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Paws Down Lil' Monsters

The worst and the best of pop in one place.
Feb 12 '14

GAME: FLOPPY GAGA

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Flappy Bird is a mobile game developed by a guy named Dong Nguyen. The game is very simple: you tap on the screen of your mobile to flap the wings of a pixelated bird to avoid hitting the ground, or the pipes that come along the way. It sounds easy, but it’s very challenging.

It’s become a sensation over the past few weeks, culminating with the game’s creator’s decision to remove the game from app stores around the world. Some say he didn’t like the attention/success, but I smell publicity stunt and big money rolling in.

Anyways… the game was removed from the iTunes app store this week, but several online formats have already surfaced the web. My favorite?

This one here, made by some Brazilian guy, where you can flap Lady Gaga’s tiny little wings as she avoids hitting the biggest obstacle of her career: Madonna.

I just think he should have named it FLOPPY GAGA (hence why I created the image above). Instead, he calls it “Flappy Gaganás" -  that being a play word with "
satanás” (Portuguese for satan) - LOL!

The instructions are in Portuguese, but all you have to do is click on the screen (with your mouse or trackpad) to start the game and flap the animal's wings. When you fail, move your cursor and click on top of Gaganás (Gaga’s head), and it will restart the game.

Oh, the irony! Who would have thought that such a silly game would be an accurate description of Lady Gaga’s failed attempts at surpassing Madonna’s ever successful presence in the world of pop music?

Have fun kids!

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Meanwhile, Madonna shows up to the opening of her Hard Candy Fitness Toronto looking radiant and energetic. 

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In this video, you can see the Queen of Pop (55) dancing her ass off with an injured foot at the opening of her gym. 

Do you think Lady Gaga can do the same at 27? 

Oh! Who am I kidding?

Lady Gaga would be riding a golden wheelchair and writing op-eds to some magazine, telling a deeply sad story about her injury, about how depressed she has been, how the love of her fans mean so much, how she gained weight because of the injury, and how the tedious process of healing herself gave her the opportunity to write incredible artistic songs for her new album.

31 notes View comments Tags: Madonna lady gaga gaganás flappy bird flop artflop floppy gaga game games fun funny irony ironic hard candy fitness toronto hard candy dance

Feb 10 '14

Sold Out?

Lady Gaga’s Not-So-Sold-Out UK Dates

Over the last few days, news that Lady Gaga’s UK concerts had sold out in under 5 minutes has been disseminated on the web under heavy PR assistance.


As usual, her intellectually weak and predictable fan base, the little morons monsters, could not wait to rub this in… 


[That is the same little moron who brilliantly said this about Madonna]

"Lady Gaga sold out in 5 minutes" they say…

"Lady Gaga is slaying" they say…

TICKETMASTER, a primary ticket seller, says Lady Gaga’s tickets sold out sold out in 5 minutes. Cute. 

Guess what was immediately available on Ticketmaster’s secondary sellers on minute 6?

Thousands and thousands of tickets for Gaga’s UK shows on Getmein.com - for double the face value - of course!


You may ask yourselves what “Get Me In" is, right?

Check their website:


“‘GET ME IN!’  A TICKETMASTER COMPANY.” 

Wait!

Didn’t Ticketmaster say her tickets were sold out?



Well, yeah… Here’s how it works:

The primary seller (Ticketmaster) lies about having sold out an artist’s tickets. Then, the same company (using a secondary website) continues selling those tickets (they’re called secondary sellers), but for much more than the face value.

This has become a common practice in ticket selling these days, however, this might not have been a good move to sell Lady Gaga tickets. 

The woman hasn’t had a hit in the UK since 2011. Her latest album and latest singles flopped miserably in the UK. And her tour has already been severely downgraded in comparison with her previous UK tour.

On her previous tour, Lady Gaga played two nights at the Twickenham Stadium in London - with maximum capacity for over 82,000 people. She couldn’t get near the sold out standards then (she got an average 51,000 people a night). This time, so far, she has only two shows scheduled in London, but they will be at the O2 Arena, for maximum capacity of 20,000. A real massive downgrade. 

It’s understandable that her tour promoters would try to get the most money off of her now, a bonafide failing popstar. But this scalping didn’t help her sell out her shows the last time (when she actually had a hit song on the radio), so what  made them think it would work out this time?

Back in 2012, when Lady Gaga visited the UK with the Flop This Way Ball, we exposed TicketMaster and GetMeIn! for scalping her tickets the same way they are doing now (click here). And now, history is repeating itself. And believe me, it will repeat itself on the outcome of Gaga’s tour as well. The best thing about it, is that both Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus are killing her with their tours.

If you’re curious about how shady ticket selling scam has become, watch this documentary (which we also published in 2012):

32 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga flop shady lie lies artscam scam ticketmaster getmein scalping irony ironic ironica madonna ironica madonna

Feb 6 '14

Poll:

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All we know is that Britney Spears fans are not thinking it through. If her song with Gaga (remember her?) flops (like all of Gaga’s recent singles and collaborations), Gaga will blame Britney for her failure - the same way she’s now blaming her entire team for a disastrous 2013.

Speaking of Lady Gaga, her fans (the “little monsters”) are now attacking Miley Cyrus, accusing her of copying Madonna.

Oh, the irony!

Little monsters are so stupid, they don’t even notice they admit Lady Gaga copies Madonna when they do so.

There’s a reason we call them little morons.

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Miley looks gorgeous! G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S —- something Lady Gaga never gets to be (even after massive amounts of make-up and photoshop). She can totally pull off that Hollywood Golden Era look (as well as Madonna can), and still be Miley - adding her spunk to the imagery.

And that is another thing Lady Gaga is an Über failure: she copies people’s imagery, but she doesn’t add anything to it: she has nothing to offer as an artist, or human being.

That must be the reason why Lady Gaga fans are hating Miley Cyrus’s guts. 

That, and the fact that Miley Cyrus has been stating the obvious about mother moron around. Miley pointed out that Cindy Sherman’s #276 was Lady Gaga’s inspiration, little monsters sent her hate messages and threats for it.

#SpreadCompassion

#StopTheDramaStartTheMusic

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The same Cindy Sherman had an exhibition at the MoMA in 1997 supported by whom?

The Queen of Pop herself! 

It all comes down to M - at one point or another.

20 notes View comments Tags: britney spears lady gaga poll miley cyrus irony little monsters little morons Cindy Sherman moma nyc madonna

Jan 29 '14

Don’t Tell Me / We Can’t Stop

Cuz we knew they’d be cute like that…

What was so cool about this Madonna and Miley collaboration?

They both seemed to be having fun - genuinely.

Plus, I loved it how Madonna chose not to have a big diva entrance (which she could have demanded if she wanted to). Instead, she starts her participation from the crowd, as someone who sat quietly, as an observer, until she decides to join the party.

I also love it how Madonna put herself out there with little rehearsal time (we know how she’s a rehearsal freak). The result was a fun, semi-improvised performance (mostly because of Miley). And the mash-up worked really well. I wish I could buy it on iTunes.

9 notes View comments Tags: Madonna Miley Cyrus Donte Tell Me We Cant Stop unplugged MTV MTV unplugged duet mashup video

Jan 29 '14

Madonna Week

M&M Tonight On MTV

Madonna joins Miley for her MTV Unplugged

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Tonight, MTV will air their Miley Cyrus Unplugged special. And what is truly special about this is that the Queen of Pop herself will make an appearance and duet with Miley.

Rumor has it that they both sang a mash-up of Madonna’s 2000 hit Don’t Tell Me and Miley Cyrus’s hit We Can’t Stop.

So don’t you ever tell them to stop. They just can’t. Get ready to stick your tongues out tonight!

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Madonna at the Grammy’s

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Madonna became the most talked-about celebrity on Twitter last Sunday night because of her Grammy performance.

The singer joined Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on stage to sing a few lines of her classic hit Open Your Heart (mashed-up with the duo’s Same Love), while Queen Latifah officialized the marriage of 33 (gay and straight) couples. 

Even before this (now) historic performance, Madonna was already the top trending topic on twitter:

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That’s the power of Madonna. A walk down the red carpet causes a media frenzy - whether you like it or not. And she doesn’t even need to come inside an egg, or riding a fake horse, or wearing a meat (or swan) dress. 

Bringing Human Rights Home

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Madonna also announced that she will attend the Amnesty International - Bringing Human Rights Home concert at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn on February 5th to introduce the Pussy Riot’s performance.

You can get tickets for the event by clicking here.

Guy Oseary Announces New Album

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Madonna’s manager (now U2’s manager as well) ranked at #38 on Billboard Power 100 list this year.

He told the magazine that Madonna is preparing a return to the studio for the follow-up to 2012’s MDNA and added: "She’s eager to get started. We have a lot of great ideas and plans for the future. I’m excited for us to get started soon.”

Fuck yeah, motherfuckers!

In the meantime, Lady Gaga is crying in a corner because she has been ignored by everybody in the music business:

  • No Grammy nominations.
  • She wasn’t even invited to attend the Grammy’s.
  • No one missed her at the wedding ceremony.
  • One Love has already become a bigger "gay anthem" than Flop This Way will ever be. 
  • Her tour still is not selling well in North America.

She must be thinking to herself:

Well, not everything is bad for Gaga, at least R. kelly and Christina Aguilera have their schedule opened to record a song with her…

artSCAM artFLOP Ball

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Lady Gaga’s artSCAM artFLOP Ball European dates have just been announced - and they are the confirmation that Gaga is a has-been.

The venues she will be playing in Europe are mostly arenas and theaters - and not stadiums. I guess her management decided to book smaller venues straight up, instead of having to downgrade them in the near future (which happened the last time she was touring there). There are also the single dates, as opposed to double nights in different cities. Take Paris for example:

With the Flop This Way Ball, Gaga played the Stade de France for an estimated crowd of 70,617 people. Rent might be too high for a big-ass stadium like that. One would think that 70,617 people in the audience covered her overhead. But, nope! Not when your tickets only move when you offer a 70% discount on Groupon

Still in France, back in 2011, Gaga’s show in Nice had been originally scheduled to happen at the Charles-Ehrmann stadium (the same one Madonna had played for 30,000 people a month before). However, due to extremely low ticket sales, Gaga had to transfer her concert to the 9,000-seat theater, Palais Nikaïa, instead.

This time, Gaga’s been scheduled to play at the Zenith, in Paris, with the capacity for 6,293 people. Talk about a downgrade! I hope her stage isn’t very large. You don’t want it to take over the few seats available for the audience.

Same is happening in Dublin, where Gaga’s 2014 concert will happen at a venue with a maximum capacity of less than half of the venue she played there the last time.

In London, Gaga played two nights at the Twickenham Stadium the last time - with capacity for over 82,000 people (she got an average 51,000 people a night with her last tour). This time, so far, she has only one show schedule in London, at the O2 Arena, for maximum capacity of 20,000. Another massive downgrade.

Add to that the fact that her tickets aren’t selling fast enough in North America - where they went on sale on December 9th, 2013! Take Katy Perry, for example: her North American tour dates went on sale a week ago (on January 21), and they moved so fast, that she has already added several new dates around the country (playing more than one night in several cities). Who needs a Grammy when the recognition for your work is seen in the demand for your concert tickets?

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12 notes View comments Tags: Madonna Guy Oseary Miley Cyrus MTV Unplugged MTV unplugged video youtube stupid hoe grammy grammy's macklemore ryan lewis queen latifah wedding lady gaga mary lambert pussy riot katy perry artflop concert tour london nice

Jan 24 '14

Houston, We Have a Problem…

Mothership Loses Contact

Lady Gaga Loses Rapport With Little Monsters 

Desperate to regain a long lost popularity, Lady Gaga decided to support Justin Bieber's drink-and-drive antics expecting his fans would, in return, support her back.

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The outcome?

Lady Gaga got dissed by some of her own fans! It’s a cruel world: no hit singles - no blind followers. No wonder she is taking such desperate measures to regain support from other fan-bases.

"How can I support someone who was driving after drinking and doing drugs, and could have killed an innocent person?" said one fan.

"None of us should support them if we don’t want to. I personally think that for someone that have put other people’s lives in risk by driving drunk, less than one day in prison is not enough (…) you should pay like any other person for your mistakes" said another.

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In case you could not see the letter well enough, here’s what Gaga says:

Hey monsters, I know everyone is taking (sic) about Justin’s arrest and all sorts of words and judgements are happening on the Internet. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and to stand up for themselves, but I think we should be supportive of Beilebers. They deserve, just like any other fan, to feel strong support for each other and Justin so they can continue to share the bond they have through music. We may not understand everything celebrities do because there’s only so much we see, but Justin and Beliebers were ‘born this way’ too. Let’s spread love and compassion to Beliebers today. That is what we are all about. Can you trend #MonstersSupportBeliebers ?

How desperate and exploitive can this girl be?

Lady Gaga is nothing but a fixture of ridicule in this day and age.

And worse: she’s wrong. She is dead wrong (and she knows it). But I guess she doesn’t care: 

Lady Gaga will do anything to gain support (from anyone), and that includes supporting criminal activity, and excusing celebrities for breaking the law.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion” - yes, Lady Gaga is right. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And my opinion is that she is a fucking moron.

I also think she needs to learn the difference between an opinion and a fact (she and her fans have that in common): Justin Bieber broke the law - that’s not an opinion, that’s a fact. And here are some more facts:

Bieber was driving with an expired license, which is against the law (not an opinion). He admitted he was smoking marijuana, taking prescription medication and drinking (at 19). All these activities were unlawful in his case. He was driving 55-60 MPH on a 30 MPH residential street (which is also against the law, not against someone’s opinion). He also resisted arrest and was uncooperative with the police officers — but Gaga thinks he needs to be supported unconditionally because he was “born this way” too. 

But she didn’t stop there! Exploiting someone else’s (unwanted) media attention for her self-quotations was not the lowest and most desperate moment of her letter. It was when she excused and suggested that a celebrity (like Justin Bieber) who, in one night alone, committed several offenses, should not be judged because we don’t see the whole picture:

"We may not understand everything celebrities do because there’s only so much we see" she said.

Lady Gaga, please, do yourself (and ourselves) a favor: FUCK OFF!

You are a whiny, desperate, ignorant, untalented, coke whore, who thinks  celebrities are above the law and deserve special treatment because you’re famous.

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What is even more sickening about this, is that Lady Gaga thinks that Beliebers are stupid (oh, well…).  Her concert ticket sales are at the lowest  since she first came out onto the music scene. She is in desperate need of people to buy tickets for the artFLOP Ball and fill up the empty arenas she’ll be playing in very soon.

She’s already jumped on the OneDirection bandwagon, then ditched them like used toilet paper when attaching herself to them didn’t increase artFLOP's sales or help Applause become a hit. Now she’s trying to use Bieber fans for her own gain again - thinking they are stupid enough to not see her game. 


81 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga justin bieber dui desperate free bieber onedirection one direction 1d

Jan 23 '14

#FlopWatch2014

Lady Gaga Can’t Sell Tickets

But Katy Perry Keeps On Adding New Dates

Lady Gaga is having a hard time selling tickets for her comeback tour,  artSCAM: The artFLOP Ball. Gaga’s tour tickets went on sale last year (sales started on December 9th), but so far, her tour has stalled at 29 dates in North America (with only five being reported “sold out”). 

On the other hand, it was only last week (on January 15th) that Katy Perry announced her 46-city dates in North American with her PRISMATIC TOUR. Ticket pre-sale for Katy’s shows started only two days ago (on January 21st), and how are they doing?

Katy Perry’s tickets are moving so fast, that they have already added second shows to many cities (something Lady Gaga could not do in over a month and a half), totalizing 55 shows in North America:

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I wonder what excuse Lady Gaga’s team will give now that her comeback tour is doing even worse than the last time around (when she had to announce a hip injury to be able to cancel the remaining 22 shows - which had only 50% of the tickets sold).

Last year, Katy Perry not only prevented Lady Gaga from reaching the top of the charts with Roar, but even her promotional single, Dark Horse, is more successful than the singles off of Gaga’s terrible album, artFLOP.

In fact, “Dark Horse” performed so well on the radio (despite being just a promo single), that Katy’s team decided to make it into an official single now. 

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[Seating chart at the 2014 Grammy’s]

Rumor has it that MADONNA will be a surprise performer at the Grammy’s this Sunday. Some people say she’ll perform with Beyonce, other say Nicki Minaj. My guess is Katy Perry. Why?

Katy Perry has united Madonna on her ART FOR FREEDOM project this month - where she (Katy) is January’s curator. I would think Katy Perry would have asked Madonna to perform with her at the Grammy’s in exchange of favors, but who knows?

All I know is that if they perform Katy Perry’s DARK HORSE together, the performance would go viral, rocketing the song (which already is #2 on Billboard’s Hot 100) to the top of the chart.

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As for Lady Gaga, the poor thing:

  • She isn’t a hit maker anymore (her last real hit was a song she stole from Madonna, back in 2011).
  • She isn’t an album artist anymore (Adele stole her thunder).
  • She isn’t a radio artist anymore (when you have to buy commercial times lots to play your songs and they still don’t become hits, you have a problem).
  • And now, for the second consecutive time, Gaga’s tour is a flop? She definitely isn’t a touring artist anymore. The last time, Madonna kicked Gaga’s saggy ass. And now, Katy Perry (and I bet, Miley Cyrus) too!

Gaga is probably enlisting the services of her dearest friends and collaborators, accused pedophiles Terry Richardson and R. Kelly to help fill the empty arenas she’ll be playing soon:

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RIP Lady Gaga.

24 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga Madonna Katy Perry Miley Cyrus tour tours Prismatic Tour prism dark horse grammys grammy's grammy roar artpop artflop artpop ball artflop ball artrave artscam scam RIP RIP Lady Gaga terry richardson r kelly pedophile flop watch 2014 flopwatch2014

Jan 22 '14

WTF

Is Lady Gaga smoking crack again?

Delusional singer, formerly successful popstar Lady Gaga sent a birthday message to artist Jeff Koons on Twitter. But, as usual, it seems she was having another one of her coke delusions:

"The ARTPOP sculpture u made began a youth artistic renaissance."

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Bwahahahahaha!

Seriously!

She said that the sculpture Jeff Koons made of her began a youth artistic renaissance.

I wonder if by “youth artistic renaissance” she means her own fans vandalized and defaced Jeff Koons’ sculpture she talks about at her own album release party a few months ago:

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"Get clean. Write better lyrics! Spend time alone! Come back with something better. Be happy!" wrote one of her fans on the statue Jeff Koons made for her.

"Youth renaissance" says Lady Gaga.

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[I advise Gaga’s little MORONS to look up the word “deface” to understand this joke. Pun intended.]

Not only the ugly Lady Gaga sculpture was vandalized by Gaga fans at the artFLOP album release party, but other sculptures by Jeff Koons (unrelated to Gaga) were too:

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Let me remind you again, Lady Gaga calls it “youth renaissance.” Jeff Koons must have been thrilled! Once again, Lady Gaga proves herself to be an ignorant, idiotic, moron. Mother Moron, yes, indeed.

That delusional and self-absorbed formerly successful popstar gave us another proof of her delusions of grandeur this week:

Miley Cyrus revealed the promo image for her MTV Unplugged. In the picture, she has fake, ugly teeth on. Lady Gaga, then, assumed Miley was copying her (as she would). So she reacted by tweeting an image of the cover of one of the failed promo singles off of artFLOP with the saying: "Pop culture is my bitch." 

I guess this makes Gaga Britney’s bitch then…

And just because she couldn’t help it, she added "Start the Revolution" to another tweet.

Sounds familiar?

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Lady Gaga doesn’t even try to hide that she’s a Madonna-wannabe anymore.

Remember: Katy Perry is this month’s curator on Madonna’s Art For Freedom / Revolution of Love project. Some people say that Madonna will be performing with Katy Perry at the Grammy’s this weekend. We’ll have to wait and see…

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Speaking of being a Madonna-wannabe:

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1983: Madonna shot by friend (and former roommate), artist Martin Burgoyne for “Burning Up.”

2013: Lady Garbage, I mean, Gaga at the VMAs.

20 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga delusional defaced vandalized jaff koons Madonna wannabe madonna wannabe katy perry art renaissance crack pot cocaine coke drugs fugly ugly ugly gaga sculpture art for freedom revolution of love miley cyrus mtv unplugged

Jan 19 '14

#disnigga

There. I said it too.

Let me just get this straight:

Madonna is now being called a racist because she used the term #disnigga in a positive context. Nigga - the same word that most rappers use in their songs today. But when Lady Gaga posed with two white guys in blackface -while holding them by chains - no one had a problem with it?

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Okay. Got it. Another day, another reason to crucify Madonna and give Lady Gaga a free pass.

FYI: English language is not dead.

Any word in a language that is in current use (unlike Latin) is malleable. Language is constantly evolving, changing. The meaning of words change over time. It also changes from context to context. Contextualization and intentionality are everything (rather than the words themselves). This is NOT AN OPINION, this is a scientific fact. Sociolinguistics, folks! Linguistics is a science, you know that, right?

People who got offended by the term #disnigga in that context, or in this post, go find something better to do with your miserable lives! 

It’s not like Madonna used the real N-word (the one that ends with -er). She used the one that has been socially acceptable in certain contexts for the last 20 years or so (“nigga”). Every time you go out, you hear people / friends talking among themselves and to each other using expressions like “nigga, please!” (even if none of them are African-American). So nigga, please! 

Having said that, I must confess that Madonna’s posts on Instagram sometimes embarrass me as much as a teenager feels embarrassed by her mom’s Facebook status updates.

Madonna can find the cure for cancer, and there still will be people in the media vilifying her for it. They’ve been after her on a witch-hunt for 30 years - but this woman still hasn’t learnt? I am embarrassed by her naiveté. First the picture of her son holding booze, then this? And now an apology? What is she apologizing for? Other people’s ignorance, and racial hang-ups? 

Madonna is definitely living in a bubble. We know, she doesn’t read magazines and shit… but I think she should. She needs a wake-up call. The day she learns the way the media always tries to portray her, she will stop putting herself in these situations. #disnigga here loves Madonna, but woman, wise up! 

17 notes View comments Tags: disnigga Madonna Lady Gaga blackface black face chains wise up nigga please

Jan 14 '14

Madonna and Adele

DO OR DON’T?

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According to the Daily Mail, Madonna is working on a new album and she enlisted Adele to cowrite a few songs with her, with the promise that she would write a song for Adele’s next album in exchange.

Of course, the ever-hating press always finds a way to try to diminish Madonna’s talent as a songwriter - and add their customary ageist remarks as well. So this rumor has been reported along the lines: "Madonna is hanging up her pointy bras and fishnets as she swaps dance music for a ‘grown up’ album of ballads - thanks to Adele."

Thanks to Adele?

Excuse me, but Madonna wrote classic ballads like Live To Tell, Promise To Try, Oh Father way before Adele was even born. And nope, they’re not ballads about being heartbroken because a boyfriend had broken up with her. So let’s think about this “grown up” theme again…

No hate to Adele (I am sure these two could come up with great ballads), but a) the way this rumor has been reported is ridiculous; and b) I don’t believe for a second that this collaboration is happening. 

People reporting this rumor seem to have forgotten that Madonna released a compilation of ballads in 1995 (Something to Remember), which included a few new tracks as well.

After watching a few videos we selected below, I don’t think anyone with half a brain would ever suggest Madonna needs the help of Adele to write a ballad:

Who can ignore the timeless ballad Rain?

So, does Madonna need Adele to write “grown up” ballads?

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Nope! She doesn’t. Thank you very much.

Other ballads that need to be mentioned are Frozen, Easy Ride, X-Static Process, and even I Want You. The latter was not written by Madonna, but it was completely reinvented by her and Massive Attack, who transformed this disco funk anthem recorded by Marvin Gaye into a haunting ballad.

9 notes View comments Tags: Madonna Adele ballad ballads media press rumor

Jan 8 '14

WTF

WTF did I just listen to?

Bill Werde Fired From Billboard

Yes. I am talking about the same Bill Werde I had a public argument with a couple of months ago regarding his obscure and shady ways of helping Lady Gaga enter the Billboard charts, which included:

Counting the viewership of an award show as visualizations of her performance (helping her song chart higher), changing Billboard rules so that her album could be sold for 99 cents and still be eligible for the charts, then changing Billboard rules again so that no one else could pull the same stunt, accepting Gaga’s Youtube/VEVO audio track + lyrics video + official video to be added to the final tally, etc.

Yup! Just like we said before, Bill Werde was an incompetent, unprofessional, shady editorial director that would facilitate the way to the top for his favorite people - like Gaga. What he got in exchange for that, we will never know. He’s been fired now.

I am happy Guggenheim media finally understood how Bill Werde was damaging Billboard’s reputation by giving special treatment to people like Lady Gaga.

We can only hope the magazine’s new editorial director, Janice Min, is a good professional and won’t sell hers and the magazine’s soul and dignity for people like Stefani Germanotta. We don’t need another little moron on the work force. All they do is tarnish reputations and cheat their way to the top.

14 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga little monsters little monster audio video bill werde janice min billboard

Jan 6 '14

POKER FACE

Lady Gaga Lies and Blames Former Manager for ARTPOP Failure

Some people are calling it a “meltdown” (even I did, earlier on twitter). But when you think about it, this is Lady Gaga doing what she knows best: playing the victim, blaming other people for her bad music, bad videos, and bad choices, and boasting the egos of her idiotic fans (does she think they will each go out and buy ARTFLOP again every time she says she believes in them?).

2014 barely started, and here comes Lady Gaga setting the tone for a new year. Her new motto is “Poor me. People betrayed me. They left me alone and I have to do it all by myself. But monsters, I love you. I don’t care about fame and money. I care about you.” In other words, nothing’s changed. The ugly, talentless singer is still the same manipulative little bitch that will lie, cry wolves, and say whatever it takes to save face.

Take a look at her rant on littleMORONS.com:

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The lies:

[The DWUW video] is late because, just like with the “Applause” video unfortunately, I was given a week to plan and execute it. It is very devastating for someone like me, I devote every moment of my life to creating fantasies for you.

"Just like with the Applause video, I was given a week to plan and execute it"???? Say what?

This girl is such a pathological liar, she can’t even keep her story straight anymore.

This is Lady Gaga talking about the “Applause” video with a fan on Twitter. She told the fan (who asked about its creation process) that “Applause” was shot in "3 days, but planned for weeks!" Yes, you read that right, weeks. Plural. She had weeks of planning.

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"All of my successful videos were planned over a period of time when I rested and my creativity was honored."

What are we supposed to make out of this statement? “Applause” and “DWUW” were not successful because, as Gaga claims, she didn’t have time to create them?

Remind me again, what was Lady Gaga doing before the beginning of the promotional campaign for “Applause” (the first single off of ARTFLOP)?

Well, according to the singer herself, she was in bed, resting (after her hip surgery). But now she says she didn’t have any time to rest and create her videos. What has she been doing since her hip operation?

Gaga has said over and over (while trying to make people feel sorry for her) that while she was in bed, and couldn’t walk, she would keep writing songs and ideas for performances and her next show in her notebook.

But she’s telling a different story now.

So you tell me, what has Gaga been doing with her time?

She got a hip operation in February 2013. She had March, April, May, June, July, and August to rest and create the concept for the video for “Applause.” But no, she insists she didn’t have any time.

What’s even more desperate and sad about this lame excuse is that when the videos for “Poker Face” and “Paparazzi” came out, for example, she was amidst the Fame Ball tour, traveling worldwide promoting her first album, and recording its follow-up at the same time (and still, she had time to rest and create those “successful videos”). 

Come on, Lady Gaga… your lies are getting worse and worse!

Pointing Fingers:

Those who have betrayed me gravely mismanaged my time and health and left me on my own to damage control any problems that ensued as a result. Millions of dollars are not enough for some people. They want billions. I was not enough for some people.

Here, Gaga blames her former manager, Troy Carter, for her problems. Maybe she thinks he booked her too many concerts the last time? It seems she’s even blaming him for her hip injury!

Girl, if you didn’t want to do all those shows, why did you accept to do them? It’s not like you were Carter’s slave and was forced to go on tour and make millions of dollars for yourself!

Then, there is the cherry on the top of the icing:

“I wasn’t enough for some people.”

Troy Carter is known for venturing in other entrepreneurial businesses other than the main stars they manage. It seems Gaga didn’t like the fact that he had his eye on other businesses and stars as well. Too full of herself?

Who’s to blame for her failure? Certainly not herself. Blame Troy Carter. He made her a star, he made her millions of dollars. How dare him think she wasn’t enough?

You know you are dealing with an egotistical twat when she tries to get all the credit she can for her success, but deliberately blames others for her failures.

Goddess

“Let me be for you the Goddess that I know I truly am.”

Yup, Lady Gaga is still the same delusional, hypocritical cunt she has always been.

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What’s stopping you?

Give me a chance to show you the meaning of seeing art all around you. Open your hearts to me again that I may show you the joy of us coming together through our talents, that we are stronger as a unit than we are alone.

What’s stopping Lady Gaga from accomplishing her goal? Nothing. Here, she clearly is making a reference to the poor commercial performance of her album.  She is whining about not having sold too many copies. That is the problem.

It’s not like there is anything standing in between her “art” and her fans. There is nothing, and no one, stopping her “art” from reaching her fans. So what the fuck is she whining about? ARTPOP’s commercial failure.

Some sad people bought her album (a few, but they did). These people did open their hearts (and their wallets!!!) for her “art.” Some (a few) might have even bought tickets for her tour  - which starts soon, but has only seven shows sold out to date!

So why is she asking for another chance again?

Oh, it’s because she expected to sell more albums. She expected people to buy whatever crappy music, and even crappier video she put out. She expected it to be easy. She didn’t expect to have to work hard to keep a career handed to her on a silver platter. She didn’t expect to have meetings with executives from her record label meetings regarding the ARTPOP disaster… 

Once again, Lady Gaga proves that what matters to her is fame, and commercial success. She can’t enjoy the small amount of success she got because she doesn’t care about the few thousand fans who bought her shitty album. They don’t matter. She wants to hear the words "millions sold." That’s why she’s lying, giving excuses, blaming other people for her problems, and asking for another chance. Another chance to be the biggest “it girl” in music. And that’s what it’s all about.

What an annoying, hypocritical cunt this ugly little bitch is!

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40 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga bitch whining manipulative desperate artpop artflop Little Monsters mia flip

Dec 31 '13

Fraud

ARTPOP’s Gold Certification in Spain is a Lie

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ABC Spain reports that Lady Gaga’s sales of “ARTFLOP” in the country are fake 

A list containing information regarding album sales in Spain for the week between December 9 and 15 leaked online, revealing not only regrettable sector data, but also deceptive practices. It shows how the minimum sale requirements have been ignored when Gold and Platinum certifications have been given out to the artists.

In Spain, the amounts necessary to receive the Gold and Platinum records certification were originally 50,000, and 100,000 copies sold, respectively. In 2005, those numbers were reduced to 40,000 and 80,000. In 2009, they were lowered, again, to 30,000 and 60,000. Currently, they stand at 20,000 copies sold (to be certified Gold) and 40,000 (Platinum).

ARTFLOP has been certifies Gold in Spain already. However, the article revealed ARTPOP had sold only 12,000 by December 15. That means Lady Gaga received a Gold record in Spain despite not selling the minimum required by their chart rules. In reality, she sold only 60% of what’s required.

Sixty percent! That’s a tiny little bit above half the necessary amount.

Fraudy Gaga… Shady Gaga… she’s the poster child of payola! Anyone still think that THIS theory is unrealistic?

To read their full article, clik on here (thanks to alessandramonno for sending the link).

22 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga flop artflop spain espana artpop submission beyonce

Dec 28 '13

Adore You

Miley Cyrus’s new video is out and causing a commotion

Following the aesthetics (and style) of its predecessor - the mega hit “Wrecking Ball” - “Adore You” could be easily describe as WB’s poor sister (well, it definitely had a lower budget).

I personally don’t like the song (especially as a follow up to “Wrecking Ball”). And I would have gone in another creative direction: the visuals are clean (like in WB), the content is dirty (like in WB), Miley is naked (like in WB). But she looks cute. And it got millions of views already, so I guess people are not tired of it.

When I saw it, it instantly reminded me of Madonna’s “Take a Bow” (calm yo tits, folks, I’m not saying she copied Madonna).

In “Take a Bow,” there is a sequence in which Madonna suggestively plays with a TV set under the sheets (her “love interest” is on TV). In “Adore You,” Miley Cyrus suggestively plays with a camcorder under the sheets (her “love interest” will be watching her suggestive video). Both are using video-interactivity as a sex tool - but in different sides of the spectrum: one is the voyeur, the other is an exhibitionist.

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Miley Cyrus is certainly ending 2013 with another bang. And if she performs this new single at New Years Eve in NYC’s Times Square, she might start 2014 on her way to the top of the charts. Good for her!

Meanwhile, according to VH1, Lady Gaga’s ARTFLOP is the biggest flop of the year. Ouch!

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Dec 24 '13

Disproportional

Just an observation:

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Beyonce’s album sold 746,000 copies worldwide in its first week. But she sold 617,000 copies in the US alone. Do you think you will be reading reports that she only sold 129,000 copies around the world?

I doubt it. 

As a parameter for this observation, MDNA sold 740,000 copies in its first week around the world (only 6,000 copies less than Beyonce’s album). 
Madonna’s US sales, however, were a much more realistic and proportional reflection of her worldwide sales than Beyonce’s overly disproportional numbers:
MDNA sold 359,000 copies in the US - the biggest musical market in the world (which represented 58% of the total digital music sales in 2012). It ended up selling 740,000 copies worldwide that same week. That, pretty much, reflects a proportional and realistic growth (saleswise).

As for Beyonce, her disproportional numbers only make me believe that THIS theory is much more reliable than the numbers revealed as her US sales…

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What is y’alls take on this?

And before another delusional Beyonce fan makes another comment mentioning days, and who sold more, and bla bla bla… let me explain one thing (some of these idiots are as dumb as little monsters):

MDNA sales were used in this article to show how Madonna’s album sales in the US were consistent with the album sales overseas. MDNA sales in the US were proportional with the average percentage the North-American market has in the sales of music worldwide.

That information was used to expose how Beyonce’s US sales are completely disproportional with the way the music market is globally  devided (percentagewise). The discrepancy between Beyonce’s domestic sales in comparison with her own international sales is HUGE - and that has nothing to do with Madonna.

Basic reading skills, folks!

Now let’s go to BASIC MATH:

I’ll go easy on you (little idiots who want to give reductive Tina Turner a free pass):

What is the TOTAL percentage of digital album sales worldwide?

Oh! You guessed it right (I hope)! TOTAL means 100%. Good for you! Now let’s share this pie:

The US represents 58% of that pie. The rest of the world represents 42%.

Beyonce sales in the US was 617,000 copies (that’s that 58% from the previous paragragh, my little idiots). What’s the percentage of sales in the rest of the world? 42%, right? How many albums is that?

Well, MATH says that if 58% means 617,000 albums, 42% should be 446,793 (math, folks, math. Logic. Not an opinion, okay?)

Did Beyonce sell 446,793 copies of her latest abum in the rest of the world?

No.

Beyonce did NOT sell 446, 793 copies of her album outside the US at all.She sold only 129,000 copies (we are still talking digital albums, folks). That’s only 12% of the total worldwide sales (which should be 42%).

That means that Beyonce’s sales ARE too DISPROPORTIONAL and INCONSISTENT. And isn’t that what this article is about?

15 notes View comments Tags: beyonce mdna disproportional shady observation