in January 2010 — one of the earliest arena headlining gigs of her career — just as her pop stock was soaring to the next level. (…) She arrived back at the arena Saturday night in a different sort of career spot. Amid the relatively disappointing showing for “Artpop,” released in the fall, Gaga’s own superstardom has dimmed somewhat, and the smattering of empty seats around the Joe attested to it.

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The DFP also reveled an interesting number, along with the confirmation that there were plenty of empty seats: there were about 13,000 people only at this Lady Gaga show.

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13,000 people at the arena? This is pretty embarrassing, considering that Gaga’s stage is small, the floor is general admission (which means higher capacity than assigned seats), and there is no wasted room with barricades around the stage’s runways/platforms (people can be underneath them). Gaga couldn’t even beat a hockey game! Here’s Joe’s capacity for different events (including concerts):

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No wonder Gaga is back at feeding journalists who go see her show. She can’t win them with her work, she’ll try to win them by the stomach:

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I heard Gaga’s show in Detroit was emptier than her show in Washington D.C., where you could clearly see empty rows of seats and half of her general admission floor empty. In fact, even her “artFLOP Zone” was empty! Check it out:

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The bitch couldn’t survive 5 years at the top of the showbiz… 

Meanwhile, Katy Perry is kicking Lady Gaga’s saggy ass with her PRISMATIC TOUR, which is much more impressive and well produced.

On a related note: I had the opportunity to see Cyndi Lauper and Cher this week. I’ll write about their concerts in the next few days.

Meanwhile, here’s a reason not to go see Lady Gaga -that’s the kind of thing she does on stage:

BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARDS

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Lady Gaga was snubbed at the 2014 Billboard Awards. No one showed any interest in having her at the ceremony this year.

"She’s on tour" say little monsters desperately trying to justify Lady Gaga’s absence from the award show.

But Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry are both on tour too! Overseas! And they still were invited to be in the ceremony via satellite because of their enormous popularity. Not Lady Gaga, who’s performing to half empty arenas around the corner in the US.

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It must suck to be Gaga these days! Her album flopped, her tour is flopping, and not even award shows are inviting her to have her songs performed anymore.

I tried to feel sorry for Lady Gaga, but I just can’t. She doesn’t deserve pity. 

MADONNA AND KATY PERRY

A few weeks ago, Katy Perry tweeted Madonna a message that said "I’m so sore from all those positions." Well, now, we know what that was about: the two artists were photographed together for V Magazine.

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The photographies seem to be fabulous! I can’t wait to see it all. However, something bothers me about it:

Will Madonna promote her new music at all?

Madonna does not like to flood the market with promotion for her new music. She usually does a couple of magazine covers, and that’s it (as far as printed press go). So I hope her new music gets some printed promotion as well. Remember MDNA?

Madonna did magazine covers in late 2011 early 2012 to promote her movie W.E., but when it was time to promote the album MDNA (2012), she did nothing. Not a single one magazine cover / article about her album.

So I hope this isn’t the direction we are going again. After all, this is Madonna’s second photoshoot in 2014, and so far, we have no idea of when her new music will hit the waves.

If you missed Madonna’s gorgeous and iconic photoshoot for L’Uomo Vogue, here are some of her precious pics:

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33 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga katy perry cyndi lauper cher artpop artrave artflop flop press news detroit washington dc empty megapost post

May 5 '14

Watching Lady Gaga struggling to deliver amateurish dance moves with a chair while half-singing (the other half most of her vocals were pre-recorded) is so embarrassing

Bitch does not learn!

I remember the days that professional dancers and real performers would deliver an impeccable Bob Fosse inspired choreography while singing live!

Oh, well! Once reductive, always reductive.

Meanwhile, as Lady Gaga showed the world last night, Madonna’s Blond Ambition Tour remains one of the most inspiring spectacles ever created by a pop artist. 24 years after, and popstars today are still copying it.

REGURGITATION TOUR

If not being able to dance and sing was Gaga’s only problem, I’d even give her a free pass for delivering such a subpar concert. However, her problems are much bigger that just dancing and lip-syncing.

She’s made a hell lot of money in the past six years, but bitch could not afford a private dance instructor? Watch the video below:

Lady Gaga still can’t dance, still uses tons of pre-recorded vocals, and even her choreography is the same she was doing six years ago. WTF? She didn’t even change the instrumentation of her old hits. For six years, this woman has been performing JUST DANCE the same exact way.

Come to think of it, she might be doing it the “original” way because JUST DANCE and POKER FACE are two of the ONLY THREE #1 HITS she’s ever had (the third and last one was EXPRESS YOURSELF 2011). So I assume she’s just playing sake: she’d better keep doing them the way her fans like them. Let the real artists like Madonna take risks and re-invent their old songs over and over.

And if you think the performance of JUST DANCE was bad, check out Kerli’s Lady Gaga’s performance of BAD ROMANCE! It’s the same shit! Embarrassing!

I honestly believe that, against all odds, Lady Gaga’s skills as a performer have been decreasing with experience/time. 

29 notes View comments Tags: Madonna Keep it together family affair Blond Ambition Tour blond ambition lady gaga copycat unoriginal original reductive like a virgin artrave artpop video

May 3 '14

#SLAY

GODDESS OF FLOP

Lady Gaga must be really happy she’s opening her world tour with a sold out show tomor… oh, wait! 

I just checked Ticket Master (you should to it to, in case you don’t believe me, click here), and as of right now (nearly 11:45 PM, May 3rd), the night before the tour’s opening night, less than 24 hours before showtime, there are plenty of tickets available for Gaga’s show on Ticket Master:

Not even the GA floor tickets are sold out as of now!

#Slay mother moron, slay!

Go to Ticket Master and check it yourselves:

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I’m sure by tomorrow, she’ll be able to “sell out” the venue. Remember:

Gaga’s the queen of the bargain bucket! Tickets are already being discounted. Plus she can always count on her Psycho Bus Fair to distribute unsold tickets for free to whomever walks by (just like they did with her previous tour, before having to cancel the entire thing).

And just in case you’re thinking “Gaga must have put some effort” after all this time and all the recent flops, think again. The artGRAVE artFLOP Ball’s stage set looks cheaper and more amateurish than her styrofoam castle of yore:

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Meanwhile, her latest single, which was restlessly promoted on several TV shows, with televised and streamed performances and interviews, keeps going down the charts. Goddess of flop indeed.

If you think we are the only ones saying Gaga is #flopping because we are “biased,” you’re wrong. Even the local South Florida papers (where she is opening her world tour) are already saying how no one is paying attention to Gaga anymore, emphasizing her delusion of grandeur, and how she isn’t anywhere near where she was three years ago. The Broward-Palm Beach goes:

Like Icarus, Gaga lately seems to be flying too close to the sun, believing her own star is still shining as brightly as it was three years ago, unaware she just might fall into a sea of her own campiness. […]

Now it’s 2014, and Gaga has promised to finally unleash Artpop’s potential on the world. Her tour kicks off here in South Florida and will set the tone for whether Mother Monster remains relevant. But with the underwhelming performance of her latest single “G.U.Y.,” it’s hard to say if anyone’s still listening.

Oops! 

[Thanks to Zook for the contribution].

37 notes View comments Tags: artpop ball artrave artgrave artflop lady gaga ticketmaster fort lauderdale

May 1 '14

BLOND AMBITION

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A very good samaritan took the time to remaster and color correct Madonna’s iconic and epic 1990 Blond Ambition Tour. I can’t even imagine how long it took [them] to do it, but it certainly was a labor of love.

The Blond Ambition Tour received a very limited release in Japan in the (awkward and obsolete) laser disc format, but was never released on DVD in the USA (or anywhere else in the world).

Two other broadcasts have been officially and completely filmed (as far as I know): the one from Nice, France (used for this video), and the one from Barcelona, Spain (which was what made me fall in love with Madonna when I was little).

Madonna’s 1990 Blond Ambition Tour set standards (both technical and artistic) for pop and rock music spectacles that are still being followed and copied today. It is certainly one of the most important and most influential works of a pop artist in the world.

MADONNA WAS ON FIRE! Her energy, her strength, her hunger, her power… ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS!

If you have never seen it, watch it in its entirety while it’s still on YouTube:

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It seems like Warner did not like the fact that the show was put online, so they asked the user to remove the video from public view.

I hope some of you had the chance to watch it! If not, here’s the other broadcast of the show, this time from Barcelona. The video quality is not as great as the previous one, but the magic of the show is still the same:



FIERCE! DIVA! FIERCENESS!

My Kathy Griffin phase is long gone  (that "I’m a bitchy old queen" act got tired three or four years ago), but I could not stop laughing at this video of the comedian telling her reaction when she saw Madonna at the 2014 Grammy’s:

SLAY

Katy Perry’s DARK HORSE is climbing up the Billboard charts again. Meanwhile, Lady Gaga’s latest single is MIA from the charts.

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PDLM.

24 notes View comments Tags: video Madonna Blond Ambition Blond Ambition Tour BAT Nice France queen of pop queen flawless perfection kathy griffin grammys grillz jimmy kimmel