Side Effects

Definitely, NOT born this way:

It seems Lady Gaga’s “hip” surgery has had a serious side effect on her face: her nose lost its bump.

It’s the Kathy Griffin syndrome - when more than two nose jobs are needed to fix a problem. 

I say “more than two nose jobs” because that’s the conclusion you’re going to get after seeing these pictures from a few years ago: Lady Gaga in a photoshoot with Space Cowboy a little before her first album exploded:

And this is Stefani germanotta before she was transformed into Lady Gaga:

By the way, the picture of Lady Gaga’s new hip nose was not altered. It was taken from MTV’s website. You can check it on here.

Now, the question is: will Lady Gaga’s famous saggy pancake tits have suffered any “side effect” from her “hip” surgery as well? 

There is such a simple solution for this problem:

 Baby, I wasn’t born this way… 

The best part of it all is receiving messages from little morons ”proving” I photoshopped Gaga’s nose. Here’s the proof this little moron sent me:

LOL - really… that’s how they prove I lied. Except that:

Enough said…

Do you still wonder why I call them little morons?

Tidbits…

…or should I say TITbits?

Lady Gaga flashed us her saggy stretch-marked tits again. So Madonna of her. Except that her tits are not as gorgeous as Madonna’s. Put them away, “Lady”.

Speaking of Madge, the one and only Queen of Pop dedicated her Golden Globe winning best original song “Masterpiece” to Lady Gaga in another sold out concert for the MDNA Tour, last night in Atlantic City (sold out, unlike this tour here).

She said: ”I love her. Imitation is the highest form of flattery.“ Then she added: “And one day, very soon, we’re gonna be on stage together, just you wait. Think I’m kidding?”.

We’ll see Madge… we’ll see. I hope you charge her for the private class on “how to own a stage” because the girl desperately needs it.

Still on the Queen of Pop:

It seems Madonna’s next single has been chosen, it will be “Superstar”.

Madonna, I love you, darling, but “Superstar”? What about “Love Spent”?

Johnnie Walker and Madonna’s longtime collaborator (Brazilian designer Giovanni Bianco) will hold a workshop at the Museum of Image and Sound (MIS - Museu da Imagem e Som) in Sao Paulo with 30 designers. At the end, the museum’s curators and Giovanni Bianco will choose the designer who will create the artwork for “Superstar”. 

This…

How PATHETIC can Lady Gaga be?

This video is so awesome that I needed to share it with you guys.

The more I see Lady Garbage, the more I cringe! 

Her personal agenda and antics are so cheap, blatantly ordinary and egomaniac that I cringe with the thought of being called a little monster.

Even publicly acknowledging that two or three songs of hers are listenable is cringe-worthy!

Here we have a video of a bloated Lady Garbage talking to her fans via webcam, sharing with them some “old sweet videos” from September to December 2011.

The content of the video is priceless! Her discourse and attitude are so self-indulgent that it makes me want to barf. 

But before I start talking about some key-moments in this video, let me ask you something:

How far can Gaga’s head go up her own ass?

You see… when she is with her family, enjoying the holidays, do you think she spends her time being a normal daughter, NOT trying to be the center of attention? 

No. Of course not.

She goes to her family’s apartment for Christmas, and she dances and sings to her OWN songs in the living room while her sister films it.

It’s the “look at me” syndrome of the ever-insecure ugly rich little bitch! 

Seriously.

Who goes home for the holidays and plays their own music as enjoyment and quality time with family members? Lady Gaga does!

That’s being self-indulgent at its best, or should I say, worse?

I wonder if their dialogue that night went something like this:

“Hey, sis, play that song! That one —- I like that one. The one I wrote about how [whatever pseudo-artistic explanation she always loves to give about her music].”

This is un-fucking-believable.

Other priceless moments:

1 - She flashes her stretch-marked pancake tits to the camera:

2 - She exploits and exposes Elton John’s son. But hey, that bitter diva also loves when he becomes headline with non-music related topics - so I’m sure he liked having his baby exposed.

3 - Lady Garbage’s mom dancing to Scheisse Shit!

4 - There’s a very short and scary cameo: her sister briefly films herself, and oh! What do we see? That ugly-cuntie face of hers!

Enjoy this excessive piece of self-indulgence!

It’s ART (all Capital letters)!

It’s a pièce de résistance! 

Just because…

This post is dedicated to the little monster who said Madonna had “pancake tits” in the comments section here.

Riiiiiiiight…

Photoshop much?

I love it when little morons desperately attempt to dis Madonna because of her age. Then when an album or photo-shoot with her come out, they criticize her for being airbrushed - as if Lady Gaga did not desperately need airbrushing. 

I was sent the following image as an ad for her groundbreaking (LOL - read here) Oh! De Cologne eau de parfum. How much airbrushing was needed here?

They not only aligned her body, but they changed its shape, rounded and filled up her pancake saggy tits… I mean, the only thing they did not have to alter much was her hideous face - and that’s because she wears a mask (and they still had her weak chin fixed). I wonder how long they spent fixing her. 

In real life, with make up on, this is how Lady Reductive looks - fat rolls, saggy tits (even within a bra), weak chin, ugly face (even behind those huge shades):

Let me remind you that this pic was taken with a professional camera, by a paparazzi. They are professional photographers that use professional equipment.

If you’re still NOT convinced, take a look at Gaga’s boobs when they had not been photoshopped:

One word can describe them: UGLY!

So yeah, little morons, are you sure you can criticize Madonna for using photoshop - like everybody else?

How’s that burn?

I mean, it must really hurt to know that Madonna, 53, looks like this halfway through her strenuous physical show:

And notice one thing: this pic was taken by a fan, with an iPhone (not a professional camera), halfway through her performance.

Want to see how she looks at the end of her show in another fan pic taken with an iPhone?

Madonna, 53, pictured by a fan with an iPhone without make-up on? Here it is:

Are you licking your wounds already little morons?

And what about that body? Those ripped abs? Unlike Lady Gaga, Madonna’s body pics do not need airbrushing:

Now what’s Lady Gaga’s excuse?

Hope you little morons have a great night knowing that Lady Gaga, the young one (LOL), needs more airbrushing than a woman that is twice her age. This fact alone throws all of your ageist insults out the window.

Madonna, fabulous at any age. Lady Gaga, hideous, out of shape and in desperate need of airbrushing at 26. #FactsOfLife

Speaking of #FactsOfLife, another irrefutable fact of life is that Lady gaga is a Madonna-wannabe.

Remember that Madonna recently released her first fragrance ever (after all these years) and in the promo she also wore a mask:

So here’s what they have in common: Madonna wore a mask in her perfume promo invoking Dita (her alter-ego). Lady Gaga Reductive wore a mask in her perfume promo invoking Madonna-invoking-Dita. Makes sense for a person who has blatantly copied Madonna since the day one:

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

You’ve got to love Stefano Gabbana (from Dolce & Gabbana, bitches) for telling like it is and not playing nice because they are all celebrities:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Artwork from here.

It’s 1992 all over again.

Have we all reached a level of absolute complete numbness that the only way we feel alive is by recreating moments from the past? By perpetuating notions and ideals that were long destroyed? The media surely thinks so.

Madonna was “over” and “desperate” when she showed her titties on the catwalk in a Jean Paul Gaultier fashion show in 1992. 

The media also called her “desperate” and “over” when she showed her titties (and her vagina) in her SEX book that year too. 

She was also “desperate for attention” when she posed with one tit out for Esquire magazine in 1994 - back when her career was already “over” and she was already “old” and “irrelevant”.

And now, 20 years after Madonna became “old”, “desperate” and “irrelevant” for the very first time, she’s still making headlines for flashing the same boob. Too much attention for someone whose career’s been said to be “dead” for so long.

Madonna has been a true catalyzer for the western media’s misogyny, sexism and ageism. But more than changing its core structure, she exposes its backwardness more than anything else:

Is it truly a scandal when a woman purposely flashes her nipple on stage in 2012?

Is Madonna showing her nipple in 2012 a real scandal?

The media seems to think it is. At least, they put a lot of effort to make people think it is still a taboo for a woman to do whatever she wants with her body and her sexuality.

The public figures who decided to talk about the Madonna-nipple-flashing tragedy are the best part of it: the ever interesting and poignant Piers Morgan (insert sarcasm here) called her “desperate”. And even Howard Stern called her “desperate”.

I understand Piers Morgan calling Madonna “desperate”. That man says she is desperate even when she avoids being in the public eye. But Howard Stern is the icing on the cake. The man who puts naked women on his show for ratings, the man who objectifies women, the man who flashed his ass on MTV thinks that Madonna is “desperate” because she flashed her nipple in her own show.

Howard Stern as Fartman at the 1992 VMAs.

In all honesty, flashing your ass and faux-farting butt-naked at an award show under the direction of someone else SCREAMS desperation. Madonna’s recent boob-flash seems genuinely irreverent. And she did it because SHE WANTED TO - not because she was directed by MTV to do so.

You can see it in her face that it was not part of a grand plan for publicity. The crowd was wild and the context in which it happened (within the show) was right.

Madonna and her irreverent moment.

There are many people who could feel insulted by Madonna’s boob-flash. Howard Stern certainly is not one of those. 

Stern comes off as a dog that barks but never bites. He was spot on when he criticized Lady Gaga’s HBO special (which failed to beat Madonna’s HBO ratings). All the comments he made were right and funny. But as soon as he was face-to-face with Gaga, he was a different person. And obviously, there was no mentioning of her HBO special - Oh! The things a contract will do for you. Well, that’s how he rolls: he barks loud, but as soon as you’re around, he will even do a trick for a cookie. He does it all the time, with everybody.  

But hey, leave it to the man who objectifies women on his show to judge a woman that shows her nipple when she wants to:

The Strongest Nude Woman contest on Howard TV

At the end of the day, Madonna is the one exposing this retrograde media. She is the one doing what she wants to do, and she is the one owning up to it: 

Every single time we saw her nipple, it was done on purpose. Whether she had an agenda behind it or not, she showed us her body and owned up to her actions. We can’t say the same about other celebrities:

Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Janet Jackson, and so many others, we have all seen their “privates”, but they all used “wardrobe malfunction” as an excuse. They don’t even own up to it like Madonna does.

At the end of the day, Madonna still is the woman with the biggest balls in showbiz.

So let the media make you believe that an active 53-year-old woman showing her nipple and exhibiting an incredibly health-conscious lifestyle is a bad thing. The same media will make you believe that a young singer bleeding on stage on MTV in 2009 is “groundbreaking” and “flesh” (cut to underground electroclash queen Peaches doing the same in 2005).

We definitely are living in the age of perpetuating habits: the good and the bad ones. 

Beware, Madonna, this man is judging you!

53-year-old titties

What were you guys saying about Madonna’s tit again?

Oh, I know. That they’re gorgeous and more attractive than Lady Gaga’s tits - now that’s what an old lady’s tits look like: saggy, low and full of stretch marks.

Sorry monsters, try again.

More MAJOR “YUK” FACTOR after the jump:

Read More

SUCK ON IT!

Madonna getting ready to feed Lady Gaga more ideas for her work:

Hey, little monsters, no need to worry:

There’s plenty more creations by Madonna for mother monster to copy. 

Just SUCK ON IT!

Nipple or face?

I honestly don’t know what is uglier: Janet’s nipple or Janet’s face?

Maybe we’ve been wrong about Gaga all along. Maybe she wants to steal Janet’s career (and she succeeded, as Janet has no career anymore):

Just like Janet, Gaga also has a hideous face and hideous titties. Yuk!

LADY SAGGY TITS!

YUK!

Those two (Lady Saggy Tits and Fugly Jackson) are so hideous - face, tits, and souls. They are miles away from perfection: