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Paws Down Lil' Monsters

The worst and the best of pop in one place.
Feb 4 '13

There’s only one Queen…

… and that’s Madonna.

That’s what Nicki Minaj says at the end of I Don’t Give a… song in collaboration with the one and only Queen of Pop. As we all witnessed last night during the 2013 Super Bowl halftime show, she is absolutely right.

Beyoncé tried, but she simply could not top Madonna’s historic 2012 halftime show. Watch and compare:


Let’s be honest: 

Beyoncé had two months more than Madonna to rehearse, and all she came up with was the same dance routine from the past? Pyrotechnic effects? Really?

I mean, if Madonna had performed Vogue the same way she originally did years ago, or even used the choreography from some other past tour, the media would have called her a “has-been”, they would have said she was “over" (oh, wait! They did it anyway). But it seems the world is okay with Beyoncé not presenting anything new at all in her halftime show.

Other comparisons? Even the transition between the songs was bad with Beyoncé! Madonna was so meticulous with her performance that everything was taken care of: from visual elements to the music. The transition of songs at Madonna’s halftime show was smooth and synchronized. There is a difference between a talented 360-degree artist such as Madonna and the rest, after all!

As soon as Beyoncé showed up on stage I knew she could not top Madonna’s show. I mean, it’s 2013, folks! And Beyoncé opened the show with what? Fireworks? Seriously?

Madonna was fucking Cleopatra, people! Not only that. She personified Cleopatra crossing enemy lines, entering Rome - which was a subtle and artistic way of interpreting her own arrival at the Super Bowl: one of the biggest gay icons in history entering the straightest event on Earth. Obviously, Beyoncé did not have anything artistic about her performance. There was no meaning behind anything, it was all “me, me, me. Look at at this! It points at me! I’m in the center. I’m Beyoncé.”

Speaking of pyrotechnic effects, I always found them some of the lamest visual props used on stage. I remember being a child and watching Michael Jackson and thinking “this is so lame”. Years went by and boybands (girlbands too) kept using fireworks on stage as if they were cool (they never were). No wonder why I had no interest in the performances of N’Sync, or Britney Spears, or Destiny’s Child when they were big in the late 90s and early 00s. 

Anyway, Beyoncé s halftime show was not bad, it simply wasn’t good enough. It was uninspired and predictable. As soon as she stepped on stage and the music started playing, I knew what was coming. Same dance routine, same screaming and screeching, same “I walk from side to side and talk to people during the choruses instead of singing”.

After the lip-syncing brouhaha at InaugurationBeyoncé made a big deal of singing live at the Super Bowl. Cute. But why? It’s not like she actually sings her entire songs live. She always has (and it seems, always will) sing only parts of her songs live. And by parts, I mean less than half

If you saw the video i posted above, you know what I am talking about. 

Every time 
Beyoncé performs, she mostly shakes her ass or say stuff like “put your hands together”, “come on”, and other unintelligible sounds during most of her songs - including the hooks and chorusesStill, she had the nerve to say she would “sing live”.

Sorry “Queen B” (that’s how they call her), but that is NOT singing. That is having a pre-recorded backtrack and backup vocal singers do the work for you while you dance or talk. We would not be talking about it if Beyoncé had not boasted about herself and her “live” singing. Did she spend too much time with Lady Gaga?

Another low moment from her halftime show (and I mean, real low) is how they turned Michelle William’s and Kelly Rowland’s microphones low even during their five-second solos (while Beyoncé's voice was on full blast at all times). That's fucked up shit

You don’t invite your girlfriends to sing with you just to have their microphone’s volume lowered to make an unspoken statement: “you all can hear me clearly, but look at these poor bitches! I am the real deal. I’m 
Beyoncé”. That was low, low, low… 

Can you think of the names the media would have called Madonna if she had Nicki Minaj’s, M.I.A’s, or Cee Lo’s voices disappear last year at the Super Bowl? Of course, Beyoncé is not named “egomaniac”, “attention seeking whore" or "selfish bitch" when she does it. Madonna is - even when she fully supports her supporting acts.

In fact, some websites go so above and beyond to diss Madonna. Some people have the nerve (not to say complete disconnect with reality) to say that even Beyoncé's outfit was better than Madonna's!

Look at what Chris Spargo from NewNowNext said:

"From the clothes (props Rubin Singer) to the choreography to the moment when Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland popped up on stage (…) this was quite possibly the greatest live music performance we have ever seen."

You have got to feel sorry for this poor little soul.

I bet he would be the first to criticize Madonna for repeating an old dance routine, or wearing something as lame as Beyoncé s boring "I always am a glamazon" outfits. But hey! For some illogical and irrational reason, he thinks Beyoncé’s outfit was amazing. Better than Madonna, who “lost the crown” for Jay-Z’s wife. How can you not feel sorry for him?

This is what Chris Spargo considers to be great:

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And this is what Madonna wore last year: 

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Sorry to disagree with you, dear Chris Madonna-hater, but no one with half an ounce of decency and logical thinking would ever EVER consider Beyoncé's Super Bowl outfit “amazing”, especially after the extreme luxury and awesomeness Madonna’s Egyptian and Roman inspired Givenchy outfits were. This is not even a matter of opinion, ask any fashion connoisseur about it. It’s a fact. Even Madonna’s 2012 fingerless gloves were greater than Beyoncé's full outfit.

NewNowNext goes further and say: Sorry Madonna, but the crown has officially been snatched. And you ain’t ever getting it back.

Powerful stuff (!). But it’s kind of hard impossible to agree with you Mr. Spargo, when, as a matter of fact, the last year’s halftime show headliner (Madonna) appears on Twitter’s worldwide trends and remains there while the current performer is on stage. 

Nothing says the crown still belongs to Madonna - and it does not plan on landing on anyone’s weaved head louder than "Madonna is the Queen of the Super Bowl" trending during and after Beyoncé's performance.


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Nice try at hating on the one and only Queen of Pop though. As always, Madonna haters present themselves illogical, irrational, uneducated, and lacking supporting arguments. You make my life so much easier on this blog.

Better than this, only when Madonna-haters say Madonna copied Kylie Minogue’s Aphrodite/Les Folies Tour. Nothing better than an uneducated and ignorant fellow who doesn’t know the difference between Egyptian and Roman aesthetics from Greek. Maybe this old post I wrote will help you educate yourselves. Go ahead. Read it. I dare you.

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Like I said before, as predicted, the Super Bowl XLVII Beat last year’s event in the ratings. CBS on Sunday. With an average overnight household rating of 48.1/71, the game was the highest-rated Super Bowl in metered market history.


However, 
Beyoncé could NOT keep up with the event’s hype. Her show, which occurred in the 8 – 8:30 PM ET time slot, scored a 48.2/71. That’s down from the 48.1/72 of Madonna’s 2012 halftime performance.

It’s all in the numbers, baby: Madonna is the Queen of the Super Bowl, no matter how much firework and smoke Beyoncé uses in her shows. Check it out here.

On a related note, remember when alleged pedophile Michael Jackson blatantly lip-synced his way through the Super Bowl?

Yeah, it’s funny how this guy could lip-sync his entire shows (including his own tours) and no one had a problem with it:

 

 

21 notes View comments Tags: Beyoncé Beyonce Madonna Super Bowl Superbowl Super Bowl halftime show halftime Kylie Minogue Egyptian Greek Roman Cleopatra

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