The album of the decade that was not

Nothing better than starting a new year with great news. The “album of the decade” - Born This Way - failed to achieve what Lady Gaga and her team of supporters said it would achieve, as it can be confirmed by all those year-end charts published by the main musical media outlets - Billboard, Rolling Stone and the like.

First of all, the “album of the decade” did not produce a single classic. The title track “Born This Way” may have become a chart topper (peaking at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart for seven weeks), but it is far from being a classic. 

The song has already fallen into oblivion, which only proves the fact that, even though it achieved commercial success, it did not become a classic.

I can only imagine the kind of circumstances it will be brought up/mentioned again in the future: on those radio shows when the DJs say things like “10 years ago, the number one song in the country was…” and then they play a 30-second clip of it.

The respectable position the song reached on the Billboard charts was the result of an incredible marketing strategy that involved a number of factors, including perfect timing, heavy promotion (she started promoting it at the VMA’s in the previous year!) and, of course, a lot of payola. 

Yes, payola. Commercial slots were bought in several radio stations exclusively to play the song - adding up its airplay. And, as we all know, airplay is one of the aspects taken in consideration by Billboard before concluding their charts.

Remember when a few radio stations played “Born This Way” every hour on its premiere day and/or premiere weekend? None of those stations have a “request” or “most wanted” type of show the whole day. But “Born This Way” was played every hour. Sounds suspicious? 

Not to mention that the song was very similar to Madonna’s “Express Yourself” (a true classic of pop). The undeniable similarities between the two songs were, after all, denied (laughable) by Miss Germanotta. And that was one of the most pathetic moments in music in 2011.

Secondly, the following singles off of that album were either lukewarm, or simply bad. “Judas”, as unoriginal as “Born This Way”, sampled a loop that had already been used by another female singer before - Loli Lux, in the song  ”WannaBE” (the title couldn’t be more appropriate in association with Lady Gag). 

The “Edge of Glory”, a decent pop tune was just not good enough. And its video was horrible and cheap, frustrating her own little monsters. That Google Chrome commercial featuring the singer running across the Brooklyn Bridge was a lot better than that awful video filmed in a New-York-styled set. Did they shoot it at the Universal Studios in CA? It sure looks like it.

Then came along the boring “You and I”. Officially released as a desperate attempt to gain WASP fans (or the crowd that buys Taylor Swift’s music), it sounded a little too much like Queen’s “We Will Rock You” and Shania Twain together. Very annoying. What’s the point in having a member of Queen (Brian May) playing the electric guitar on your song if you’re going to copy one of his band’s most famous songs after all? She should have covered the Queen’s song in a duet with Shania Twain instead. It would have been less pathetic and less pretentious. 

Finally, the fateful “Marry the Night” was released as a single. Not even all that heavy promotion (both in Europe and in the US) helped us all digest the song. It under-performed in every chart you can imagine and it was a huge flop in the American charts. Recently, Interscope dropped the song from being played on the radio. I only hope they are not trying to pretend it never existed, like they did with Beautiful Dirty Rich.

All this just confirms one thing: nothing off of “Born This Way” became a classic. And there’s no “album of the decade” without classic songs. So right now, little monsters, put your paws down.