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Paws Down Lil' Monsters

The worst and the best of pop in one place.

Posts tagged little monsters

Jul 16 '14

IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT

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Hello! This is lilmonsteravila. As you can tell, he’s a little monster (physically and metaphorically). Yesterday, he learned a valuable lesson. He learned about the power of Paws Down Little Monster.

He started a public campaign against us on his Instagram account. He tagged us, and he invited other little monsters to spam and report our page.

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He thought he would piss us off. He thought he would get us out of Instagram. Little did he know that Paws Down Little Monsters is not one or two people. It’s a movement (we are everywhere).

Lilmonsteravila and friends thought they would change us with their spamming and non-sense - mostly of what this guy did was quote Lady Gaga songs - LOL (yeah, I know)! Did they change us? Did they succeed?

Let’s see… our Instagram is still strong, our pictures are still open for everyone to see. Our opinion about Lady Gaga, her amateurish act and dishonest ways is still the same. So is our opinion of her butt-ugly, intellectually weak fans. But what about lilmonsteravila?

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Oh, well, he couldn’t handle criticism. He turned his Instagram account “private"as soon as he started feeling the heat of our kitchen (or of our street, if you prefer). 

I guess it comes with the territory: if you’re a Lady Gaga fan, you have got to be weak, a whining little bitch, and play the victim every chance you get. Just now (and just like Lady Gaga herself), lilmonsteravila whined about us bringing criticism toward him. He is so stupid, he doesn’t see that that happened after he tagged us on his account, calling our attention to it. We didn’t even know that such a butt-ugly person like himself existed (besides Lady Gaga, of course)! 

Lesson learned: don’t want to be annoyed by the legion of people who dislike Lady Gaga? Don’t go around spamming our pages, or tagging us on your pictures. I know! It’s such a basic notion, but Lady Gaga’s “retarded” and “moronic” fans just don’t get it: if you don’t want the attention, to bring it to yourselves. But if you do decide to mess with us, don’t complain about the heat.

Meanwhile, let’s celebrate the fact that we are a success. We have, once again, succeeded in distracting little monsters from Lady Gaga!

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Instead of watching Gaga’s shitty videos on YouTube, or working to buy her shitty singles on iTunes, these little monsters spent their day (some of them are still doing it) on our Instagram account, involved in arguments and being distracted from things that could help save Lady Gaga’s declining career.

So thank you little monsters, for being the living proof that our work on Paws Down Little Monsters is a success. Thank you all for proving that we are famous among the Lady Gaga fan base. Thank you for for showing us how annoyed you all are. And please, keep visiting our pages. Because that’s how we know we have won: once you get paws-down’d, you will always come back for more. Once you know about us, you will always come back to check what we are saying about your failed idol.

15 notes View comments Tags: little monster little monsters lady gaga campaign spam spamming ugly fugly instagram sarcasm

Apr 8 '14

ARTFLOP

REDUCTIVE

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DESPICABLE WERDE

Bill Werde, the idiot who lost his position as Billboard’s editorial director, the one who helped Lady Gaga cheat her way to the top of the charts by supporting changes in the chart’s rules and regulations (when they benefitted the failed popstar) is at it again.

This time, this idiot is endorsing a pro-suicide hate message sent by a die-hard Lady Gaga fan who is always telling people to "kill themselves" when they are not her fans. 

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It’s become clear that Lady Gaga supporters do not have any problem, whatsoever, with telling people to kill themselves when they disagree with their likes or dislikes in pop culture. That includes Bill Werde, someone who, until a few months ago, was in charge of an opinion-shaper publication that is regarded as the most important music publication in American culture.

Bill Werde might not have said the words himself. But favoriting such tweet is a clear sign of endorsement and support. Mind-likeness.

If you think endorsing pro-suicide hate messages is the only thing Bill Werde has been doing since he lost his position as Billboard’s editorial director, you’re wrong. He has been using his free time investigating the veracity of several Internet personas who have been exposing Lady Gaga on different pages (including Angela Cheng and Sabrina O’Connor). 

According to Werde, he called up the schools these two writers allegedly studied, and found out that no such names have ever been enrolled in those educational institutions. Which is kind of worrying. Last time I checked, there was something called PRIVACY, and no school is allowed to reveal any kind of personal information about their students to other parties without being previously allowed, or subpoenaed (which is not the case here). So either these schools broke the law, or Bill Werde is lying. 

Either way, it’s just so funny to see that Bill Werde, besides being a horrible person, has been turned into an internet joke by Angela Cheng herself, who now, photoshops “her" face and his in funny pictures. Either she is real or not, one thing is for sure, she has a great sense of humor and she beautifully put him in his place.

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12 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga little monsters bill werde billboard angela cheng sabrina oconnor sabrona o'connor idiot hater hate message luigi germanotta haters

Mar 25 '14

3-for-1 

G.U.Y. - Gaga’s Unsuccessful Years

By Chris Tanasoff and PDLM

Remember when Lady Gaga said “[art] is so easily accessible on the Internet it’s treated like McDonald’s, it’s treated like trash…I’m not a French fry, I’m foie gras”?

Well, that’s what her latest video is all about. Lady Gaga is so delusional and pretentious that she actually believes what she does is real “art,” while what her contemporaries do is junk food. With that logic, I’m no surprised Lady Gaga had an “artist” throw up on her earlier this month on stage.  

Gaga’s latest video opens with businessmen fighting over money while a fallen phoenix (Lady Gaga) lies on the ground - hurt, used up, trashed. This represents Gaga’s ever-self-victimising rhetoric, which now, argues that she had been exploited and taken advantage of by the people in the music business.

The problem with this rhetoric is that it is contradictory within Gaga’s own past discourse. She’s always said she was in control of her career, of her artistic choices. But now that she is underselling, now that she can’t have a #1 hit, she’s blaming other people for mishandling her career.  As of now, Lady Gaga argues that the music business left her dried-out. 

Who is she talking about? The same people that launched her career? Akon? Laurieann Gibson? Troy Carter? Jennifer O’Neil? Perez Hilton? People that had to fight to get paid for their overtime work for her? People that dedicated their time to build her career? People who invested their own money on her as a start-up, then wanted to cash out? Yup, those same people that made her a star but yes, of course, for her, they simply took advantage of her. The “artiste.” 

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We then see Lady Gaga crawl to her feet and walk to Hearst Castle as the song “ARTPOP” plays with the saying “a hybrid can withstand these things.” Wait! I thought this video was for another song, not “ARTPOP.” Mmm… Gaga uses this video to promote not one, not two, but THREE failed songs off of her latest failed album. That doesn’t sound very artistic. “3-for-1” is the kind of thing you see at a discount store. Oh, yeah, that’s right. We are talking about Lady Gaga. It makes sense now.

Back to the “hybrid” topic, it seems Lady Gaga actually believes she’s a “hybrid” within pop music. I think she truly believes she’s a hybrid of classical training and pop artistry in one. She actually believes that she’s the ONLY one that has artistic merit in her work. It’s painful to watch. Specially when, at the end, the outcome of her work is always middle of the road, generic, and common place. 

As Lady Gaga stumbles towards Hearst Castle, we get a first hand look at just how poorly the “short film” was directed and produced. The camera work is sloppy, and as the soundtrack goes from “ARTPOP” to “Venus,” there’s no segue. The transition is not smooth - and it’s not like she did it on purpose. It was just badly directed. Welcome to Mariah Carey land - where their delusional heads are so far up their asses, they think they can direct their videos without any actual technical knowledge. But I guess Lady Gaga “directed” this video on her own, the same way she “designed” that bubble dress. 

Once within the Hearst Castle property, Gaga is taken in, bathed, and baptised by its “creative” occupants. They’re probably representing that sub-class of “artists” she calls the “haus.” Her baptism and rebirth happen in the property’s pool. This scene looks like it was thrown together in 5 mins. The arrangement was awful, the timing was off and the opulence of the magnificent pool takes away from anything grand Gaga was trying to achieve herself. But when you’re a try-hard like Gaga, anything grand takes away the attention from you. Even a big pool. 

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After Gaga is “reborn,” we then get our first look at Gaga’s series of pretentious “shades.” Be careful! She’s trying to throw shade at everyone! Including the the cast of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills (who participate in this mess, I mean, video). Let’s take a look at the wives’s cameo: 

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Notice something strange about that picture? The RHOBH are awkwardly holding those instruments,  there is no precision, or expertise in the way they “play” them. Gaga’s goal is to take a jab at people who become “famous” for no reason. They have no musical talent, they can’t play instruments, they can’t sing, but they are famous anyway. The real housewives are there to represent the stars with no real talent or musical ability having undeserved fame.

This is very rich coming from a woman who became famous mainly because of her wardrobe, and surely NOT because of the generic, contemporary pop music she makes. It gets even better when you think of how hard Lady Gaga is trying to pass as a “multi-instrumentalist” when all she does is hit a high hat while her drummer does the work for her, and plays “air guitar” in her shows when no one can hear the sounds of the instruments she’s playing for real. But Gaga’s head is way too far up her own dirty ass for her to realize that the joke is on her!

But when you steal ideas from the Teletubbies, you know there;s not a lot going on in your head:

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Finally, the actual single G.U.Y (Gaga’s Unsuccessful Years) starts to play accompanied by a series of basic dance moves. “Basic” seems to be the very best adjective to describe this video, and in all honesty, Gaga’s entire career. Here we see visual references reminiscent of “Bad Romance,” “Poker Face,” and some other older Gaga looks, all from the period of time she used to be famous and had hit songs. Gaga is trying to say that she’s back. Back in the game with her previous quality of work (!!!). 

Someone, please, tell Lady Gaga that her demise would be less embarrassing if she didn’t desperately try to recoup some of the “old magic.” She’s been around for only 5-6 years. It’s too early to copy her past work. Let Debbie Harry do it. Let Boy George do it. They were big in the 80s, they are still around. It makes sense they would rely in their heyday for a paycheck now. But Gaga? Already? Oh, well, who am I kidding? Gaga was already relying on her past work 3 years within her rise to fame - and that didn’t work either. 

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Lady Gaga’s obsession with the charts and her underlying feelings towards Katy Perry are clearly expressed in this video too (besides her unfortunate comments following her sad and desperate performance at SXSW).

Take a look at the scene where Lady “mother of originality” Gaga is in the pool. The surroundings are Mediterranean-style (as is Heasrt Caslte and the styling of the video’s dancers). But suddenly, a very Egyptian boat is rowed passed mother monster. 

Whether that was intentional or not, it is a very fitting visual. Gaga stuck in the middle (repeating herself), as an Egyptian boat rides along. Where to? Probably the top of the charts, where Katy Perry is right now. 

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Then Lady Gaga depicts Michael Jackson, Jesus and Gandi rising from their graves to take their “DNA” in order to have their clones made. Very sci-fi, very born this way-ish. It’s also very fitting. After all, these guys have qualities Lady Gaga is very fond of:

Michael Jackson was an accused pedophile (just like Lady Gaga’s best friend Terry Richardson and collaborator R. kelly). But that’s not the only quality Michael Jackson had that attracts Lady Gaga. She sees herself in him. After all, from the 80s until the day he died, Michael Jackson lived as a caricature of himself. The man died trying to repeat the formula that made him an uber star - and who is the female popstar that’s become a sad caricature of herself in just 3 years?

As for Jesus, well, he sacrificed himself for the rest of us, sinners, right? That was so Gaga of him! Victimizing himself for others! #copycat

Then there’s Gandhi. Oh, Mahatma Gandhi! He was a very peaceful man. He advocated for peaceful resistance, through peaceful protests. I guess Gaga identifies herself with him too. Especially when she doesn’t have to get her hands dirty when fighting other celebrities - she always sends her lap dog Tara Savelo, DJ White Shadow, and old fart Perry meek do the dirty work for her instead. 

Needless to say, despite Gandhi’s historic accomplishments (no one can take away from him), he was a notorious racist. But when you go around dressed up as a slave owner while your white friends put on blackface, being a racist is not a problem at all.

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The video ends with Gaga’s new super race of artistic people now dressed as “executives.” They are then released from the castle and take over the world one office at a time. Then the credits role for FOUR MINUTES.

That’s right. Lady “I do everything myself” Gaga has credits that run for four minutes! That means that 30% of Gaga’s new video is just for the credits.

Never mind the other 70% of pure generic, pop formula regurgitation.

#revolutionary  

23 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga flop guy gagas unsuccessful years g u y girl under you review racist blackface slave owner the real housewives andy cohen mahatma gandhi gandhi jesus jesus christ michael jackson little monsters

Mar 15 '14

#FlopWatch2014

Call it anything you want, but art

In this day and age, everyone calls themselves an “artist.” From Instagram users who use their phone’s camera to snap pictures of cities, to people who call their natural, physiological features a work of art, to people like Lady Gaga. Anyone is an “artist” in their minds. 

Maybe these people had awesome parents who truly believed that their kids’s pre-school work deserved to be displayed at the Louvre instead of their refrigerators. Who knows?

All I know is this:

Defecating is not art. It’s a natural, physiological secretion that all human beings do.

Urinating is not art.  It’s a natural, physiological, fluid discharge that all human beings do.

Vomiting is not art. It’s a natural, physiological ability to voluntarily or involuntary expulse the contents of one’s stomach through their mouth, and sometimes, nose. 

No matter how many times a culturally void celebrity tells you it is art, it just isn’t.

People usually defecate, urinate, vomit, in their privacy. Why? Because these physiological features are common, we all share these same “abilities.” Doing it in public doesn’t make it “art.”

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But people like Lady Gaga think it is. Believe it or not, there are people who, for some reason, believe that their shit is special (pun intended). There are people who think that drinking artificially colored fluids than randomly throwing up on a canvas is art. There are people who think that giving themselves a paint-enema before randomly defecating on a canvas is art. Come on! Even Lady Gaga believes her generic, contemporary music is art (talk about a big pile of shit)! 

But we get it, Lady Gaga. When everybody else is selling more albums than you, selling more concert tickets than you, and the only way you get to have your songs played on the radio is through payola, we can understand the level of desperation.

What we don’t understand, though, is why you would do it. It’s not like your cheap, desperate stunts for publicity have been working. In fact, Gaga’s sales have progressively decreased as the desperation levels of her stunts rose. So there are only three options here: Lady Gaga is just too stupid, Lady Gaga is a complete delusional moron, or both.

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At this point, if my stunts haven’t worked, I would tone down and pay more attention to my music. Instead of relying my musical career on peripheral aspects like outfits and shock value, I’d just make better music. If I wasn’t capable of doing it (which clearly is Lady Gaga’s case), Id’ hire people to do it for me. It’s okay, Rihanna and Beyonce do it all the time, and they’re just fine. In fact, they’ll go down in history with more world records than Lady Gaga. They’ve already gotten more accolades than mother monster today, and the thing is, I cannot say for sure what the future holds for a singer whose last #1 single happened three years ago. But it does not look promising. Especially when she has already reached the point that the only way she makes headlines is when someone else is vomiting upon her.

But then you remember: Lady Gaga’s ego is bigger than everything else. She’d rather be dead than admit she is a crappy, generic songwriter. She will go around saying she’s a classically trained pianist, despite her often flawed renditions of “her own” music. She’ll say she’s one of the best songwriters in the music business today, but she’ll have five, six, sometimes seven songwriters working on her songs, that at the end, turn out to be like “Applause.” She’ll go around saying she’s a performance artist, but then she’ll go on stage and have a meltdown, cry endless love for her fans, then bitch about how low her record sales were in an interview. 

What is even more sad about Lady Gaga’s delusional psyche, is that she truly thinks she does performance art because she let a no-name “artist” throw up on her the other night during a show. She fails to see that it could be anyone, or anything, under that girl. Katy Perry, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, a cheap half-off canvas bought at Michael’s. Being vomited upon does not make you an artist. In fact, vomiting paint does not make you an artist. But you won’t find these people (Katy Perry, Madonna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus) getting desperate: their latest studio albums debuted with higher sales than Lady Gaga’s latest studio album. Their latest/current tour numbers show that they are being more successful than Gaga’s tour as well. 

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But I guess Lady Gaga was born this way, and you know, you just can’t fight your natural aptitudes. She was born to leech off of other people, she can’t be any different: 

At first, Gaga attached her image to Madonna and Michael Jackson to sell records. Then she attached herself to big fashion names to sell records. Then, she attached herself to the gay community to sell records. Recently, she attached herself to contemporary artists to sell records. She can’t help it, she was born this way.

Speaking of that, a few days ago, Madonna revealed she was in the studio recording a new album. #RebelHeart was the statement made by Madonna herself, indicating her creative mood in the studio while creating new music. The always reductive singer Lady Gaga then changed her Twitter headline to “creative rebellion.”

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Once a leech, always a leech. Once reductive, always reductive. She can’t help it, she was born this way.

Using of the little media coverage her desperate performance at the SXSW Festival got (despite the vomit and all), a couple of new songs “mysteriously leaked" earlier today. Perfect timing, after all, Lady Gaga already started informally promoting Artpop’s Second Act.

One of these songs is “Brooklyn Nights.” Let’s just hope this is an old demo from one of her earlier albums, because, Jesus, it is awful!

26 notes View comments Tags: flopwatch flop watch lady gaga sxsw doritos vomit little monsters madonna katy perry laughingstock beyonce rihanna adele taylor swift desperation desperate sad gif art performance art artist ridiculous reductive leech brooklyn nights

Feb 21 '14

#FlopWatch2014

Billboard Magazine LIES, While Lady Gaga Struggles To Sell Tickets

And we thought Billboard would try to recover their damaged reputation when they fired Bill Werde, and hired Angela Cheng Janice Min instead. Oh well, we were wrong! They are still publishing lies on Lady Gaga’s behalf.

Today, Billboard Bizz published a story on the additional tickets being offered to Lady Gaga’s “SOLD OUT” shows at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC:

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"Lady Gaga’s sold-out Roseland Ballroom Residency" they said, "sold out within minutes" they added.Yeah, cute. In what motherfucking planet?

Right now, none of those shows are “sold out.” And you can check it out for yourselves:

As of right now (Friday, February 21, 2014, around 5.30 pm Eastern time), you can buy tickets for FIVE (of the seven) Lady Gaga shows at the Roseland ballroom on Ticketmaster (the primary ticket seller for the concerts).

The other two shows? They aren’t sold out either. They are on hold. You can expect those tickets to be put for sale anytime soon. Go to Ticketmaster and check it for yourselves! Here’s what comes up:

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What makes it even worse and more embarrassing, is that the Roseland Ballroom is a small venue! For a regular concert, the Roseland Ballroom can accommodate 3,200 people standing, 2,500 for a dance party, between 1,300 and 1,500 in theatre style. 

Yes, that’s right! Lady Gaga can’t even sell out small venues like the Roseland Ballroom even after several weeks with the tickets in the market.

What is even more embarrassing is how her fans still believe in her ever-pathetic, never-ending "I love my fans, not their money" rhetoric. That Billboard article says that fans can purchase these additional tickets for $400 to gain access to a “VIP soundcheck.”

Yes, $400 dollars so you can enter the venue earlier to watch her rehearse/do a soundcheck. What kind of “love” is this? Surely, not love for her fans, but for her bank account. An interesting paradox can be found in Madonna.

The Queen of Pop is often described as a “bitch,” but she never charged her fans to gain access to her soundcheck/rehearsals, or to pay to meet her (which Gaga does, despite her “I love my fans, not their money” discourse). God! Madonna didn’t even charge her fans to be inside the Golden Triangle (the closest area to her stage)!

I was chosen to be in Madonna’s Golden Triangle five times - and I didn’t need to spend a dime for those passes! Now, ask me what happened to the Madonna fans who arrived at the venues she was playing way before concert time (while Madonna was still doing her soundcheck)? They got in for FREE! Using their FREE Golden Triangle passes! The complete opposite of Lady “I-love-my-fans” Gaga, who is now charging $400 a ticket so her fans can see her do a soundcheck.

Little monsters are not only culturally void, but they are real fools!

And just because not only Madonna is endlessly better, more talented, and more interesting than Lady Gaga, but being a Madonna fan is more rewarding than being a Lady Gaga fan, below there are some videos of Madonna interacting with her fans during the soundcheck for her shows from different places around the world.

PS.: no one had to pay $400 to gain access to neither the Golden Triangle, nor the soundcheck. Take that Lady Gaga and little monsters!

London - ”Are you sending those outfits to Lady Gaga?”

Amsterdam - Singing “Deeper and Deeper,” “Physical Attraction” and “Give it 2 Me” with her fans:


Washington DC - Having a “business talk” with the crowd:

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Performing “Give Me All Your Luvin’”:

15 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga roseland roseland ballroom billboard lies lie flop flopwatch2014 flop watch flop watch 2014 artflop artpop citi mdna mdna tour golden triangle madonna free soundcheck little monsters little monster fool fools rehearsal

Feb 20 '14

Dark Horse

Watch Katy Perry’s new video here!



Katy Perry Patra just released the video for her #1 hit Dark Horse!

The song has already been #1 for FOUR weeks in the US without a video, and this new release will ensure it will spend a few more days around the top of the charts.

Dark Horse is Katy Perry’s NINTH #1 hit, cementing her position (alongside her personal friend, Rihanna) as one of the most prolific hit-makers in the current scene. 

Katy is kitsch‬ and she knows it - that’s the best thing about her videos. We are glad she has found the success she has by embracing herself truthfully. 

You know, unlike Katy Perry, there’s a very sad and desperate popstar who tries very hard to be taken seriously - her delusions of grandeur are equivalent to Mariah Carey’s!

Fortunately, that sad and desperate popstar has achieved only A THIRD of Katy Perry’s success with her songs (despite having released more albums than her). Her name? 

Lady Gaga, of course!

Well, if you’re thinking it was unnecessary for me to mention her name, well, I felt like I needed to, in case you had already forgotten she exists (like the rest of the world already has).

Enjoy Katy Perry’s new video!

And remember: tickets for her PRISMATIC TOUR are on sale!

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Speaking of tickets, we already have our tickets to Miley Cyrus show in our hands!

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And while we are on the subject of tours, guess what? That sad and desperate popstar announced her Australian dates for the ARTFLOP Ball tour this week. 

Australia is one of the only places her previous tour (the Flop This Way Ball) wasn’t a complete commercial failure. But the big question is: how will tickets sell?!

Let’s take a look at some important facts:

Lady Gaga’s latest studio album, the one supporting her new tour, was a complete and utter failure in Australia. 

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The album supporting Gaga’s tour is currently on the iTunes chart, sitting at number 75 (it never reached #1 there). However, on the official Australian Album charts (ARIA), ARTFLOP doesn’t even rank among the toil 50. In case you were wondering, Katy Perry’s PRISM is still in the Australian charts. ARTFLOP is the one that’s been out for quite some time now. 

In fact, ARTPOP has performed so poorly in Australia that it appears Lady Gaga has cancelled her Australian promo tour!

She announced a visit to Australia to January, a competition for her fans to meet her was also held (similar to what she did with Japan). Winners were announced - but where is Lady Gaga? It’s almost March now!

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It seems these poor fans will only get to meet her once her official tour gets there. Bye-bye promo tour!

Gaga surely loves her fans, but she loves her bank account even more. That’s why she decided to cancel a visit to the country(they’re not buying her music, after all). Maybe in the future, if Aussie fans buy tickets to her concert, she’ll go down under. But by then, they might be in jail for vandalism. Who knows?

At least Lady Gaga announced that the prices for her new tour will be more affordable! Oh, wait… 

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So tell me, how well do you think her tour will go this time around?

If Australians didn’t buy her album for $9.99, what made them think they will pay around $170.00 for a ticket to see her stumble around and vomit on stage while her vocals keep coming out? The most surprising thing for me is how much her Meet ‘N Greet costs. Something that was FREE in the last tour is now $1500!

In comparison, Miley Cyrus Meet N’ Greet costs $900. Rihanna’s was $800. Justin Beiber’s was $500. All of them have been much more successful than Lady Gaga with their latest musical releases.

By the way, she has only four dates (so far) for her Australian shows. They are:

Wed 20 Aug - Perth Arena, WA
Sat 23 Aug - Rod Laver Arena, VIC
Tue 26 Aug - Brisbane Entertainment Centre, QLD
Sat 30 Aug - Allphones Arena, NSW

Do you think she’ll be able to add other 10 shows (she played 14 concerts there the previous time)?

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Canceling promo tours, scheduling less shows, exploiting fans with expensive “meet n’ greet” tickets… You know your career is in big trouble when a market you previously flourished in no longer supports you. 

Australia broke Lady Gaga’s first number 1 single, and now she can’t even top those same charts. 

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By Chris Tanasoff and PDLM.

6 notes View comments Tags: video premiere video premiere katy perry dark horse katy patra mariah carey lady gaga flop artflop artpop little monsters prism prismatic prismatic tour bangerz bangerz tour miley cyrus aria australia madonna justify my love gif maya rudolph

Feb 6 '14

Poll:

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All we know is that Britney Spears fans are not thinking it through. If her song with Gaga (remember her?) flops (like all of Gaga’s recent singles and collaborations), Gaga will blame Britney for her failure - the same way she’s now blaming her entire team for a disastrous 2013.

Speaking of Lady Gaga, her fans (the “little monsters”) are now attacking Miley Cyrus, accusing her of copying Madonna.

Oh, the irony!

Little monsters are so stupid, they don’t even notice they admit Lady Gaga copies Madonna when they do so.

There’s a reason we call them little morons.

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Miley looks gorgeous! G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S —- something Lady Gaga never gets to be (even after massive amounts of make-up and photoshop). She can totally pull off that Hollywood Golden Era look (as well as Madonna can), and still be Miley - adding her spunk to the imagery.

And that is another thing Lady Gaga is an Über failure: she copies people’s imagery, but she doesn’t add anything to it: she has nothing to offer as an artist, or human being.

That must be the reason why Lady Gaga fans are hating Miley Cyrus’s guts. 

That, and the fact that Miley Cyrus has been stating the obvious about mother moron around. Miley pointed out that Cindy Sherman’s #276 was Lady Gaga’s inspiration, little monsters sent her hate messages and threats for it.

#SpreadCompassion

#StopTheDramaStartTheMusic

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The same Cindy Sherman had an exhibition at the MoMA in 1997 supported by whom?

The Queen of Pop herself! 

It all comes down to M - at one point or another.

20 notes View comments Tags: britney spears lady gaga poll miley cyrus irony little monsters little morons Cindy Sherman moma nyc madonna

Jan 8 '14

WTF

WTF did I just listen to?

Bill Werde Fired From Billboard

Yes. I am talking about the same Bill Werde I had a public argument with a couple of months ago regarding his obscure and shady ways of helping Lady Gaga enter the Billboard charts, which included:

Counting the viewership of an award show as visualizations of her performance (helping her song chart higher), changing Billboard rules so that her album could be sold for 99 cents and still be eligible for the charts, then changing Billboard rules again so that no one else could pull the same stunt, accepting Gaga’s Youtube/VEVO audio track + lyrics video + official video to be added to the final tally, etc.

Yup! Just like we said before, Bill Werde was an incompetent, unprofessional, shady editorial director that would facilitate the way to the top for his favorite people - like Gaga. What he got in exchange for that, we will never know. He’s been fired now.

I am happy Guggenheim media finally understood how Bill Werde was damaging Billboard’s reputation by giving special treatment to people like Lady Gaga.

We can only hope the magazine’s new editorial director, Janice Min, is a good professional and won’t sell hers and the magazine’s soul and dignity for people like Stefani Germanotta. We don’t need another little moron on the work force. All they do is tarnish reputations and cheat their way to the top.

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Jan 6 '14

POKER FACE

Lady Gaga Lies and Blames Former Manager for ARTPOP Failure

Some people are calling it a “meltdown” (even I did, earlier on twitter). But when you think about it, this is Lady Gaga doing what she knows best: playing the victim, blaming other people for her bad music, bad videos, and bad choices, and boasting the egos of her idiotic fans (does she think they will each go out and buy ARTFLOP again every time she says she believes in them?).

2014 barely started, and here comes Lady Gaga setting the tone for a new year. Her new motto is “Poor me. People betrayed me. They left me alone and I have to do it all by myself. But monsters, I love you. I don’t care about fame and money. I care about you.” In other words, nothing’s changed. The ugly, talentless singer is still the same manipulative little bitch that will lie, cry wolves, and say whatever it takes to save face.

Take a look at her rant on littleMORONS.com:

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The lies:

[The DWUW video] is late because, just like with the “Applause” video unfortunately, I was given a week to plan and execute it. It is very devastating for someone like me, I devote every moment of my life to creating fantasies for you.

"Just like with the Applause video, I was given a week to plan and execute it"???? Say what?

This girl is such a pathological liar, she can’t even keep her story straight anymore.

This is Lady Gaga talking about the “Applause” video with a fan on Twitter. She told the fan (who asked about its creation process) that “Applause” was shot in "3 days, but planned for weeks!" Yes, you read that right, weeks. Plural. She had weeks of planning.

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"All of my successful videos were planned over a period of time when I rested and my creativity was honored."

What are we supposed to make out of this statement? “Applause” and “DWUW” were not successful because, as Gaga claims, she didn’t have time to create them?

Remind me again, what was Lady Gaga doing before the beginning of the promotional campaign for “Applause” (the first single off of ARTFLOP)?

Well, according to the singer herself, she was in bed, resting (after her hip surgery). But now she says she didn’t have any time to rest and create her videos. What has she been doing since her hip operation?

Gaga has said over and over (while trying to make people feel sorry for her) that while she was in bed, and couldn’t walk, she would keep writing songs and ideas for performances and her next show in her notebook.

But she’s telling a different story now.

So you tell me, what has Gaga been doing with her time?

She got a hip operation in February 2013. She had March, April, May, June, July, and August to rest and create the concept for the video for “Applause.” But no, she insists she didn’t have any time.

What’s even more desperate and sad about this lame excuse is that when the videos for “Poker Face” and “Paparazzi” came out, for example, she was amidst the Fame Ball tour, traveling worldwide promoting her first album, and recording its follow-up at the same time (and still, she had time to rest and create those “successful videos”). 

Come on, Lady Gaga… your lies are getting worse and worse!

Pointing Fingers:

Those who have betrayed me gravely mismanaged my time and health and left me on my own to damage control any problems that ensued as a result. Millions of dollars are not enough for some people. They want billions. I was not enough for some people.

Here, Gaga blames her former manager, Troy Carter, for her problems. Maybe she thinks he booked her too many concerts the last time? It seems she’s even blaming him for her hip injury!

Girl, if you didn’t want to do all those shows, why did you accept to do them? It’s not like you were Carter’s slave and was forced to go on tour and make millions of dollars for yourself!

Then, there is the cherry on the top of the icing:

“I wasn’t enough for some people.”

Troy Carter is known for venturing in other entrepreneurial businesses other than the main stars they manage. It seems Gaga didn’t like the fact that he had his eye on other businesses and stars as well. Too full of herself?

Who’s to blame for her failure? Certainly not herself. Blame Troy Carter. He made her a star, he made her millions of dollars. How dare him think she wasn’t enough?

You know you are dealing with an egotistical twat when she tries to get all the credit she can for her success, but deliberately blames others for her failures.

Goddess

“Let me be for you the Goddess that I know I truly am.”

Yup, Lady Gaga is still the same delusional, hypocritical cunt she has always been.

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What’s stopping you?

Give me a chance to show you the meaning of seeing art all around you. Open your hearts to me again that I may show you the joy of us coming together through our talents, that we are stronger as a unit than we are alone.

What’s stopping Lady Gaga from accomplishing her goal? Nothing. Here, she clearly is making a reference to the poor commercial performance of her album.  She is whining about not having sold too many copies. That is the problem.

It’s not like there is anything standing in between her “art” and her fans. There is nothing, and no one, stopping her “art” from reaching her fans. So what the fuck is she whining about? ARTPOP’s commercial failure.

Some sad people bought her album (a few, but they did). These people did open their hearts (and their wallets!!!) for her “art.” Some (a few) might have even bought tickets for her tour  - which starts soon, but has only seven shows sold out to date!

So why is she asking for another chance again?

Oh, it’s because she expected to sell more albums. She expected people to buy whatever crappy music, and even crappier video she put out. She expected it to be easy. She didn’t expect to have to work hard to keep a career handed to her on a silver platter. She didn’t expect to have meetings with executives from her record label meetings regarding the ARTPOP disaster… 

Once again, Lady Gaga proves that what matters to her is fame, and commercial success. She can’t enjoy the small amount of success she got because she doesn’t care about the few thousand fans who bought her shitty album. They don’t matter. She wants to hear the words "millions sold." That’s why she’s lying, giving excuses, blaming other people for her problems, and asking for another chance. Another chance to be the biggest “it girl” in music. And that’s what it’s all about.

What an annoying, hypocritical cunt this ugly little bitch is!

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41 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga bitch whining manipulative desperate artpop artflop Little Monsters mia flip

Dec 3 '13

The ARTFLOP Ball

Tour Dates Reflect the Decline of Lady Gaga

Live Nation just announced the first dates for Lady Gaga’s next tour. And as I predicted, ticket prices were lowered. This time, Gaga’s average ticket price is on pair with her adversary popstars, like Miley Cyrus.

Actually, Gaga’s tickets are cheaper: her floor tickets cost $85.00 now. Obviously, her shows are general admission again, so she can have more people on the floor of arenas than if she had tickets with assigned seats. 

Last time Gaga went on tour, her concert tickets were almost as high as Madonna's (known for expensive tickets and a high production value): the average low ticket price for each of the Born This Way Ball concert in North America was $110.

But the Born This Way Ball forced tour promoters to offer different deals to move tickets in different parts of the world: 

In France, tickets for her concert in Paris were offered on Groupon with a 70% discount. In Nice, she had to downgrade a stadium concert to a theater with 9,000 seas. In Brazil, the deal was “buy one ticket, get one free" in all of her shows. In Rio de Janeiro, on the day of her concert, the deal was buy one, get TWO free. In the US, unsold tickets were given away for FREE at her “Born Brave” bus stationary outside the venues she was playing.

Gaga’s low ticket sales the last time also forced Live Nation to “travel light” with her equipment to cut production costs, forcing her to use Madonna’s MDNA stage structure in most of her concerts in South America. And when Madonna needed her stage back, Gaga borrowed Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet stage structure instead!

This time around, Gaga will most likely have to extend her tour to around 201 shows again if she wants to keep the artificial notion that she is a big touring act (any other famous pop star would be seen as a big touring act if they go on the road with the same tour for three years, and perform 201 shows). If she doesn’t, she won’t be able to pull in the big numbers charging $85 dollars per ticket performing less than 150 shows. 

Oh well, at least she has offered “reserved seats” for $200 (and $35.00, $49.50, and $85.00)… does the “expensive” one include a meet and greet? I wonder how many crappy seats will be sold as expensive ”reserved” so she can steal make a few more bucks off of her retarded special fans

I just wish she would try to bite more than she can chew (she usually does it anyway). It will be even more embarrassing if she needed to borrow Miley Cyrus’s or Katy Perry’s stage structures this time.

#Karma

15 notes View comments Tags: artpop artflop flop artrave scam scamrave lady gaga little monsters miley cyrus katy perry Madonna prismatic tour bangerz tour artpop ball reductive live nation

Dec 3 '13

The ARTFLOP BALL tour has been announced folks. Get ready for more people like him!

(Source: cocaineteas)

8,329 notes View comments (via tarns & cocaineteas)Tags: little monsters lady gaga artrave artpop ball artflop flop live nation prismatic tour bangerz tour miley cyrus katy perry Madonna video embarrassing

Nov 30 '13

Humor

NEVER FORGET:

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42 notes View comments Tags: lady gaga artpop artflop little monsters slay flop artpop will slay funny gifs gif gaga gifs funny gifs humor never forget

Nov 29 '13

Charlie Brown Beats Lady Gaga (Again)

Lady Gaga’s Thanksgiving Special Tanks Big Time

Two years ago, Lady Gaga had a Thanksgiving special to help promote her Born This Way album. Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving episode, however, on its 38th rerun in 2011, beat the crap out of Gaga.

Fast forward two years, and here comes Lady Gaga with a Thanksgiving special on ABC again (this year, with guest appearances of Sir Diva Elton John and Ru Paul). And there goes Charlie Brown again, with his Thanksgiving special, now, being rerun for 40 years

And the results are:

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving had 5.3 million viewers and a 1.6 rating in demo.

Lady Gaga & The Muppets Holiday Spectacular had only 3.6 million viewers and a 0.9 rating in demo.

#slay 

What is worrying (for Gaga), is that the ratings for her 2013 special were almost 80% lower than her 2011 special

Two years ago, ABC’s A Very Gaga Thanksgiving attracted 5.4 million viewers and a 1.6 rating. 

Her latest album, ARTPOP ARTFLOP, released three weeks ago, only managed to be #1 in six countries (Austria, Croatia, Japan, Russia, the US and the UK). In all of them, second week sales suffered an embarrassing steep decline, including the US, where sales dropped 82% on its second week (read more about it here).

What is even more embarrassing, is that you can sum up the sales of Gaga’s latest album on its first and second week together, that it still does not surpass Madonna’s MDNA debut week sales, which Gaga fans called a “flop” a year ago. As the icing on the cake, MDNA’s second week sales are also still higher than Gaga’s album.

#karma

26 notes View comments Tags: thanksgiving lady gaga the muppets flop abc a very gaga thanksgiving lady gaga and the muppets holiday spectacular lady gaga & the muppets' holiday spectacular holiday spectacular rating ratings charlie brown charlie brown thanksgiving a charlie brown thanksgiving little monsters mdna madonna karma slay

Nov 25 '13

DRAMA QUEEN

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This is hilarious:

Lady Gaga just blocked one of her biggest little monsters on Twitter just because he congratulated Taylor Swift.

@LGMonsterFacts is one of the nastiest and most annoying little monsters in Twittersphere: a true uneducated bully who spreads more ignorance than facts (unlike what his user name indicates).

Gaga used to love it though. She used to approve it - she has even tweeted him in the past a couple of times. But now something has changed. I guess being an out and proud little monster and supporting Taylor Swift is an insult, especially at a time like this.

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Being the cold hearted bitch that she is, Gaga completely dismissed the guy and blocked him.

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But don’t you feel sorry for him. In good old Gaga fashion, he’s going on and on in full-on monster mood: “poor me, I was blocked, I always supported her. I’m deleting this account” type of thing.

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The account, however, has not been deleted yet (I doubt it ever will). You know it damn well: a little monster playing the victim card? That’s impossible [insert sarcastic tone here]!

Gaga must be really pressed these days:

First, her embarrassing performance on SNL did not boost her album’s second week sales (you can expect a very good post about it coming your way this Wednesday/Thursday). And now, her American Music Awards performance proved to have had little to no impact at all on the charts.

As we published last as the award show went along, Gaga’s collaboration with accused pedophile R. Kelly was at #24 on iTunes song sales chart minutes before her performance: 

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But 3 and 1/2 hours after the award show, the song had moved up only one spot on the sales chart:

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Is Interscope spending more money on payola to save artFLOP's second single from complete disaster? Maybe Lady Gaga is spending her own (after all, she is the one who has publicly cried bankruptcy twice).

AMERICAN MUSICS AWARDS 2013:

Did you guys watch the American Music Awards? What did you think of it? 

Katy Perry opened the ceremony with an oriental themed performance (looking flawless, as usual).

I love it how she is on Madonna-mode full throttle this year - and she doesn’t hide it (which makes us love her even more):

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POP CULTURE EDUCATION FOR LITTLE MONSTERS:

Madonna first showed us her love for Asia at the American Music Awards in 1995:

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Wearing a red oriental silk dress, Madonna performed TAKE A BOW along with Baby Face.

The oriental theme was brought on stage by Madonna following her geisha/warrior campaign for Takara Pure Legend in Japan (shot by Pierre et Guilles):

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Katy Perry’s performance also had some elements of Madonna’s iconic 1999 Grammy’s performance of Nothing Really Matters (especially with the silhouettes at the shoji screens).

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Back to the AMAs: Christina Aguilera killed it with her vocals, Miley Cyrus showed us her pussy power, and Justin Timberlake, personally, bored me to death.

What’s your take on the show?

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23 notes View comments Tags: ama amas lady gaga little monsters shade madonna katy perry unconditionally american music awards miley cyrus christina aguilera justin timberlake one direction onedirection 1d

Nov 7 '13

Chart Update

Remember when Lady Gaga fans celebrated that ARTPOP ARTFLOP's second single debuted near the Top 10 last week?

Knowing their ignorance, we taught explained to them that the song debuted high on the charts only because the track was automatically downloaded with the album pre-order (not because of the individual song sales). 

Well, in case you needed any more evidence of that, here’s how it steeply  dropped on its second week:

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From #13 to #58 in a week!

Yup! Those album pre-sales only pushed the song up to #13.

But when only the sales of the song per se, audio track views on YouTube/VEVO, radio, and other forms of streaming were taken in consideration, it plummeted to #58.

#slay

Lesson to be learnt:

Do not celebrate front-loaded sales, little monsters!

And just in case you little monsters morons did not learn your lesson, remember: the same is happening with Venus Penis now, and will happen with Dope Nope next week in the charts, by the way.

15 notes View comments Tags: slay lady gaga charts billboard dwuw venus dope nope little monsters chart update