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Paws Down Lil' Monsters

The worst and the best of pop in one place.

Posts tagged little monsters

Oct 1 '14
[Click to enlarge]
Poor mother monster… do her tits look like that because she breastfed all her little monsters?
Madonna: Full, round, beautiful breasts at 55. This is an untouched outtake from her 2014 VOGUE L’UOMO photoshoot.Lady Gaga: Saggy, droopy, deflated, stretch-marked pancake tits at 28. This is an untouched picture of Gaga showing her ugly tits off on stage.Remember when Madonna showed one nipple at a concert, and Gaga fans called her desperate? What about Gaga showing off her saggy breasts NIGHT AFTER NIGHT on tour now?

[Click to enlarge]

Poor mother monster… do her tits look like that because she breastfed all her little monsters?

Madonna: Full, round, beautiful breasts at 55. This is an untouched outtake from her 2014 VOGUE L’UOMO photoshoot.

Lady Gaga: Saggy, droopy, deflated, stretch-marked pancake tits at 28. This is an untouched picture of Gaga showing her ugly tits off on stage.

Remember when Madonna showed one nipple at a concert, and Gaga fans called her desperate? What about Gaga showing off her saggy breasts NIGHT AFTER NIGHT on tour now?

16 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga saggy tits pancake tits saggy droopy stretch marks pancake ihop Madonna beautiful queen of pop little monsters artrave vogue italia luomo breastfeeding

Sep 20 '14

REVIEW

FLOP TO FLOP

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Slant Magazine Destroys Lady Gaga’s Latest Album

Click on this link here to read the scathing review Lady Gaga’s latest desperate album received from Slant magazine, which gave it two stars.

If you’re on the run and don’t have time to read it all, here are some of the highlights:

It’s the oldest trick in the book: Past-prime pop singer attempts to boost his or her relevance in the face of dwindling sales and hastily changing trends by commissioning the help of a hotter, more bankable artist. Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga’s Cheek to Cheekis the latest product of such a collaboration—except I’m not referring to the octogenarian Bennett, who, after 60-plus years in the business, is selling more albums than ever before, but to Gaga, whose free-fall from the upper echelons of pop has been as precipitous as her rise was meteoric.

They also call Stefani out on her bullshit:

Despite her claims that she grew up listening to the jazz greats, Gaga comes off more as a dilettante than an aficionado on Cheek to Cheek, a collection of duets with the seasoned Bennett. (Between Madonna, Bowie, Motley Crue, and now Ella and Billie, it’s hard to keep track of just how many posters adorned her bedroom walls as a child.)

As far as the music itself (and her performance), here’s what they had to say about her delivery:

On songs like the Cole Porter standard “Anything Goes” and the title track, Gaga sounds like what she thinks a jazz singer should sound like; her performances are blatantly affected, marred by shouting and clichéd phrasing. She displays a total dearth of the vocal precision and enunciation that made her so-called idols the masters they were; her timbre on eden ahbez’s “Nature Boy,” for instance, is wildly inconsistent, shifting from soft and almost pleasant to parodic and comical, often within just a few short bars.

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What’s next for Gaga?

After the disastrous performance of ARTPOP, the singer said she was done with pop music. Fuck pop music,” she said. Verbatim. Then she tried a jazz album, which is failing even more miserably than her previous album. So what does the future hold for the wannabe?

I know! I can assure you she will come back with the same commercial, generic, contemporary pop music she always makes. And for the third time, she will most lily say her new album feels like her "real first album" (she said the same about Born This Way and ARTPOP).

She’ll do it again and again while the public’s interest in her and her music dies slowly and painfully.

And speaking of dying slowly, Lady Gaga played in Athens this week. She performed at the O.A.K.A stadium. That’s the same stadium Madonna performed for over 75,000 people in one concert with her Sticky and Sweet Tour. 

Want to guess how many people attended Gaga’s concert at the same venue? About 20,000 people according to the Greek press - less than half of Madonna’s crowd.  

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Gaga is dying slowly and painfully. Finally, she is delivering something truly entertaining to watch.

29 notes View comments Tags: artraveathens lady gaga slant magazine slant little monsters flop review cheek to cheek tony bennett hanky panky Madonna greece Sticky and sweet tour S&S

Sep 7 '14

17 notes View comments Tags: joan rivers rip rip joan rivers lady gaga little monsters

Aug 31 '14

BREAKING NEWS

FREE TICKETS FOR LADY GAGA’S CONCERT IN SYDNEY TONIGHT

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Allphones arena Sydney has been giving out hundreds of free Lady Gaga tickets to tonight’s show ALL DAY.

Ticket sales were SO LOW the venue was forced to hit the streets, offering people free tickets - if they can’t profit from ticket sales, they will profit from amenities such as food, drinks, parking, etc. Little Morons have been melting down on twitter about it, all night.

Let’s cut to the venue: this picture is as of RIGHT NOW (8:00 pm) and the venue is not even close to being full. You’ll also notice in this pic CURTAINS COVERING UNSOLD SEATS - THE ENTIRE TOP HALF OF THE VENUE.

THANG GOD FOR CURTAINS!" Lady Gaga is thinking.

Below, you see a picture of the Allphones Arena with THOUSANDS of unsold seats hiding behind curtains for Gaga’s tonight show, and a few other pictures showing what the Allphones arena looks like when the artist playing there sells out their tickets:

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Embarrassing!

But wait! There’s more:

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But I guess when you’re born to be a wannabe, you’ll always be a wannabe. 

You see, Gaga’s been around for six years and she can’t even sell out an arena in Sydney (her shows in Perth had two-for-one deals and she only managed to fill half of the venue there). That’s very different from a real queen. And speaking of her:

When Madonna went to Australia, she had already been around longer than Gaga (her career was turning 10 back then), and this is how her STADIUM concerts looked:

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But considering how much Lady Gaga loves to LIE about her shows using the pictures of other people’s concerts, I wouldn’t be surprised if she tweeted something like:

28 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga artrave artrave sydney sydney australia flop artflop empty madonna girlie show artravesydney little monsters allphonesarena allphones arena free tickets liar

Aug 29 '14

AUSTRALIA

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We have said before how much we love the Australian media. 

Well, they’re at it again. Today, I came across this SCATHING review of ARTPOP by Australian magazine MX. Aussie Journo’s do us proud. We couldn’t agree more. 

We love the whole thing but some of our favourite quotes are:

"IF you see someone on a train wearing a Lady Gaga shirt you should probably give up your seat to them because they are clearly musically challenged

"In MANiCURE she demands "Put your hands all over my body parts, throw me on the bed. Squeeze, tease and please me” - a suggestion so repulsive that after listening to it I felt hallucinogenic levels of sickness”

"But hey, at least it’ll give her deluded and obsessive cult-like fans another 59 minutes of background music to listen to while they spend their days slapping themselves and crying like Annette Bening in American Beauty"

Read it yourselves here.

Make sure you also check the news about how Gaga could only fill 50% of the venue in Perth (Australia), despite having a two-for-one deal (read about it here).

13 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga artpop artrave little monsters review flop artflop australia

Aug 22 '14

FLOPPING IN AUSTRALIA

LADY GAGA RECEIVES BAD REVIEWS AND PLAYS TO HALF EMPTY ARENAS

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The Australian press has spoken - and they’re not covering up Lady Gaga’s failure down under.

Despite the TWO-FOR-ONE deal for her concerts there, Lady Gaga managed to fill only half of the capacity in Perth.

Take a look at what Yahoo News Australia had to say about her “half-baked” show:

Pop stars should know better than to try to flog a dead horse. But when you have experienced such meteoric fame as Lady Gaga, it might be hard to listen to common sense.

She can’t listen to common sense. The only thing she can hear is her own bowel movements (you know damn well where her head is)!

Gaga is on a world tour in support of her fourth album Artpop, which has experienced the worst sales of her career.

When the Australian leg of artRave - The Artpop Ball - kicked off in Perth this week, Gaga was quick to point out to the audience that if they weren’t there to enjoy hearing Artpop live, they should “f… off.”

"For those who didn’t come for Artpop or didn’t like the album, grab a drink or a glow stick or get the f… out," Gaga threatened the crowd five songs in, all from said album.

The New York native preached to the audience as if Artpop was some form of biblical revelation - the fusing of art and pop that brings together “the straights and the gays” and the disenfranchised.

But in reality, Artpop is a by-the-numbers pop album that suffers in concert from over- production and Gaga’s refusal to use back-up singers instead of a backing tape straight out of a Britney Spears concert.

An impassioned performance of Dope followed, with just Gaga on the piano in fine voice - yet it seemed so forced, with the singer telling the crowd the song was about everything from addiction to those living with AIDS, before pointing out the surviving members of Queen were in the audience ahead of their Perth Arena show tonight.

Isn’t it ironic? The woman whose fanbase is known for saying stuff like “I hope you get Aids” whenever someone says she sucks is now trying to do some damage control.

"I would like to point out that the rock’n’roll band Queen have come to my show," she said. "I can feel it, f…ing Freddie (Mercury) is here too."

The poor thing!

The review then continues:

The majority of the crowd seemingly didn’t know how to respond to the shambolic production that exploded onstage, except when they were given brief reprieves with the sprinkling of hits that actually made them listen to Gaga in the first place.

The 28-year-old told the audience, who appeared to fill half of the 15,000-capacity venue, that her promoters had asked her to bring a smaller-sized production Down Under because of flagging sales and interest but said: “I think my Australian fans deserve the whole show.”

But really, given the half-baked concert that was delivered on Wednesday night, she shouldn’t have bothered.

Australian journalists: you make me proud!

Make sure you click on their article here so they get more traffic / internet hits. The media needs to know that when they expose Gaga’s failures, we will visit their pages.

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29 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga artrave perth australia review artflop flop littlemonsters little monsters

Aug 16 '14

LIAR LIAR!

LADY GAGA IS CAUGHT LYING AGAIN

One would think Lady Gaga would have learnt her lesson by now, but boy, she’s dumber than we thought. Lady Gaga has just been caught lying about her “sold out” shows again.

Remember when she lied about her “sold out” show in Quebec? A month ago, the singer claimed 90,000 people showed up for her #artraveQuebec, when, in fact, it was a music festival with dozens of other artists playing on that very same day (on the stage Gaga performed, for instance, there were other three headlining acts besides herself!). 

To make things worse, Gaga followed that statement with a picture of a massive crowd, claiming to be of her show. It turns out, the picture she said it was of her concert was taken during a Metallica show from three years before (click here to read our post about it).

Oh, well, she did it again! And she was caught again!

Gaga just lied about her “sold out” Tokyo show. And just like before, she used a picture of someone else’s show saying it was hers! Here’s what she posted on her official Facebook page:

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Note the date: August 15, 2014. The caption says "artRAVE: The ARTPOP Ball - Tokyo."

Funny, because that very same picture has been around since 2013, under a different artist, a band named BUMP OF CHICKEN.

I captured the image from a website that uploaded that very same picture in 08/10/2013,  August 10, 2013 - a little more than a year BEFORE Gaga’s Tokyo show. Here’s the pic:

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You can click on the picture, it will take you to the website I got it from. You can check it on your own.

And before her delusional, pathetic, moronic fans say these pictures are different (they dared to say it when she used the Metallica image), here’s a comparison of both images:

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Any doubts? Didn’t think so.

So, yes, once again, LADY GAGA LIES about her shows. She is a fraud. A pathological liar. Add stupid to the list of adjectives we can use to describe her.

But we understand, she’s blinded by desperation. She’s officially selling TWO TICKETS FOR ONE  in Australia (click here), so she’s doing anything she can to forge an artificial sense of superstardom that has long gone. Her relevance has been packed and she’s desperately running after it.

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73 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga japan tokyo artrave tokyo bump of chicken liar caught little monsters artrave artrave japan

Aug 16 '14

DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

LADY GAGA RANTS NONSENSE ON “ONTD”

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ONTD" reported that some Japanese people felt offended by Lady Gaga’s racially insensitive couture. Here’s what they said:

Lady Gaga is in Tokyo. According to her, it’s her “favorite place.” Too bad she’s just pissed off some folks online in Japan.

On her Instagram account, Lady Gaga uploaded two photos of herself wearing a colorful outfit with Korean characters written on it. The Korean characters 컬러 appear mean just that: color. Innocuous stuff, right? Well…

There’s already a thread on 2ch, Japan’s largest online forum, titled “Lady Gaga, Who’s Visiting Japan, Is Wandering Around Roppongi in Clothes with Korean Characters. This Proves That From the White Person’s Point of View, Japan and Korea are the Same.” Yikes!

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The singer, who’s always googling her own name to see what people are talking about her, reacted with a pathetic response:

She said the designer sent the outfit to her—— and w
hat does that even mean? Did she only have ONE outfit to wear in Japan? Or did she forget to tell us that “the designer” had put a gun on her head and forced her to wear this outfit? 

This girl just doesn’t get it. Yes, Gaga, we are all aware that you don’t make your own clothes (despite your claims of being super creative). But that doesn’t change the fact that what you wore was culturally insensitive and ignorant. Own up to it. Stop blaming the designer. You were not forced to wear it, and you had plenty of other options.

But I guess we will never see Gaga owning up to her mistakes, her stupidity, her lack of originality, her insensitivity. It’s always someone else’s fault!

If that’s not bad enough, remember when Lady Gaga wore Galliano in Berlin? The same John Galliano that was fired from Dior after declaring his love for Hitler? We do. There, she also wore a mustache. 

Yes, Gaga wore a crazed Nazi-lover’s dress in Germany and said she felt “blessed.” Clearly, you can’t get anymore culturally ignorant and offensive than Lady Gaga.

Never forget: this is the woman who dressed up as a slave owner while her white friends wore blackface and were chained to her in 2009. Also, in Germany:

14 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga japan nazi galliano stupid insensitive ignorant little monsters moron hitler ontd blackface racism racist racist gaga

Jul 16 '14

IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT

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Hello! This is lilmonsteravila. As you can tell, he’s a little monster (physically and metaphorically). Yesterday, he learned a valuable lesson. He learned about the power of Paws Down Little Monster.

He started a public campaign against us on his Instagram account. He tagged us, and he invited other little monsters to spam and report our page.

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He thought he would piss us off. He thought he would get us out of Instagram. Little did he know that Paws Down Little Monsters is not one or two people. It’s a movement (we are everywhere).

Lilmonsteravila and friends thought they would change us with their spamming and non-sense - mostly of what this guy did was quote Lady Gaga songs - LOL (yeah, I know)! Did they change us? Did they succeed?

Let’s see… our Instagram is still strong, our pictures are still open for everyone to see. Our opinion about Lady Gaga, her amateurish act and dishonest ways is still the same. So is our opinion of her butt-ugly, intellectually weak fans. But what about lilmonsteravila?

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Oh, well, he couldn’t handle criticism. He turned his Instagram account “private"as soon as he started feeling the heat of our kitchen (or of our street, if you prefer). 

I guess it comes with the territory: if you’re a Lady Gaga fan, you have got to be weak, a whining little bitch, and play the victim every chance you get. Just now (and just like Lady Gaga herself), lilmonsteravila whined about us bringing criticism toward him. He is so stupid, he doesn’t see that that happened after he tagged us on his account, calling our attention to it. We didn’t even know that such a butt-ugly person like himself existed (besides Lady Gaga, of course)! 

Lesson learned: don’t want to be annoyed by the legion of people who dislike Lady Gaga? Don’t go around spamming our pages, or tagging us on your pictures. I know! It’s such a basic notion, but Lady Gaga’s “retarded” and “moronic” fans just don’t get it: if you don’t want the attention, to bring it to yourselves. But if you do decide to mess with us, don’t complain about the heat.

Meanwhile, let’s celebrate the fact that we are a success. We have, once again, succeeded in distracting little monsters from Lady Gaga!

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Instead of watching Gaga’s shitty videos on YouTube, or working to buy her shitty singles on iTunes, these little monsters spent their day (some of them are still doing it) on our Instagram account, involved in arguments and being distracted from things that could help save Lady Gaga’s declining career.

So thank you little monsters, for being the living proof that our work on Paws Down Little Monsters is a success. Thank you all for proving that we are famous among the Lady Gaga fan base. Thank you for for showing us how annoyed you all are. And please, keep visiting our pages. Because that’s how we know we have won: once you get paws-down’d, you will always come back for more. Once you know about us, you will always come back to check what we are saying about your failed idol.

16 notes View comments Tags: little monster little monsters lady gaga campaign spam spamming ugly fugly instagram sarcasm

Apr 8 '14

ARTFLOP

REDUCTIVE

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DESPICABLE WERDE

Bill Werde, the idiot who lost his position as Billboard’s editorial director, the one who helped Lady Gaga cheat her way to the top of the charts by supporting changes in the chart’s rules and regulations (when they benefitted the failed popstar) is at it again.

This time, this idiot is endorsing a pro-suicide hate message sent by a die-hard Lady Gaga fan who is always telling people to "kill themselves" when they are not her fans. 

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It’s become clear that Lady Gaga supporters do not have any problem, whatsoever, with telling people to kill themselves when they disagree with their likes or dislikes in pop culture. That includes Bill Werde, someone who, until a few months ago, was in charge of an opinion-shaper publication that is regarded as the most important music publication in American culture.

Bill Werde might not have said the words himself. But favoriting such tweet is a clear sign of endorsement and support. Mind-likeness.

If you think endorsing pro-suicide hate messages is the only thing Bill Werde has been doing since he lost his position as Billboard’s editorial director, you’re wrong. He has been using his free time investigating the veracity of several Internet personas who have been exposing Lady Gaga on different pages (including Angela Cheng and Sabrina O’Connor). 

According to Werde, he called up the schools these two writers allegedly studied, and found out that no such names have ever been enrolled in those educational institutions. Which is kind of worrying. Last time I checked, there was something called PRIVACY, and no school is allowed to reveal any kind of personal information about their students to other parties without being previously allowed, or subpoenaed (which is not the case here). So either these schools broke the law, or Bill Werde is lying. 

Either way, it’s just so funny to see that Bill Werde, besides being a horrible person, has been turned into an internet joke by Angela Cheng herself, who now, photoshops “her" face and his in funny pictures. Either she is real or not, one thing is for sure, she has a great sense of humor and she beautifully put him in his place.

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12 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga little monsters bill werde billboard angela cheng sabrina oconnor sabrona o'connor idiot hater hate message luigi germanotta haters

Mar 25 '14

3-for-1 

G.U.Y. - Gaga’s Unsuccessful Years

By Chris Tanasoff and PDLM

Remember when Lady Gaga said “[art] is so easily accessible on the Internet it’s treated like McDonald’s, it’s treated like trash…I’m not a French fry, I’m foie gras”?

Well, that’s what her latest video is all about. Lady Gaga is so delusional and pretentious that she actually believes what she does is real “art,” while what her contemporaries do is junk food. With that logic, I’m no surprised Lady Gaga had an “artist” throw up on her earlier this month on stage.  

Gaga’s latest video opens with businessmen fighting over money while a fallen phoenix (Lady Gaga) lies on the ground - hurt, used up, trashed. This represents Gaga’s ever-self-victimising rhetoric, which now, argues that she had been exploited and taken advantage of by the people in the music business.

The problem with this rhetoric is that it is contradictory within Gaga’s own past discourse. She’s always said she was in control of her career, of her artistic choices. But now that she is underselling, now that she can’t have a #1 hit, she’s blaming other people for mishandling her career.  As of now, Lady Gaga argues that the music business left her dried-out. 

Who is she talking about? The same people that launched her career? Akon? Laurieann Gibson? Troy Carter? Jennifer O’Neil? Perez Hilton? People that had to fight to get paid for their overtime work for her? People that dedicated their time to build her career? People who invested their own money on her as a start-up, then wanted to cash out? Yup, those same people that made her a star but yes, of course, for her, they simply took advantage of her. The “artiste.” 

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We then see Lady Gaga crawl to her feet and walk to Hearst Castle as the song “ARTPOP” plays with the saying “a hybrid can withstand these things.” Wait! I thought this video was for another song, not “ARTPOP.” Mmm… Gaga uses this video to promote not one, not two, but THREE failed songs off of her latest failed album. That doesn’t sound very artistic. “3-for-1” is the kind of thing you see at a discount store. Oh, yeah, that’s right. We are talking about Lady Gaga. It makes sense now.

Back to the “hybrid” topic, it seems Lady Gaga actually believes she’s a “hybrid” within pop music. I think she truly believes she’s a hybrid of classical training and pop artistry in one. She actually believes that she’s the ONLY one that has artistic merit in her work. It’s painful to watch. Specially when, at the end, the outcome of her work is always middle of the road, generic, and common place. 

As Lady Gaga stumbles towards Hearst Castle, we get a first hand look at just how poorly the “short film” was directed and produced. The camera work is sloppy, and as the soundtrack goes from “ARTPOP” to “Venus,” there’s no segue. The transition is not smooth - and it’s not like she did it on purpose. It was just badly directed. Welcome to Mariah Carey land - where their delusional heads are so far up their asses, they think they can direct their videos without any actual technical knowledge. But I guess Lady Gaga “directed” this video on her own, the same way she “designed” that bubble dress. 

Once within the Hearst Castle property, Gaga is taken in, bathed, and baptised by its “creative” occupants. They’re probably representing that sub-class of “artists” she calls the “haus.” Her baptism and rebirth happen in the property’s pool. This scene looks like it was thrown together in 5 mins. The arrangement was awful, the timing was off and the opulence of the magnificent pool takes away from anything grand Gaga was trying to achieve herself. But when you’re a try-hard like Gaga, anything grand takes away the attention from you. Even a big pool. 

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After Gaga is “reborn,” we then get our first look at Gaga’s series of pretentious “shades.” Be careful! She’s trying to throw shade at everyone! Including the the cast of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills (who participate in this mess, I mean, video). Let’s take a look at the wives’s cameo: 

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Notice something strange about that picture? The RHOBH are awkwardly holding those instruments,  there is no precision, or expertise in the way they “play” them. Gaga’s goal is to take a jab at people who become “famous” for no reason. They have no musical talent, they can’t play instruments, they can’t sing, but they are famous anyway. The real housewives are there to represent the stars with no real talent or musical ability having undeserved fame.

This is very rich coming from a woman who became famous mainly because of her wardrobe, and surely NOT because of the generic, contemporary pop music she makes. It gets even better when you think of how hard Lady Gaga is trying to pass as a “multi-instrumentalist” when all she does is hit a high hat while her drummer does the work for her, and plays “air guitar” in her shows when no one can hear the sounds of the instruments she’s playing for real. But Gaga’s head is way too far up her own dirty ass for her to realize that the joke is on her!

But when you steal ideas from the Teletubbies, you know there;s not a lot going on in your head:

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Finally, the actual single G.U.Y (Gaga’s Unsuccessful Years) starts to play accompanied by a series of basic dance moves. “Basic” seems to be the very best adjective to describe this video, and in all honesty, Gaga’s entire career. Here we see visual references reminiscent of “Bad Romance,” “Poker Face,” and some other older Gaga looks, all from the period of time she used to be famous and had hit songs. Gaga is trying to say that she’s back. Back in the game with her previous quality of work (!!!). 

Someone, please, tell Lady Gaga that her demise would be less embarrassing if she didn’t desperately try to recoup some of the “old magic.” She’s been around for only 5-6 years. It’s too early to copy her past work. Let Debbie Harry do it. Let Boy George do it. They were big in the 80s, they are still around. It makes sense they would rely in their heyday for a paycheck now. But Gaga? Already? Oh, well, who am I kidding? Gaga was already relying on her past work 3 years within her rise to fame - and that didn’t work either. 

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Lady Gaga’s obsession with the charts and her underlying feelings towards Katy Perry are clearly expressed in this video too (besides her unfortunate comments following her sad and desperate performance at SXSW).

Take a look at the scene where Lady “mother of originality” Gaga is in the pool. The surroundings are Mediterranean-style (as is Heasrt Caslte and the styling of the video’s dancers). But suddenly, a very Egyptian boat is rowed passed mother monster. 

Whether that was intentional or not, it is a very fitting visual. Gaga stuck in the middle (repeating herself), as an Egyptian boat rides along. Where to? Probably the top of the charts, where Katy Perry is right now. 

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Then Lady Gaga depicts Michael Jackson, Jesus and Gandi rising from their graves to take their “DNA” in order to have their clones made. Very sci-fi, very born this way-ish. It’s also very fitting. After all, these guys have qualities Lady Gaga is very fond of:

Michael Jackson was an accused pedophile (just like Lady Gaga’s best friend Terry Richardson and collaborator R. kelly). But that’s not the only quality Michael Jackson had that attracts Lady Gaga. She sees herself in him. After all, from the 80s until the day he died, Michael Jackson lived as a caricature of himself. The man died trying to repeat the formula that made him an uber star - and who is the female popstar that’s become a sad caricature of herself in just 3 years?

As for Jesus, well, he sacrificed himself for the rest of us, sinners, right? That was so Gaga of him! Victimizing himself for others! #copycat

Then there’s Gandhi. Oh, Mahatma Gandhi! He was a very peaceful man. He advocated for peaceful resistance, through peaceful protests. I guess Gaga identifies herself with him too. Especially when she doesn’t have to get her hands dirty when fighting other celebrities - she always sends her lap dog Tara Savelo, DJ White Shadow, and old fart Perry meek do the dirty work for her instead. 

Needless to say, despite Gandhi’s historic accomplishments (no one can take away from him), he was a notorious racist. But when you go around dressed up as a slave owner while your white friends put on blackface, being a racist is not a problem at all.

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The video ends with Gaga’s new super race of artistic people now dressed as “executives.” They are then released from the castle and take over the world one office at a time. Then the credits role for FOUR MINUTES.

That’s right. Lady “I do everything myself” Gaga has credits that run for four minutes! That means that 30% of Gaga’s new video is just for the credits.

Never mind the other 70% of pure generic, pop formula regurgitation.

#revolutionary  

23 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga flop guy gagas unsuccessful years g u y girl under you review racist blackface slave owner the real housewives andy cohen mahatma gandhi gandhi jesus jesus christ michael jackson little monsters

Mar 15 '14

#FlopWatch2014

Call it anything you want, but art

In this day and age, everyone calls themselves an “artist.” From Instagram users who use their phone’s camera to snap pictures of cities, to people who call their natural, physiological features a work of art, to people like Lady Gaga. Anyone is an “artist” in their minds. 

Maybe these people had awesome parents who truly believed that their kids’s pre-school work deserved to be displayed at the Louvre instead of their refrigerators. Who knows?

All I know is this:

Defecating is not art. It’s a natural, physiological secretion that all human beings do.

Urinating is not art.  It’s a natural, physiological, fluid discharge that all human beings do.

Vomiting is not art. It’s a natural, physiological ability to voluntarily or involuntary expulse the contents of one’s stomach through their mouth, and sometimes, nose. 

No matter how many times a culturally void celebrity tells you it is art, it just isn’t.

People usually defecate, urinate, vomit, in their privacy. Why? Because these physiological features are common, we all share these same “abilities.” Doing it in public doesn’t make it “art.”

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But people like Lady Gaga think it is. Believe it or not, there are people who, for some reason, believe that their shit is special (pun intended). There are people who think that drinking artificially colored fluids than randomly throwing up on a canvas is art. There are people who think that giving themselves a paint-enema before randomly defecating on a canvas is art. Come on! Even Lady Gaga believes her generic, contemporary music is art (talk about a big pile of shit)! 

But we get it, Lady Gaga. When everybody else is selling more albums than you, selling more concert tickets than you, and the only way you get to have your songs played on the radio is through payola, we can understand the level of desperation.

What we don’t understand, though, is why you would do it. It’s not like your cheap, desperate stunts for publicity have been working. In fact, Gaga’s sales have progressively decreased as the desperation levels of her stunts rose. So there are only three options here: Lady Gaga is just too stupid, Lady Gaga is a complete delusional moron, or both.

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At this point, if my stunts haven’t worked, I would tone down and pay more attention to my music. Instead of relying my musical career on peripheral aspects like outfits and shock value, I’d just make better music. If I wasn’t capable of doing it (which clearly is Lady Gaga’s case), Id’ hire people to do it for me. It’s okay, Rihanna and Beyonce do it all the time, and they’re just fine. In fact, they’ll go down in history with more world records than Lady Gaga. They’ve already gotten more accolades than mother monster today, and the thing is, I cannot say for sure what the future holds for a singer whose last #1 single happened three years ago. But it does not look promising. Especially when she has already reached the point that the only way she makes headlines is when someone else is vomiting upon her.

But then you remember: Lady Gaga’s ego is bigger than everything else. She’d rather be dead than admit she is a crappy, generic songwriter. She will go around saying she’s a classically trained pianist, despite her often flawed renditions of “her own” music. She’ll say she’s one of the best songwriters in the music business today, but she’ll have five, six, sometimes seven songwriters working on her songs, that at the end, turn out to be like “Applause.” She’ll go around saying she’s a performance artist, but then she’ll go on stage and have a meltdown, cry endless love for her fans, then bitch about how low her record sales were in an interview. 

What is even more sad about Lady Gaga’s delusional psyche, is that she truly thinks she does performance art because she let a no-name “artist” throw up on her the other night during a show. She fails to see that it could be anyone, or anything, under that girl. Katy Perry, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, a cheap half-off canvas bought at Michael’s. Being vomited upon does not make you an artist. In fact, vomiting paint does not make you an artist. But you won’t find these people (Katy Perry, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus) getting desperate: their latest studio albums debuted with higher sales than Lady Gaga’s latest studio album. Their latest/current tour numbers show that they are being more successful than Gaga’s tour as well. 

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But I guess Lady Gaga was born this way, and you know, you just can’t fight your natural aptitudes. She was born to leech off of other people, she can’t be any different: 

At first, Gaga attached her image to Madonna and Michael Jackson to sell records. Then she attached herself to big fashion names to sell records. Then, she attached herself to the gay community to sell records. Recently, she attached herself to contemporary artists to sell records. She can’t help it, she was born this way.

Speaking of that, a few days ago, Madonna revealed she was in the studio recording a new album. #RebelHeart was the statement made by Madonna herself, indicating her creative mood in the studio while creating new music. The always reductive singer Lady Gaga then changed her Twitter headline to “creative rebellion.”

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Once a leech, always a leech. Once reductive, always reductive. She can’t help it, she was born this way.

Using of the little media coverage her desperate performance at the SXSW Festival got (despite the vomit and all), a couple of new songs “mysteriously leaked" earlier today. Perfect timing, after all, Lady Gaga already started informally promoting Artpop’s Second Act.

One of these songs is “Brooklyn Nights.” Let’s just hope this is an old demo from one of her earlier albums, because, Jesus, it is awful!

26 notes View comments Tags: flopwatch flop watch lady gaga sxsw doritos vomit little monsters madonna katy perry laughingstock beyonce rihanna adele taylor swift desperation desperate sad gif art performance art artist ridiculous reductive leech brooklyn nights

Feb 21 '14

#FlopWatch2014

Billboard Magazine LIES, While Lady Gaga Struggles To Sell Tickets

And we thought Billboard would try to recover their damaged reputation when they fired Bill Werde, and hired Angela Cheng Janice Min instead. Oh well, we were wrong! They are still publishing lies on Lady Gaga’s behalf.

Today, Billboard Bizz published a story on the additional tickets being offered to Lady Gaga’s “SOLD OUT” shows at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC:

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"Lady Gaga’s sold-out Roseland Ballroom Residency" they said, "sold out within minutes" they added.Yeah, cute. In what motherfucking planet?

Right now, none of those shows are “sold out.” And you can check it out for yourselves:

As of right now (Friday, February 21, 2014, around 5.30 pm Eastern time), you can buy tickets for FIVE (of the seven) Lady Gaga shows at the Roseland ballroom on Ticketmaster (the primary ticket seller for the concerts).

The other two shows? They aren’t sold out either. They are on hold. You can expect those tickets to be put for sale anytime soon. Go to Ticketmaster and check it for yourselves! Here’s what comes up:

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What makes it even worse and more embarrassing, is that the Roseland Ballroom is a small venue! For a regular concert, the Roseland Ballroom can accommodate 3,200 people standing, 2,500 for a dance party, between 1,300 and 1,500 in theatre style. 

Yes, that’s right! Lady Gaga can’t even sell out small venues like the Roseland Ballroom even after several weeks with the tickets in the market.

What is even more embarrassing is how her fans still believe in her ever-pathetic, never-ending "I love my fans, not their money" rhetoric. That Billboard article says that fans can purchase these additional tickets for $400 to gain access to a “VIP soundcheck.”

Yes, $400 dollars so you can enter the venue earlier to watch her rehearse/do a soundcheck. What kind of “love” is this? Surely, not love for her fans, but for her bank account. An interesting paradox can be found in Madonna.

The Queen of Pop is often described as a “bitch,” but she never charged her fans to gain access to her soundcheck/rehearsals, or to pay to meet her (which Gaga does, despite her “I love my fans, not their money” discourse). God! Madonna didn’t even charge her fans to be inside the Golden Triangle (the closest area to her stage)!

I was chosen to be in Madonna’s Golden Triangle five times - and I didn’t need to spend a dime for those passes! Now, ask me what happened to the Madonna fans who arrived at the venues she was playing way before concert time (while Madonna was still doing her soundcheck)? They got in for FREE! Using their FREE Golden Triangle passes! The complete opposite of Lady “I-love-my-fans” Gaga, who is now charging $400 a ticket so her fans can see her do a soundcheck.

Little monsters are not only culturally void, but they are real fools!

And just because not only Madonna is endlessly better, more talented, and more interesting than Lady Gaga, but being a Madonna fan is more rewarding than being a Lady Gaga fan, below there are some videos of Madonna interacting with her fans during the soundcheck for her shows from different places around the world.

PS.: no one had to pay $400 to gain access to neither the Golden Triangle, nor the soundcheck. Take that Lady Gaga and little monsters!

London - ”Are you sending those outfits to Lady Gaga?”

Amsterdam - Singing “Deeper and Deeper,” “Physical Attraction” and “Give it 2 Me” with her fans:


Washington DC - Having a “business talk” with the crowd:

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Performing “Give Me All Your Luvin’”:

15 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga roseland roseland ballroom billboard lies lie flop flopwatch2014 flop watch flop watch 2014 artflop artpop citi mdna mdna tour golden triangle madonna free soundcheck little monsters little monster fool fools rehearsal

Feb 20 '14

Dark Horse

Watch Katy Perry’s new video here!



Katy Perry Patra just released the video for her #1 hit Dark Horse!

The song has already been #1 for FOUR weeks in the US without a video, and this new release will ensure it will spend a few more days around the top of the charts.

Dark Horse is Katy Perry’s NINTH #1 hit, cementing her position (alongside her personal friend, Rihanna) as one of the most prolific hit-makers in the current scene. 

Katy is kitsch‬ and she knows it - that’s the best thing about her videos. We are glad she has found the success she has by embracing herself truthfully. 

You know, unlike Katy Perry, there’s a very sad and desperate popstar who tries very hard to be taken seriously - her delusions of grandeur are equivalent to Mariah Carey’s!

Fortunately, that sad and desperate popstar has achieved only A THIRD of Katy Perry’s success with her songs (despite having released more albums than her). Her name? 

Lady Gaga, of course!

Well, if you’re thinking it was unnecessary for me to mention her name, well, I felt like I needed to, in case you had already forgotten she exists (like the rest of the world already has).

Enjoy Katy Perry’s new video!

And remember: tickets for her PRISMATIC TOUR are on sale!

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Speaking of tickets, we already have our tickets to Miley Cyrus show in our hands!

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And while we are on the subject of tours, guess what? That sad and desperate popstar announced her Australian dates for the ARTFLOP Ball tour this week. 

Australia is one of the only places her previous tour (the Flop This Way Ball) wasn’t a complete commercial failure. But the big question is: how will tickets sell?!

Let’s take a look at some important facts:

Lady Gaga’s latest studio album, the one supporting her new tour, was a complete and utter failure in Australia. 

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The album supporting Gaga’s tour is currently on the iTunes chart, sitting at number 75 (it never reached #1 there). However, on the official Australian Album charts (ARIA), ARTFLOP doesn’t even rank among the toil 50. In case you were wondering, Katy Perry’s PRISM is still in the Australian charts. ARTFLOP is the one that’s been out for quite some time now. 

In fact, ARTPOP has performed so poorly in Australia that it appears Lady Gaga has cancelled her Australian promo tour!

She announced a visit to Australia to January, a competition for her fans to meet her was also held (similar to what she did with Japan). Winners were announced - but where is Lady Gaga? It’s almost March now!

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It seems these poor fans will only get to meet her once her official tour gets there. Bye-bye promo tour!

Gaga surely loves her fans, but she loves her bank account even more. That’s why she decided to cancel a visit to the country(they’re not buying her music, after all). Maybe in the future, if Aussie fans buy tickets to her concert, she’ll go down under. But by then, they might be in jail for vandalism. Who knows?

At least Lady Gaga announced that the prices for her new tour will be more affordable! Oh, wait… 

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So tell me, how well do you think her tour will go this time around?

If Australians didn’t buy her album for $9.99, what made them think they will pay around $170.00 for a ticket to see her stumble around and vomit on stage while her vocals keep coming out? The most surprising thing for me is how much her Meet ‘N Greet costs. Something that was FREE in the last tour is now $1500!

In comparison, Miley Cyrus Meet N’ Greet costs $900. Rihanna’s was $800. Justin Beiber’s was $500. All of them have been much more successful than Lady Gaga with their latest musical releases.

By the way, she has only four dates (so far) for her Australian shows. They are:

Wed 20 Aug - Perth Arena, WA
Sat 23 Aug - Rod Laver Arena, VIC
Tue 26 Aug - Brisbane Entertainment Centre, QLD
Sat 30 Aug - Allphones Arena, NSW

Do you think she’ll be able to add other 10 shows (she played 14 concerts there the previous time)?

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Canceling promo tours, scheduling less shows, exploiting fans with expensive “meet n’ greet” tickets… You know your career is in big trouble when a market you previously flourished in no longer supports you. 

Australia broke Lady Gaga’s first number 1 single, and now she can’t even top those same charts. 

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By Chris Tanasoff and PDLM.

6 notes View comments Tags: video premiere video premiere katy perry dark horse katy patra mariah carey lady gaga flop artflop artpop little monsters prism prismatic prismatic tour bangerz bangerz tour miley cyrus aria australia madonna justify my love gif maya rudolph

Feb 6 '14

Poll:

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All we know is that Britney Spears fans are not thinking it through. If her song with Gaga (remember her?) flops (like all of Gaga’s recent singles and collaborations), Gaga will blame Britney for her failure - the same way she’s now blaming her entire team for a disastrous 2013.

Speaking of Lady Gaga, her fans (the “little monsters”) are now attacking Miley Cyrus, accusing her of copying Madonna.

Oh, the irony!

Little monsters are so stupid, they don’t even notice they admit Lady Gaga copies Madonna when they do so.

There’s a reason we call them little morons.

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Miley looks gorgeous! G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S —- something Lady Gaga never gets to be (even after massive amounts of make-up and photoshop). She can totally pull off that Hollywood Golden Era look (as well as Madonna can), and still be Miley - adding her spunk to the imagery.

And that is another thing Lady Gaga is an Über failure: she copies people’s imagery, but she doesn’t add anything to it: she has nothing to offer as an artist, or human being.

That must be the reason why Lady Gaga fans are hating Miley Cyrus’s guts. 

That, and the fact that Miley Cyrus has been stating the obvious about mother moron around. Miley pointed out that Cindy Sherman’s #276 was Lady Gaga’s inspiration, little monsters sent her hate messages and threats for it.

#SpreadCompassion

#StopTheDramaStartTheMusic

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The same Cindy Sherman had an exhibition at the MoMA in 1997 supported by whom?

The Queen of Pop herself! 

It all comes down to M - at one point or another.

20 notes View comments Tags: britney spears lady gaga poll miley cyrus irony little monsters little morons Cindy Sherman moma nyc madonna